Hi, i have posted in this forum recently, due to suffering anxiety right now and goint through a really hard tim with myself.
So i would like to ask for advice now, as to my ruminating..
I feel irrational feelings of having lied to the person i have been in a relationshop with for a long time. I have lied about some minor things that i have never before felt matters at all, and i have omitted some things about the circumstances of my childhood that i didnt feel too comfortable talking about. I have felt shameful and havent seen the necessity to talk about it. All of this has to do with my father (who is not my biological father, but the father that raised me in early childhood) I broke off contact with him long before i even met the partner in question. I have moved on from this (or so i thought) never think about him, dont have any feelings about it when i do. My partner hasnt inquired a whole lot about it, so mostly i have just never thought about it and left it behind. This hasnt bothered me at all in the past! But now that i am anxious it feels like it really does. I realize it is irrational to have fullblown anxiety about this. But i hate to feel like a "bad" person.
Is all of this the anxiety "talking"? Gradually over the last couple of days i have felt worse and worse about it, which seems irrational too. I mean the situation is exactly the same now as it was 2 weeks ago, when i didnt even give it a second thought! Isnt that just so insane. I realize that its my way of thinking about it that adds fuel to it and makes it seem worse. But please im just looking for any kind words or relief! Will this go away? Is there a limit as to how much one person can ruminate an issue?
Id like to clarify that this isnt anything that directly affects my partner or our relationship. Its about things that happened years ago unrelated to him, that i just dont want to disclose.