So here I am 9 months later, I suffer from anxiety and depression.
A year ago I wouldnt say I was the most happiest guy in the world but I enjoyed it i was unbeatable, I was unbreakable I was content.
So on this dreadful night on easter something happened. An event that should happen to nobody but not the worst thing that's happened to me in my life. From then on I had this squirming 24/7 in my stomach headaches all the time and very high heart rate. I dismissed it as feeling down because of what happened seemed bad but nothing ridiculous. But a week went by and then 2 no different still beating myself up feeling like crap and I knew something was wrong I was not right. Until this point in my life I'd been through enough to know the pains (considering I'm only 20 now) but I never believed in mental health i dismissed it as a myth. I won't deny i just thought people were attention seeking. How wrong I was how much of a fool I was? How naive? It was at this moment I knew that I had anxiety something had clicked in my brain, I didn't even know what it was really I hadn't researched it or anything but I knew. I went to the doctors and I tried to hide it almost blame it on something else I spent 2 months on beta blockers did nothing I was a fool again I tried to fight myself and finally I asked to be put on anti depressant to treat my anxiety and at first they worked my life changing things felt better they felt good. But at that point I had little stress to worry about it had already gotten into university and I was living mostly at my friends house. My mother well she well maybe I'll talk about her impact on me another time but for now we'll just stick with she wasn't good for me. Then I started university that's when things went down hill again. Back to my hole i retreated lonely and defeated. I had my dose doubled and there was results I was managing again but this was temporary. New years eve just gone I had a really bad episode I threw up I cried and spoiled a night for my best friends. And since I've returned to uni I'm back in this deep hole where I can only hope my next trip to the doctors can sort me. It took me this long to get here and last week I admitted to myself and to my best friends that I was suffering with depression. And here I am the less that I have become the shadow of my former self that struggles with getting out of bed in a morning. Tell me I'm not alone and tell me I'm not the only one who'd give up everything I own to not be rich famous good looking or talented. Just to be normal again.
Thank you for anybody who read my short story I could of gone into many many details and maybe somebody would like to hear the things I my life.