Hi everyone,
I used to post here fairly regularly and visit daily when i was at my really bad phase. I always looked forward to the day that I'd be able to come back and share a positive experience. And that day has come!
I came down with glandular fever (mononucleosis) in October 2015 and ended up with chronic fatigue and a plethora of mental health issues due to the drastic change of life circumstances and worry about health. In July 2016 i had what i can only describe as a nervous breakdown. Although i had been experiencing severe anxiety and depression on and off for months before then, it hit in full force in July. The depression and SEVERE anxiety was unbearable. In August 2016 i was diagnosed with OCD amongst other things and started on fluoxetine at only 5mg with the intention of gradually building up to 20mg because i was so SO sensitive and in a really bad way. Things got a lot worse before they got better, and I'd say it took about 3 weeks on a steady dose of 5mg that i felt comfortable going up in dosage again. However i didn't feel anywhere near better on 5mg. I knew i had to continue on.
It took from mid August to mid December for me to comfortably get up to 20mg. Every time i would increase dosage even by 5mg it would throw me off for at least 3 weeks with worsened depression and a return of panic attacks. Once the 20mg settled into my system, i have not had a panic attack since.. which is a huge feat because i was having multiple severe panic attacks a day before meds. In January i went back to work after 7 months off. For the first month i had to get my partner to come with me to my shifts (im a part owner of a retail business and have flexible work). I started going by myself in February. It was a huge challenge but every day i felt a tiny bit stronger. I really feel like this slow and gentle exposure back into regular life helped me so much. It would have been traumatic for me to jump straight back in, taking into account i was basically house bound for a very long time.
Overall i am feeling SO MUCH BETTER. I wish i could go in to thorough detail here but i feel like i would forget important bits. Please if you have any questions, just ask. I never thought the nightmare would end. It was such an awful awful experience. I don't feel 100% yet but very close to it. I think the only thing affecting me now is the residual chronic fatigue symptoms. Its important to note i didn't drink at all during this period.. only recently ive been having the very occasional alcoholic drink and i only have 1.
Im able to cope with stress so much better now. I haven't had a bad depressive episode in at least 3-4 months. If something quite stressful happens, i still get anxious but it never eventuates into a panic attack even though i expect it to, it never happens. I don't get that "crazy" feeling anymore, like im about to lose my mind. I feel stable and much more capable.