I have just turned 40yrs old and have been told I need a full hip replacement, I have already have AS so am considerable pain every day anyway. I am beyond terrified of the hip replacement, I have two young children and can not imagine how I am going to cope....
My mother had both her hips replaced, and after watching her go through such terrible pain, and then one of them went wrong, I am just so frightened of the prospect of this happening to me, and I have so many commitments and things to contend with. I don't know how I will manage.
I can barely walk, I am in constant pain and haven't slept in months as the pain keeps waking me up. I live in fear of it getting any worse as I am now struggling getting in and out of the car, up the stairs. And I cry myself to sleep because I am too scared to talk about it to anyone even my husband. I am becoming so deeply sad and feel like I am carrying this huge pressure by myself and I don't know how to ask or talk about it. I am literally too scared to speak. No one seems to even notice how much pain I am in...and if they do they don't seem to care. What can they do anyway to help me..no one can change this.
What on earth should I do? I am sorry to be so upset, but I am really struggling to function... (
You hip doesn't care about your life, your children, your responsibilities, your family etc. You can't continue as you are. Admit that you have to have it done then follow through. Whereas your mother had a difficult time that doesn't mean you will. Quit making that association. You should focus your attention on working to find the very best doctors and then go get it done.
Find the right doctors then just try not to focus on it until right before hand. Fear feeds on fear, fear will eat you up, don't let it. Be stronger. Think of the literally MILLIONS of people who have Hip Replacemeents every year, we all get through it and the far far far majority go on to a better life with no complications. You have a consious ability to control what you think, think positive, think better, think of the things you WILL be able to do, don't go to the Dark Place in your mind. Think Positive.
Hi Rose , so sorry you are so distressed , it is scary but you are young and that is on your side for a good recovery . When the time comes you just need to take it a day at a time . I had mine done right in the middle of lambing time so my two kids just had to get on with things , very frustrating but the relief you will get from pain will be worth it . It would really help if you could bite the bullet and have a chat with your GP or a practice nurse ,I find them very nice . I too find it very hard to talk about things . Have you been put on the list yet ? I had my two done together and wondered how the heck I would do it but the thought of no pain helped me , please feel free to have good moan on here , its been a great help to me , I really feel for you , kind regards , Ruth
I have seen the surgeon and he said to leave it as long as I can bear it, and when I am ready he will do it. Already it is worse and I only saw him 5 weeks ago! I sound like a complete derpressive on here, but I am not in reality. I am the person everyone calls cheerful, relentlessly energetic and fun but inside my heart is breaking. I am scared to leave my children, scared I will never walk again if it goes wrong.
Thank you so much for all of your replies. I am now not feeling so alone. I know I need to do it. I am a positive person about everything else, except for this one thing.
On a practical level how bad does bad need to be? I am not sure how unbearable it needs to be before I should have the operation. How far along before you HAVE to do it. At the moment, I can still walk short distances obviously it is painful but I can do it, getting in and out of the car is nothing short of agony as is trying to sleep ~ getting on and off the sofa is proving very difficult. The surgeon said I should try and drag it out as long as I can...but didn't specify at what point I should?? I wonder if anyone has any good advice...
Hello Rosie. I am guessing your mum had it done a while ago and medical science has moved on a pace and much more efficient. Who would have thought we wood have spinal blocks instead of generals. I am 66 and had mine done just over 6 weeks ago. All going according to plan as far as the medics are concerned. Have my follow up on May 12th and hope all restrictions will be lifted. At your age recovery will be faster. Try not to worry post op pain less than what you have now. You will cope
Hiya, welcome to the forum where you will receive so much support and advice from many.
Its perfectly understandable how you feel and emotional through what you are going through and experiencing because it is a big event in ones life and health.
From my experience (am 53, had so many sport injuries over the years and treatment but I was extremely nervous about my TLHR 8 weeks ago) that the pain I had drove me to have the operation as my quality of life was getting worse by the day. So there were many things I couldn't or do very well. I explained this to my wife that it was not possible to do a whole list of things and that I had to look after myself more just to get through a day. There was no other choice and she and anyone else had to accept this. Their response was marvelous , great support, along with this forum and now so much better than pre op.
Others no doubt will suggest different ways for you to approach this but all wish you well. If you don't mind me suggesting, have some quite time with your husband first and over a brew talk to him about how you feel, the discomfort and if you intend to have the operation. Really try a heart to heart chat and he should then understand and support you. You must not bottle this up, open your heart to him. Talking is the best therapy and way forward, go for it.
My thoughts and best wishes to you and keep on talking on this site.
Rose, I am 77 and had my left hip done just over 2 weeks ago. My advice would be to get it don ASAP. Life is to short to spend some of it in agony as you are doing. Remember you are years younger than your Mum, will heal faster, and just because it went wrong once for her does not mean it will for you. You never know what life is going to hit you with, get as much enjoyment as you can out of every day, be blowed to spending precious time in pain. Yes the aftermath of the op can be painful, that's why they give you painkillers, and you will have low days, I did, but the rewards will be tremendous. The people on here are marvellous at picking you up when you are down.
