My name is Andrea Nurse and today I decided to switch from Cit 10mg to Escitalopram 10mg per my Dr.
Allow me to share some of my history. I started on Citalopram in 1999 after a severe case of post partum with the birth of my third and severe anxiety due to the turn of the century and being convinced the world was ending.
I never had PP with my other children ages 6 and 4 and this hit me so hard all I could do was lay in bed and cry. My husband had to call in help because I had no interest in caring for our children, him or even myself. I just laid in bed waiting to die.
My Dr put me on Paxil which sent me into a whirlwind of worse emotions. I had plenty of friends that were successful on Paxil so this rose my anxiety level further convincing me I was stuck like this. The next thing she put me on was citalopram and shared that it could take weeks to work so be patient. I lived the next 5 weeks in emotionless ■■■■. I truly wanted to die but didn’t want to die if that makes sense.
During that 5 weeks I went on my first Disney Cruise with my husband, kids and I laws. Before all of this I had been so excited for this trip but did not enjoy it at all. I watched as my husband and three kids along with my inlaws had such an amazing time. I wished that I could be as happy as they were but just couldn’t conjure those feelings.
After getting back home I returned to work which I had always loved however now it was now utter ■■■■ everyday.
I can’t remember the exact day it happened but I remember finally waking up and feeling happy again. It took about 8 weeks but finally I felt like me again and grew stronger and stronger.
That lasted for 19 years before I relapsed.
Today I am retired at the early age of 47,just bought a new house across from the beach, I am planning my daughters wedding,have a son that reached a huge dream goal of playing professional baseball and my younger daughter just moved to oregon which has been a major dream for her. Everything is falling into place and I was extremely content, excited for my future and ready to have the best times of my life.
I received a call in September from my brother stating that my mom had maybe 24 hours to live. I was sad and devastated but handled it well I thought.
I pack up and rushed home to Ct the very next day. Long story short I stayed three weeks by her side everyday and shes still alive 6 weeks later and showing improvement.
So while there I ran out of my Citalproam and I was off it for a full week. I felt absolutely fine no issues at all but I immediately got back on when I got home.
On day three of being back on I woke up a complete empty shell. I went into complete panic mode. I literately went to bed happy and ready for vacation (another cruise)and woke up an empty shell, dead inside.
This has lasted 24 long days. It’s been ■■■■!! Way worse then the last time. There have been periods where I just wanted to die. I felt no emotions other then fear.
My Dr told me to stick it out a few more weeks but I just can’t do it because I feel like I’m losing my mind.
She put me on Escitalopram 20 mg but starting me on half pills.
I took my first 10mg today. I didn’t wean off the Cit since Escitalopram is in Cit and essentially the same drug.
I immediately felt panic and stomach pain that lasted an hour and then for the first time in weeks I felt relief. Not a ton but enough to go out to the store and stay focused. I know the bad will be back but I’m praying this will work.
Anyone else have similar issues and have to change from Citalopram to Escitalopram that can share stories.