How do you tell family/friends? How do you make them understand? Ive tried to talk them, I know ive probably been vague, not explained reasons why but I've tried so hard to make them/someone understand how I feel, that I want and need help but they just don't listen, they don't understand, people on here are great, although I wouldn't wish this anyone, it's nice to know im not alone, but just talking on here isn't always enough, I wish someone could physically be here for me but don't know how
i know i you feel family don't understand work dosnt care living everyday is hard not sure what meds you have tried but it's a mine field out their hope you have a understanding family. unfortunately my dad has no idea and my brothers are clueless i feel your pain its constant up hill struggle.
Hi, tried a few meds, nothing that has helped yet though, I have a huge family, im one of five children, have umpteen cousins, aunts, uncles, im the odd one out yet they don't know as I pretend, put on a Front, although have over the recent months tried to make them understand but it hasn't worked x
I understand what you mean! I can count on one hand how many of my family members are helpful/understanding.
My siblings refuse to accept it... Unless they need me for something.
The only person who really understands is my dad but even then I had to really emphasise that depression is an illness and you have to fix it with meds like anything else!
I'm finding that battling with people to try and make them understand I'm struggling is getting me down even more!
my 2 brothers and dad have given up on me and dont even have any contact they cant take it mefeeling like this and the seem to think they are blamless after years of living with my dad and brothers having affairs after affairs has some bearing on my mental state they think im adnormal for being faithfull to my wife i have no family and my wife has none we have a couple friends but have lost loads of friends in the past for letting them down at the last minute .but like you know when your down nothing can be done
Sometimes people will understand and others wont or will refuse to try. Sometimes it may be because they too are depressed, but I know, bevause I feel it now, that when you are so low, you think noone could ever feel worse.
I have some family members due round in a bit, who were invited by my husband, and I honestly have no idea how I'm going to be able to behave 'normal', but it has happened so often I know I have no real choice.
It is often better talking to a doctor and getting referred to a counsellor rather than expecting family to totally understand.
Hi, my family are depressed, they're all doing ok.
Aww I hope it goes ok when your family come round, know how hard it is putting on a front, is tiring x
I have a counsellor, I really struggle to talk to him though, ive been talking to the Samaritans the past few days which is great that they listen without judgment but sometimes I just want someone to physically be there for me, you know? Xx
It's horrible isn't it? Feel so isolated, like I live in a completely different world to them, theirs seems so much more appealing, if only I could be "normal" like them.
Im sorry you're struggling hope you feel better soon xxx
I do have my husband and he is understanding, but he still thinks its good for me to see people even when I really cant face it.
I'm sorry you dont have anyone. I know being on your'e own is very hard. Do keep talking to the Samaritans and your'e counsellor. Theyre only job is to help - thankfully they have no other interest other than helping peope who are depressed.
That was meant to read "my family aren't depressed"
Aww bless him, he's only what he thinks Is best, it's horrible that we have to understand and make exceptions for others when all we want is understanding ourselves x
Samaritans only really lend an ear, which is nice but would be better if they could actually give advice because I struggle so much to talk to my counsellor, feel like I'm wasting his and my time but I don't want to give up on it just yet xx
I often wish they'd swap with me just for a day! To have different moods and different feelings all day.. And to feel so low and helpless!
From one of your previous posts it prompted me to email Samaritans. It helped, I felt like I sent a lot and got a lot off my chest but then on the other hand I still feel like I can't get my feelings across! But thank you for the courage to email them
Me too, although wouldn't like to see them going through it, just for them to understand Would be ok.
Aww im glad you could email them, I text them, think maybe is a quicker response.
But I know what you mean, they're only really there to listen, not to advise but it's nice to have someone to listen to me even if they're a stranger and don't know me x
Hi Donna I only have 3 sisters left. I told them all I am suffering from depression. The middle one seems embarrassed and doesn't know what to say, the eldest one starts talking about her real and imagined illnesses and the youngest said 'What have you got to be depressed about?'. I don't mention it now. My closest friends are very busy with their families so I don't see them much. I have no one who cares and who I can talk to either. I only gave here, Thankgoodness for here hey?
Hi Donna I only have 3 sisters left. I told them all I am suffering from depression. The middle one seems embarrassed and doesn't know what to say, the eldest one starts talking about her real and imagined illnesses and the youngest said 'What have you got to be depressed about?'. I don't mention it now. My closest friends are very busy with their families so I don't see them much. I have no one who cares and who I can talk to either. I only have here, Thank goodness for here hey?
Yes, it is tough to put on an act. Sometimes it helps - not always. I did find that tonights family meal went really well - met up with a cousin who I havent seen for years, and me and my sis and husband all got on really well, and shared some family history and 'secrets' which were really interesting. And we also had a pretty good laugh.
So, socialising can help. I think I instinctively know when it just totally wont work, and when I've felt like that I've just baled out and gone off on my own before anyone arrives. But occassionally I stick it out and it works.
Aww really happy that tonight went ok for you, And yes I know what you mean but I don't do socialising anymore, realised my friends aren't friends they're or were just drinking buddies, don't want to know unless I'm out and being happy which ive forgotten how to do lately so not heard from anyone for a while now xx
Thanks Dondons. I hardly every socialize, and find it hard, especially as I dont drink anymore. I did but it became a real problem for me, so I had to stop. So while other people are drinking around me its hard. I know what you mean about some friends just being drinking buddies.
When you have to stop drinking, you often wonder what on earth you are going to do to replace it.
Finding other people who have had similar problems does help, as with other reasons for feeling bad about things.
