Hi Jude and everyone,
gosh I'm really sorry to hear about u being raped Jude this is really horrible and I really feel for your situation. I also live in Aust in WA. For those overseas from Aust, yes Aust government does provide some free health services for residents and citizens only but unfort due to constant government funding cuts in health and education available free services are reducing constantly, unfort our world over here is becoming more and more divided between those who can afford good private health and those who can't and we now have one of, if not the highest cost of living in the world. Basically those who don't have a lot of money can only get very limited help in pretty much anything. Its very sad and very frustrating but this is how our society is going. Aust is a great country to live in don't get me wrong but there is still a lot of poverty and poorness unfortunately. I wish u all the very best in your recovery Jude. Take care Nettie
Thanks for yr support Norma. The counselling I had at CASA was free and very good, the problem is finding ongoing counselling for these issues with my daughter. We used to be able to have 20 free counselling sessions a year, then it was cut to 12 and now it's 6 with another 4 if your gp signs another referral.
I had 6 sessions with a psychologist recently and my daughter finally agreed to do some reconcilitation counselling with me and the counsellor. However the last time I saw the counsellor before this was to start, she got angry with me because I couldn't stop crying, which is exactly what my daughter does if I'm even the slightest bit stressed, so I decided she wasn't the counsellor for me.
In earlier sessions I'd already overlooked some new age rubbish she'd come out with, stuff about karma and that I could protect myself from the rapist by writing his name on the piece of paper & putting it in my freezer - absolute garbage inother words. I told her I didn't believe in either karma or magic & am intending emailing her to say that I think it's totally unprofessional to bring her spritiual beliefs into counselling & to express anger with someone who's crying.
Most nights I go to bed hoping I won't wake up in the mornng and then I'm disappointed when I have to face another day. I've already decided taht if I feel another hear tattack comong on I won't call the ambulance.
Hi Jude,I'm not no counsellor, but you could say I've lived life.
when you talk about going to bed and never waking up,I've thought that a few times. I suffer bad health which gets me down from time to time,ive also had a heart attack,and I get so frustrated at not being able to do what I once could. But my youngest son is so kind and careing the thought of leaving him devestates me,it's what keeps me going,and I think you always need something to live for,oh and of cause my hubby ha ha.
I don't know how old your daughter is,but maybe she just has a lot to learn,it really upsets me when you have family,but you have no support from them like David said its what we expect but not necessarily what we get.
I have one younger sister left out of six of us,and we never speak,I also have three sons,and I only really tell my youngest son any of my fears.
Have you not got any good friends to talk to,what you've been through is going to take a long time to get over,so don't be to hard on yourself or your daughter she just may not understand empathy.
Anytime you want to talk Im here for you,PM me if you wish,and remember I don't know you or you know me and we're never likely to meet so it may be easier for you. But please be kind to yourself and give yourself a treat.x
Thanks everyone for sharing so much on this post. I how one day that I fell able to do the same, in the meantime, peace and best wishes to you all as we fight the devestation and ruin that depression is.
My daughter is capable of empathy and support for me and others, but when she's in a relationship she hates me. She once accused me of causing trouble in her relationship when I was living on the other side of the continent!
She has finally agreed to go to counselling with me about this issue, which has been going on for decades, but it's taking a lot of organising & in the meantime I'm keeping my distance for fear of being hurt even more.
She's 43, by the way and an only child with 3 kids of her own ranging from 7 to 24. I've always been supportive of her through her numerous relationship breakups & financial problems and I don't actually expect her to be supportive any more, just not undermine and attack me verbally when I'm vulnerable - not too much to ask, is it?
Thanks Nettie! I totally agree with you about the cutbacks, it seems to get worse and worse and I find it really difficult trying to survive on a pension in private rental.
No Jude, It's not to much to ask. I can see where your coming from when you say she blames you for her relationships. My eldest son who is 49yrs old with two girls with his wife they are 11yrs and 7yrs old,he then has two boys from a previous relationship who are 25yrs and21yrs old and he blames me for them boys not wanting to know him,when he was the one who had affairs with other women when he was with there mother,and he did nothing for them when they were little.
I didnt speak to him for 8yrs,then we made up and because his boys don't want to know him Im to blame again,so we're back to square one not speaking again. I just think if your a mum your expected to take the blame for whatever goes wrong in there life. But my husband and me both suffer now with Ill health ,so now no more we are not speaking again. Like your daughter he can be a very kind man,he once saved my life,but he can also be very selfish,and like you say it depends on his relationship with his now wife. I feel me and my husband have done the best we can for our boys,but there comes a time when they have to take responsibility for there own actions. But I think all that goes wrong in my two elder boys will always be MOMS falt. I hope things will change for you Jude,but I give up.
Hi all, sorry been flat out working this week, how are you all going?
Im bk on 15 mirt feeling better but I have felt my mood dip this week and I've been feelng grumpy so I took myself off the the gym tonight feeln a little better at least got a few things done afterwards but gees I've notice going bk onto 15 mig mirt I'm putting the damn kilos on again my stomach is getting fatter again, gees I don't know how to bet this battle. Be fat and medicated and more relaxed but lonely and feel not worthy of a good man because I'm too fat or feel like rubbish for as long as it takes, have no sleep etc and loose a few kilos. Grrrrr I really wish there was another way in this life....anyone got any good ideas that don't cost lots of $$,.
for u IBS suffers, have u tried going on a strictly gluten and wheat free diet for a few months to at least, I've heard from others that this can help with IBS problems. Cheers for now, snooze time in western Aussie