Hi, I hope someone can answer me. Its not really a question I just need to talk as I have no one.
I was in an abusive relationship for 2 years. Both mentally and physicaly. A couple of months ago, he broke up with me. ( because he is convinced I cheated on him. )
I still wake up in tears. I feel numb. Im not even angry that he used to be abusive. He has made me feel like it is nothing and that it is all my fault. He wants me to die and has always made me feel worthless. I hurt myself all through our relationship and I am trying to stop but all I want to do is die. I dont know who I am anymore. I have no friends to talk to. Sorry that this was quite long. I am depressed. Im not even sad anymore I just feel numb all I want to is take my own life. And the worst thing is that I still love him and want him to come back. I know its my fault and I know I shouldnt live anymore.
I know exactly how you feel here. I was in a mentally abusive relationship and he left me not so long ago, I'm still struggling; still love and want him to come back. The way you described you're feeling, is exactly how I still feel unfortunately. Whatever has happened between you both, it is not your fault and no partner is ever worth taking your life for. There's every reason for you to live, you may not see it yet but one day someone will come along and treat you right, no physical or mental abuse. Stay strong and know you always have this site to let your feelings out on and feel free to message me whenever if you just need someone to listen even. Hope you're feeling a little better soon, take care. Jodie x
Hiya
i never come on this no more, but for some reason when i was scanning through my emails my eyes stopped on your name and i felt a strong urge to contact you!
i need to tell you that i felt the same as you! So downtrodden and as worthless as a piece of rubbish!
I got to a point where i couldnt even feel emotions or cry or be angry...i just knew i needed to be back with him asap!
everything that had happened i blamed myself for and told myself i was the one and id messed up everything.
i hit rock bottom amd wanted to kill myself. People used to say that things would change and i would be happy and i used to hate it sooo much because i used to think they were chatting rubbish or id be jealous and resentful.
I ended up havin a breakdown and panic attacks etc.
i now am with a lovely guy and have two beautiful girls. However i still suffer from the anxiety and panic attacks. I wish i could go back in time and shake myslf and tell myself that my future would change and that noone is worth me wanting to die over. Maybe i could have got through to myself and wouldnt still be suffering panic attacks now.
you have no idea what your future holds, and right now this bully has clouded your view and pushed you so far down that you can even see a future.
you nees to push yourself to stay away from him and concentrate on building a life for yourself....as soon as you do that your mindset will turn around so fast you will be so shocked!!!!
I promise you that you could have a good future if you now take this step!
Here if u need to talk xxx
Please don't accept responsibility for a person that hurt you, he did that for whatever he thinks his reasons are, you don't deserve it.
it's now time to move on, to find you, the real you and to see how you can be fixed.
please try and get to talk to a professional about how you are feeling and tell them everything, how low you feel and how desperate you feel, hopefully they will make a plan of how to help you.
all the best