Thank you so much Ann, I am so pleased your operation went well, what a relief it must be. My poor Mama is not in a good way, she had both done around three years ago and is still unable to walk. It is very hard for me to watch her and not feel sad, I guess I have lost some confidence in the result of the operation. I know it is unlikely mine will go wrong, but I am still worried. I will have to be courageous and at some point move forward. I am getting so tired...
Thank you so much Kevin for your reply, by the sound of it, you had exactly the same worries that I have. It is a beautiful day outside and I can't take my children anywhere. It is heartbreaking. I want to play with them but can't get to the floor, and definitely can't get back up if I were to make it there, and every day that passes I feel like a terrible parent wasting such precious time.
I will speak to my husband when he comes back, I will ask him to help me.
Hi Rose , of course you will walk ,probably RUN !! Sounds to me the sooner you get it done the better , the longer you think about it the harder it will get . You sound in great pain now and I dont think I was as bad as you when I had my two done , enough is eough no more pain . Try and be your cheerful , energetic self and some real positive thinking , keep coming on here , we all want you to get through this . Also chidren are very tough and will adapt to a situation really well , think of the fun you will have with them when it's all over . Please kep us posted from start to finish , all the best , Ruth
Thoughts and best wishes to you. Yep, had a very rough time before bu I felt great relief that first night after my op as for starters no back ache or shooting pains through groin, knee and ankle. Then, day by day that pain did not return so it was much easier to deal with the discomfort of the op. if ou would like anymore specific info about the op, post op experiences etc then ask away. But I d feel for you on this sunny day that its so difficult for you with your family. Keep chin up.
this forum is fantastic for support and advice and the op is genuinely life changing - for the better. Until you are no longer in pain you dont realise how much pain you were in, have the op asap and you will be out and about with your children very soon after. check out the surgeons available to you ,you can do this via the choose and book system and believe me you will be absolutely fine
Valerie thank you for you reply. What is a choose and book system? Are you able to check how good the surgeon is? I was recommended my surgeon through my rheumatologist, but he was quite flippant about the operation (he does it day in and day out so is no doubt a little indifferent) he also said I could have the injections to try and help the inflammation. I am trying to find out if the injections work...
It has been such a blessing to come on here and speak about it, which up to now I haven't even been able to admit to myself, much less anyone else just how difficult things have become. It seems to be easier for me to pretend I am fine and keep going and going......hoping it will miraclously disappear. If I am being honest Ruth I am embarraseed being in this terrible way when all of my friends are so beautitful and fit and active. I feel so wretched turning down every party, every event, because of the pain I know I will be in. I am sure every woman in this position feels the same.
I hope I can run one day. I would LOVE to run and be able to do all the things I used to do....I will call the doctor tomorrow.
Is it normal for the other hip to he hurting so much as well? My ankles are and back everything seems to be hurting me.
Have you tried the steroid shots. I had three over a year. I have been in the worst pain known to man. Was up to eight Dihydrocodeine pills a day. Walking like a cripple and no sleep. Cannot find a pain free position. Two months ago I lost my job because of it. On March 4th I saw my surgeon who said no more waiting
I am 48. I have been harassing the schedulers who said July. Finally they caved in. I have my left hip replacement tomorrow.
The pain will only get worse especially without the steroid shots. By the way each one lasts less and less and you can only have three a year.
Bite the bullet and get it done ASAP
Don't get me wrong I am scared but whatever happens cannot be as awful as this 24/7 pain
Good luck
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I also couldn't ever see myself walking again in fact I was prepared to die on the operating table. I didn't want to, but if that's what happened then I had accepted it. I am only 58yrs with 2 lovely children and 4 gorgeous grandchildren so far, so I have everything to live for and a job I love. However I was in so much pain that for the month before my op I was in a wheelchair, couldn't stand without terrible pain in my left leg and back. I couldn't even get dressed some days and it was an effort to get a drink or something to eat (I live alone). My osteo arthritis deteriorated very quickly in my right leg that it would not bear my weight at all and just gave way, I only weigh 9 stone. I was on so much medication I became anaemic.
I had a left thr 14 weeks ago and now I can walk, even run, work do everything, well almost lol ! I have got my life back.
You are completely normal in how you are feeling, my mother also had both her hips replaced , dislocated one of them and they both needed doing again, but she didn't have them done as felt she was too old and died 2 years ago not being able to move at all. As someone else has already said, everyone is different and it doesn't mean because your mother had a problem with her replacement, you will also. As you are younger it's better for you. My gp told me I could have stronger pain meds and not op but then I went back again and he immediately put me forwards for op, so go back and see your gp. If your health is affecting your life so badly then you need to something about it.