Naturally there are lots of posts with people new to anxiety or having flare ups. I thought I would write a post about someone overcoming anxiety, me J It might give some hope to other people. I have suffered with excess worry for as long as I can remember. That grew into full blown anxiety that over about five of years got worse and worse. In the early stages I did CBT and tried anti-depressants but didn’t get on with either. I would go through spells where the anxiety almost crippled me with worry and catastrophising thoughts. I started to get intrusive thoughts as well. I could hear people’s thoughts in my head and they were all thinking derogatory things about me like ‘you are worthless, ‘you are disgusting’, ‘you are a paedophile’, ‘you are dangerous’, ‘you are dirty’, you make me feel sick’, etc. These were very distressing. The anxiety got so bad that a number of relatively minor events that happened one after another sent me into a breakdown where I thought I was going mad. I tried to hang myself in the garage but my wife found me just in time. It was at this time that I realised I needed professional help. I went to the GP with my wife and explained the situation. They immediately referred me to mental health primary care. I was signed off work. I saw a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with GAD and some form of mood disorder. I was put on Venlafaxine and the dose was quickly raised to 300mg. The Ven helped massively but did not get rid of the intrusive thoughts. For this I was prescribed anti-psychotics which have largely got rid of the intrusive thoughts. When I stabilized I was referred to Cognitive Analytical Therapy which mapped some of my maladaptive behaviours to a troubled childhood. It was about this time I was also diagnosed with an unspecified personality disorder but with Narcissistic tendencies. About two years on and I have gradually improved to the point where I consider myself generally well. I still get bouts of anxiety but that is normal for anyone. I have had a bit of a rough time recently as I have been diagnosed with epilepsy and I have been in and out of hospital with an unrelated complaint. I have coped reasonably well with these setbacks. I am still on medication and have been told I may need to stay on medication for life.
It is not all positive as I have some unpleasant side effects. I get very sweaty, I have put on a lot of weight, I have sexual dysfunction, I am tired all the time. But I am not suicidal and I see that as a success story. I dream of the day I might be able to come off meds but for now I will continue as is, I don’t want to jeopardise my recovery.
Thank you. Thank you for laying bare your soul before us all so that you might help others. That is the ultimate act of unselfishness and it will give hope to others who are struggling.
Your courage is very moving. You have a strength perhaps you did not realize but it is there for all that.
It is people like you that fly the flag for all of us! Life might have knocked you down over and over but you got right back up again.
Glad the meds are working for you but aren't seizures a side effect of the ven????? You said you got diagnosed with epilepsy??? Maybe it's the medication??? Just a thought ...sorry
The anti-psychotics reduce the threshold for seizures. Neither the epilepsy nurse, nor the psychiatrist think that is the root cause but it may make the seizures more frequent. At the moment the seizures appear to be under control with medication. Ven also can lower the seizure threshold but not to the same extend as the anti-psychotics.
Wow it must have been a lot to talk about all of that, you always have support here and I'm so glad you found help and a balance for yourself! Please keep us updated we none of us know eachother but we all care deeply and Helen you are always such a positive influence ❤️
Thank you! Thats a beautiful thing to say to me and and encouragement like that, whilst it made my eyes fill with tears, also made my heart happy!
There are some wonderful, brave people on this site. My respect for them knows no bounds and coming here has helped me have a measure of self-respect too
What an amazing bunch of people. A key to any kind of healing whether physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual, leaps forward with self revelation...then to make that revelation public.
For me, the big revelation, the big self exposure has been emotional. Until I found all you wonderful people, I didn't have a clue that even though it didn't show to others, I was walking around emotionally wrapped in plastic wrap. Well, I don't know if it's all off yet...if not, it is definitely going. The world looks very different from this clearer place.
This happened here, due to all of you being so open. In the "nomal" world, people are much more guarded, to the point that you often have no idea who you are really talking to. Here...what you "see" is what's real. What courage you all have, with special kudos today to Bogmonster!! Love to you all.
"Here" we can be ourselves, warts and all, without fear of scorn or derision. Here we can put away the brave face we show to the world and show the true pain. And here we know we will receive compassion, understanding and help beyond any which we could have imagined or hoped for.
Today Bogmonster was inspirational.
I too love you all! All you "real" people xxxxAll hand holding across the chasm before us
Whilst we do not know each other neither are we strangers. In a sense we have all walked a mile in each others shoes They might be different shoes. It might have been along a different path.
But the end result is the same.
It has given us empathy and thus we truly feel what they feel and we truly care.
Sounds perfectly correct to me, dear heart. After re reading what I wrote, and then what you wrote, I realized just how very true it is that except for each other, the rest of the world is not communicating with the same openness, candor, vurnerability and....truth.
What a world we could have if everyone could speak with such a lack of ego and self protection....might have better relationships all across the board...maybe even no war.
What if we are in the vanguard of a new peace movement.....WHAT A CONCEPT! Then again this angel may be a nut.