Struggling!

General health and lifestyle
1

Hi all,

Have been drinking for a number of years and desperately trying to stop. HAve been to GP, had referral to recovery but was awful....will not bore you!! I had bloods done and all came back fine. I am mentally dependant not physically. I have managed to reduce previously but once i jump back on the 'rollercoaster', I find it difficult to get back off. Can anyone recommend any online support/advice? I know that i have the strength to do this but want support, in respect of people's own success stories and the journey there......something i can relate to. I routinely drink a half bottle of vodka every night but i do drink nearly 2ltr of water ever day and i just want to stop! I have a young son and constantly beat myself up about what a bad role model i am. We have a close relationship but I'm well aware that kid's learn more from what they see! Sorry for the ramble.....any advice welcomed but dont want to go down medication route.

Many thanks

Rach

2

TBH, you will probably get as good advice here and feedback, as you will anywhere else.

You will probably need medication to help you come off alcohol. Long term, it changes your body and mind and it is almost impossible to stop, and then not start again a few months later.

Unfortunately, about the only place you will get the medication is at an alcohol recovery charity, because the government has outsourced it.

If you can manage to stop of your own accord, then I recommend Campral, which for most dampens down the thought process of always wanting alcohol.

If you can't stop, then Selincro helps to reduce the want of alcohol and gradually over time, you should start to lose the taste/want for alcohol.

The main problem for anyone giving up alcohol without medication, is the fact that their brain thinks about alcohol 24/7.

3

Well, as you might have read in previous posts, I just stopped. No planning or count down, more an impulsive thing. No Dr or medication and no side effects either. That was well over 9 years ago. Yes, I still think it would be OK to have just one sometimes, but inside my head knows better. So, it is possible. Lucky maybe. Others in my family still drink, but never tempt me. 

.

4

 I agree with RHGB that you will find more support and sensible advice here than elsewhere.

I was lucky and got campral prescribed by my GP and it worked for me in stopping cravings. Unfortunately as already said, the recovery centres seem to be in charge of medication.

ive stopped without medication in the past, but if you're drinking half a bottle of vodka a day, it would be unsafe IMO to do that.

another option is to taper off slowly. 

5

Hi Rachel, As you said you DON'T want to go down the Medication route, comming here and asking advice is goiing to give you some support, but you are going to have to find something to replace your drinking and avoid not having something else to do in the evening. How big is your bottle that you are drinking from? Your best way of stopping (if thats what you want to do), is having a gradual cut down to ease you out of the habbit. Start with measuring out your drinks. Maybe keep a diary of how you feel before a drink and after. You may start to see that all the pros of drinking are short Term, and all the cons of Drinking are long term. And then when you cut down, All the cons of not drinking are short term, and the pros, long term...Chat soon, AL 

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I agree with RHGB. I am 6 weeks sober following a detox programme at my alcohol recovery centre. I am now taking Campral and it really does make a difference. Only thing is GP"s won't prescribe it initially they refer you to the alcohol recovery unit. Good luck

7

Hi, I have  tapered down from 2 bottles nightly to 2 glasses (with the odd weekend where I have cheated totally.) I did not want to go to the recovery clinic my Doc referred me to so got no meds (only Diazepam to take for 2 weeks if I wanted to come off alcohol in one go, to stop seizures.)  I decided against this as don't want to like the feeling of Diazepam.

I found it much easier to cut it by reducing my glass size, it is such a teeny tiny glass and I have 2 but it feels like I have had 2 normal glasses of wine.  The less I have the less I need to a point when I think, how could I knock back 2 bottles!!

You will find plenty of solid info on here all ready to help you.

Good luck with this venture, it can be done.............G.

8

(going to post again as I think I got moderated because I put the names of another couple of online forums in the post!  Sorry!!)

Hello Rach,

I am sorry that you are struggling but you are not alone.

It is not impossible to stop drinking using immediate abstinence and online support from a friendly bunch of folks, but it is incredibly difficult.  Like snakes and ladders.  You will stop, manage for a while and then over time the old call for alcohol starts again so you hit a snake and straight back down again.  Each time this happens, it gets harder to stop next time due to what is called the Alcohol Deprivation Effect.

