Right now I'm in a graduate classroom and it's taking all my willpower not to take my leave and go to the emergency room. The symptoms of my anxiety are so intense, I really could benefit from hearing strategies others have used to cope with issues like this. Here's my background:
For brevity’s sake I’m just going to include the highlights of my situation. I’ve had anxiety issues my whole life, but my struggle with anxiety drastically escalated in my early 20’s and became debilitating. I could not reconcile the sensations I was feeling with my doctors’ reassurances that I was physically healthy. I tried a number of medications, cognitive behavioral therapy, and eventually, after a long struggle, stabilized (though I’d still have panic attacks intermittently, they were much more manageable).
Fast forward to today, I’ve just turned 30 and I’m now a graduate student. I’ve managed to achieve a lot of the goals I set for myself in life; however, anxiety is once again becoming a hindrance for me. I recently ended up in the emergency room, convinced I was having a heart attack. The tests (ekg, extensive bloodwork, chest x-ray, and cat scan) detected no abnormalities. I was given an IV of ativan and sent home. Even though having the tests done should reassure me, I’m plagued by fears that I could have a litany of health maladies that are responsible for my physical anxiety sensations. I have such a strong influence over my body’s behavior, if I start to fret over being slightly light-headed, then I’ll fixate over it to the point where I’m able to make myself feel light headed. The same goes for my heart-rate, and many other symptoms.
I’m wondering if anyone else has experience with this type of anxiety. I’ve had a lot of medical tests done, in the past, and recently, and I know logically they should be enough to alleviate my concerns, but I can’t seem to overcome this irrational cycle of fears. I’m thinking a factor in this could be the fact that several months ago I got a new doctor and was prescribed a daily dosage of xanax. I probably didn’t need to take it daily, my anxiety was still under control at that juncture, but I’m now at a point where I am dependent on it. The ER doctor speculated (and this is my layman interpretation) that it’s possible my increase in anxiety is being caused by the xanax usage, since I’m likely building up a tolerance to it, and could potentially be going into a withdrawal state between doses because of it. I'm also on a beta blocker (metoprolol), in order to help my anxiety related heart issues. My primary care physician seems to think continuing to take the xanax is a viable option, or I could switch to an alternative benzo with a longer half-life.
TL;DR, I’m fixated on irrational health fears that end up manifesting physical symptoms, which then exacerbates my anxiety and initiates a cycle of escalation. My medication could be a factor. I could benefit from some input coming from other people who’ve suffered from similar issues.