Hello Ray,
Well first off I am so sorry you lost your best mate, that was a big blow to deal with, you being so close.
It is all to easy to trust Drs, and they take the quick easy option, pop a pil - next patient please. You have done great though so far getting off the various meds you were on, a Dr. even if you had gone to one for help would have done nothing for you. Well done so far Ray x
I am guessing you want off of these drugs pretty darn quick - forget it, and the dose you are on now is gonna take a few months to come down to zero..... so please, I mean it, please go slowly or you will be wasting your time, worse you will set your self way back.
I took Diaz for over 30 years, for muscle spasm. they were good too. Now I am at 10 months with NO Diaz at all. Went through various withdrawal symptoms, sick, runs, no appatite, lost a lot of weight bad sweats lol, worst were the cramps, body arms legs, and with the spasms thrown in now and then it has been real bad.
10 months on, still having cramps and spasms, and muscle pain, last three or four weeks, heart is behaving strangely, pain, tho not real bad, and irregular beats. The tiredness I have a lot of anyway, but tis worse with the withdrawal, offset by the morphine which causes insommnia - but desperate for sleep.
Your anxiety, did that include a panicy heart, racing with your thoughts? Could be that is surfacing again, made worse as a withdrawal symptom and your want / need to get your life back plus some. Fatigue/ tiredness, that will be the withdrawal to a great degree, also you are living a slow life style, age being a lot to do with it, warm sun another, lovely as it is, it does go hand in hand with taking things more slowly. Your body is fighting to manage with a smaller dose of meds than it is used to, you will be sweating a lot, and I hope drinking a lot to make up for this, you will be losing a great deal of your body fat, maybe getting a sweet tooth as well as your body tries to replace it's energy store - the Diaz is stored in the body fat, plus other parts of the system, muscles and even the bones. Not wanting to upset you at all, but it takes 7 years for a body to renew all its cells, Diaz is stored in these cells, and the longer length of time you took it, the more cells are involved, seems reasonable !! See where I am going, why you can't just get it out the system and be clear right off. I be guessing you have taken Benzo type drug for around 10 years, you will get get clear of them just fine, but take your time, and listen to your body, sleep is good for you just now, so don't fight it, my sleep pattern is just like yours, apart from when I take the morphine, and I have found it is easiest not to fight it, don't think you will have started with cramps yet, you maybe wont at all, or could have in the tummy, and visiting the loo more often, just the clearing system. This also drains your energy level, how is your eating / appatite, changed at all - if it has, go with whatever, just be sure to eat and drink a lot. Apples and yogurt keep me going lol, ohhh and ice cream.
Have not mentioned the memory Ray. The Diaz will have put a lot of things kinda at the back, be prepared for some comeing back at you sheer out of the blue. Nightmares, not scary monsters, just old memories that were not the best kind to have, they will come back, It does not last long, may not happen with you, but be prepared and relax, try to distract yourself what ever time of day or night it is, heck I made curtains at 3am 4am painted walls, had to use two hands for the paint brush because of the pain and weakness and cramps, but I did it, think colour schemes, that painting and home makeover got me through it.
Just trying to tell you things that may happen, what to prepare for so you are not thinking you are going crazy - which I have done at times with the memories and the feelings of not being quite in the right time / place. Very disconcerting it was, but did not go on for months as the cramps and weakness has done.
Ray, best advice I can give is allow the tiredness and just relax best you can, go with whatever happens along, if you can get plenty walks that would be good, distraction, gets you out and seeing different things places and people - I did kinda avoid the people, to a degree, heck I did not know / understand what was going on with me, could not get on comp because of pain, so could not research this darn withdrawal. I got cabin fever lol, my relaxation has always been walk and garden, do as much of what you do for relaxation as possible - but get fresh air into you, use your energy up to help with sleep but do it gently, and drink.
Thankyou for sharing your life with me, I listened and wish I could do more for you, please give yourself months to get off, even 1/2 mg a month if needs be towards the end, right down to a 1/4 if you would feel better going that low to get off, in the long run It is for the best, also I would say for your heart, take care with that Ray, diaz also got stored in the cells of your heart - it is a muscle yes .... so, gentle exercise is needed for it.
We are just starting winter here in the UK, ohhh how I wish I was in warm sun to walk these old bones and there darn cranky muscles !!
You look after yourself, most of all relax and don't fight what ever your body needs, you will get through all of this.
I hope I have not alarmed you with the memories and the nightmares, hope I have just prepared you -- you will be ok x
Warmest regards, hugs x
Jessie xx