This is because the pathways associated with alcohol use and 'reward' have become stronger than other pathways.  You brain either screams for the relief to quieten it, or it becomes more clever and convinces you that you will be okay this time.  This is why you know you are mentally dependent.  Either way, you are at such a high risk of relapse.

If this happens to you, then the best you can work towards is trying to ensure each gap between relapses gets longer and longer until eventually you manage to knit some good length of sobriety together.

There are some good forums and websites out there that offer online support which can be useful, including this one.  I guess it's just a case of dipping your toe in the water and seeing if a particular online site suits you.  The only thing to be aware of with online forums is that sometimes people become addicted to the thrill of people sympathising with them.  My experience was that I found good people, willing to do their best for other people.  That was great and it's commendable.  But there were also people who were constantly relapsing because people were nice and supportive to them when they did.  Many drinkers face hostility at home and so are in need of some validation and friendship and need to hear that things will be okay.  They get this from an online forum but then get unintentionally trapped in a cycle of realising that if they stopped drinking, and and manage to stay stopped, then the sympathy and care from others reduces too.  Be aware, otherwise you may find yourself joining with the best intentions, but then finding yourself unwittingly drawn into this behaviour because you are reading about it all the time and it could end up actually hindering your recovery too.

Of course, I can only speak for myself but I could not stay stopped without medical help to weaken that pathway when I drank.  I tried for over 20 years to manage the problem on my own, with online forums, face to face AA meetings, acupuncture etc etc.  Eventually, I accepted that I had a medical condition (the pathways in my brain strengthening) and that needed to seek medical treatment to help me.

I would have given anything to have been able to sort myself out without medical help, but I just couldn't.

Different things work for different people and it's just a case of finding what works best for you :-)

9

"The only thing to be aware of with online forums is that sometimes people become addicted to the thrill of people sympathising with them.  My experience was that I found good people, willing to do their best for other people.  That was great and it's commendable.  But there were also people who were constantly relapsing because people were nice and supportive to them when they did.  Many drinkers face hostility at home and so are in need of some validation and friendship and need to hear that things will be okay.  They get this from an online forum but then get unintentionally trapped in a cycle of realising that if they stopped drinking, and and manage to stay stopped, then the sympathy and care from others reduces too.  Be aware, otherwise you may find yourself joining with the best intentions, but then finding yourself unwittingly drawn into this behaviour because you are reading about it all the time and it could end up actually hindering your recovery too."

^^^^^^^^^^^^^

This.

10

One technique I used at the beginning was to set alcohol free goals, eg a week without. Then up to 10 or so, etc. I found that when I reached say 30, the thought of starting again from zero was going to be a huge disappointment! I do have an obsession with numbers however. I'm up to 9 years, 8 months and 23 days now. I even remember the actual time of day when I threw the last drink out the window. But that's just me...It is working though! 

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P.S. The 10 and 30 refer to days, not weeks...

12

Thank you for your reply. If I could get Campral from the GP then I probably would go down that route but I just couldn't bear going to ARC. I think I did 3 visits (reluctantly) and as soon as my bloods came back fine (just vit B injections), I felt reassured that I wasn't physically dependant therefore believed I could do this myself. I guess my thinking is that I gave up smoking and so just need to apply the same mental logic / strength.....!!

I have had dry days and felt great but inevitably Friday rolls round and with it, my excuse to drink! I do believe I have the strength to do it and feel that I am edging closer to being in the right mind set but it's slow. I hate the fact that from the moment I wake up I am thinking about whether or not I'll drink that evening.

I am going to try to cut down and taper off - that is the plan. Meanwhile I will keep 'dipping' in to this sight for, hopefully, support and inspiration. I have posted before and I do regularly follow people's posts but I am more of an observer!

Once again, thank you for your response (and from the other members).

Kind regards

Rach

13

Thank you for all your replies and advice, it's very much appreciated. 😊

Kind regards

Rach

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Making the decision to quit is hard and following through on it is harder but you CAN do it. Online support is great because it is always at your finger tips. I would also recommend seeking out in person support as well. A trusted friend to be accountable to or a 12 step prgoram.