Hello everyone. I have OCD. A big problem of mine is obsessing over guilt, and obsessing over if I did something wrong.
A year ago a group of users made a 120+ page document of all the reasons they dislike another user. Basic points were: a) this user was rude to them sometimes b) it was a toxic online server c) user said some transphobic things 1-2 years ago d) user massively overreacts over situations and then Tweets that overreaction. They also accused her of stealing and not paying her workers, and so went to her funding board to supposedly try and get her work and funding cancelled. From what I can see she wasn’t stealing, she was using her funding to get supplies for her workplace, and the case of her ‘trying to get free work’ was because she asked for volunteers when her staff were struggling with COVID and couldn’t keep up. She fired everybody associated with the email to her funding board, and from what I can tell they’ve never forgiven her for it.
For a year now, the people who made this document have been encouraging everyone else to not support her, not interact with her, don’t let her come back without repercussions etc. People have been posting on social media horrible things about her. Typing her name into Twitter comes up with lots of things like ‘I hate her’ ‘she’s a piece of ****’ ‘she’s a dirtbag’ ‘don’t interact with her’ ‘if you follow her block me’. Also keeping tabs of other users who still interact with her. They accused her of stealing (from my view she clearly wasn’t), and people have been making videos calling her a bad person. They’ve been going into her online servers to report back on what’s happening in there, and then making videos laughing at her when she realizes who’s doing it. They took a private conversation where she said how upset and paranoid she was that she can’t say anything to anybody because it’ll be leaked on the Internet to criticize her for; they did just that, leaked it on the Internet, and then claimed this was her guilttripping them and playing the victim card. She says she’s locked down her social media due to being getting threats, and they said they wanted evidence that she was being threatened.
Now, don’t get me wrong, the woman they’re targeting doesn’t seem like a saint and she has certainly done stuff I disagree with. I think she has a lot to learn about transgender issues especially. But she also has the ability to change and move on. It’s been going on for a year and escalating. I caught somebody telling this woman’s fans to die for supporting her.
I was open and honest in saying that this has gone way too far, and that this is dangerous now, and that the words you type on the Internet are not a game and could seriously hurt someone. I said that this is cyberbullying now and she’s become the victim. I said that if this ends in her suicide, it’s on them for not cutting it out.
They said I was bullying them. That I was guilttripping them. That I was ‘halting accountability’. That this isn’t bullying, this is just the consequences of her actions. That I was transphobic for defending her. That I was suicide baiting them. Lots of likes and retweets agreeing with them.
That one really hurt and I can’t shake the guilt off. I have PTSD from a suicide-related incident and would never want to suicide bait someone.
They also said ‘she would never kill herself’, ‘someone who is suicidal doesn’t do the stuff she does’, ‘you’re running out of ideas to defend her’, and heavily implied she was too happy to ever kill herself. They say this is just the consequences of her actions and she needs to stop running away from it by locking down her social media.
Ever since I have been knee-deep in guilt and obsessing over if I did something wrong. What if I DID suicide bait them? What if I was being abusive to THEM?
Been feeling very awful and suicidal over this 