Terrified

Women's health
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I don’t even know if this is where I should be posting. Nevertheless, I’m in serious need of support and advice. I’m 40 years-old and think that I may be in perimenopuse, although I can’t find anyone on the internet whose symptoms are/were like mine, which has made me feel even more alone. Toward the end of July of this year, I started experiencing an increase in panic attacks. These weren’t like the panic attacks I was used to, they were much more intense, and lasted much longer and came more frequently. So I decided to take a leave from work to get myself together. Since then I have been deteriorating severely both mentally and physically. I’m absolutely terrified, I’ve hardly eaten anything over the past almost 3 months, which has resulted in a 31 lb weight loss, my sleep is horrible, I can hardly get out of bed, when I stand up my body is extremely heavy and my heart rate increases to 180bpm and sometimes higher, I keep having intense anxiety like feelings in the more, I feel like I’m losing touch with reality and that I will never be the same again. It’s just me and my 18 year-old daughter, I been to the ER (A&E) about 90 times since July and I keep being told that there’s nothing wrong with me. If that’s the case, why do I feel so horrible and like I’m dying and losing touch with reality. I have horrible stomach issues, no bowel movements (more then likely do to not eating, over the past almost 3 months I’ve consumed maybe 1200 calories, I have zero appetite and no doctor see this as a problem). My skin gets really itchy, I have numbness and tingling all over my body, I also have a warm sensation in the back of my left thigh at times, my breast sometimes hurt, as stated before my sleep is horrible, extremely fragmented, intense vivid dreams, unrefreshing, and I sometimes feel horrible sensations throughout my body which wakes me up, and sever apathy and anxiety upon waking up that stays with me all day. Please, is there anyone who can relate? My most troubling symptoms are the terrifying psychological symptoms that make me feel like I’m losing touch with reality and going to go crazy, it’s a constant nonstop doom feeling..Any advice would be appreciated, I’ve had numerous tests done, I’m not on any meds of any kind. I’m so scared and the medical establishment has not helped me, could this be perimenopause?

-Colibri

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Hi Colibri

I can related to this somewhat. I am 50 and post menopausal and only started with symptoms like yours this year. What you are describing is hugely related to anxiety and panic, including the physical symptoms so please try and remember that next time you are spiralling. The bodies response to anxiety/panic can be extremely overwhelming and the list of symptoms it can create is mind boggling. My mother went through EXACTLY the same as you are experiencing in peri including A&E trips as she was convinced there was something seriously wrong with her. I know it’s very easy for someone to tell you this and another thing to accept it. For her this came out of the blue as she’d never experienced panic nor anxiety prior so she was sky high.

I myself have a long history with panic and anxiety disorder and I can tell you that all the symptoms you are describing I have been there and worn the tshirt. I too have been to A&E convinced I’m dying, stopped eating, been housebound, unable to function, no sleep etc etc. And it is a living hell and terrifying so I have utmost sympathy for you. For me what helped was anti depressants. Until this year when it reared it’s ugly head again and I am trying HRT to find the right combo for me, I’m not there yet but it is maneagle (just). You WILL get better, I absolutely promise you but you might not be able to do this on your own and I honestly think you might need to try some medication at this point so please don’t be scared of it. I was too but it has honeslty saved my life.

The second thing I wanted to say is make an appointment at your GP to discuss HRT as if this is hormone related it WILL help. As we reach a certain age our hormones decline and unfortunately for some of us, especially if you have experienced anxiety prior it re emerges. Please see your GP and talk to them about all of this, tell them you can’t cope and you need help mentally, life is too short to try do this on your own.

Louise

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Hi, just putting it out there , i have these exact symptoms, but I was 37 when diagnosed with EUPD ( emotionally unstable personality disorder) every one of you symptoms describe myself. Your best port of call is your GP. Im on mood stabilisers , sleeping pills and anxiety pills. It helps alot but its no cure.

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Sounds like health anxiety which I have, came out of nowhere :frowning:

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I suffered a major depressive episode with peri menopause when I was 40. I was triggering fight and flight stress responses due to a high stress work environment. What I learned about perimenopause is that estrogen levels drop in the brain. When estrogen drops, serotonin production also drops. Serotonin is essential to mood stability. The worst possible combination of dropping serotonin is chronic stress triggering the release of cortisol, the stress hormone which further depressed seroton.

I experienced increasingly severe physical symptoms…daily chronic pain, chronic insomnia, chronic indigestion, high levels of anxiety, feeling like I was dying, being exhausted yet I would be wide awake when I tried to sleep and eventually hallucinations. Even my doctor asked me “What are you doing to yourself?”. He was concerned because he did not know why I was getting worse even though all my tests were normal. He prescribed anti-depressants but I did not take them correctly because my thoughts were so muddled I couldn’t follow basic directions. I kept trying to push through the pain and work. After a month of insomnia, my short term memory disappeared….a very scary experience. I remember looking at a list of 20 items on a to-do list. I picked the task of highest priority and turned to start the task. I forgot what I was supposed to be doing and looked back at the list. I spotted the task “Oh, yeah, that’s what I’m doing”. I turned and forgot the task a second time. I did the same thing for a third time. By the weekend, I was in the psych ward. I was put on an anti-psychotic and tranquillizers. My doctor had asked a very important question. At the time, such a question seemed judgemental but I was the one judging myself.

When I came out of hospital, I had to rebuild my life. I did not feel sad. I felt nothing. I had no needs other people had needs. My libido was non-existent and I seemed to just go through the motions with no joy or self-esteem. I tried to figure out what had happened and why. I learned that depression is a survival adaptation that our brain powers down to impulse power when conditions are very tough. I also learned that perimenopause drops hormone levels in the brain. Some women are not affected by this change but in others, this hormonal change triggers major depression. I met another woman who was also recovering from depression. She told me that many of her friend were high achievers and seem to hit a wall when they hit their 40s and spiral into depression. She thought it might be hormonal. I asked a gynecologist friend about this and she said “Oh yes. If I prescribe HRT or low dose testosterone, 2/3rds of my patients suffering from depression have their depression disappear.” Since I was suffering from non-existent libido, she suggested low dose testosterone which she told me was more effective for low libido than HRT. I have taken Andriol 40 mg. 1 per day x 6 days per week for the last 20 yrs. In my case, low dose Testosterone was far more effective than anti-depressants for my depression. An added bonus for me was remission of 20 yrs of chronic fibromyalgia pain. If your symptoms are hormonal in origin, may be worth testing estrogen, progesterine and cortisol (stress hormone) to see what your levels are. Testosterone occurs naturally in both men and women’s brains.

In the last few years, I have completely changed my diet eliminating ultra-processed foods and seed oils, reducing sugar and refined carbohydrates, eating grass fed beef & eggs. I also did testing wiht a naturopath for nutrition. I added B complex, NAC, choline, zinc, magnesium, Omega-3vand low dose lithium (5 mg) all of which are good for brain function. Magnesium lowers anxiety and lithium elevates mood and lowers risk of dementia (in areas that have lithium in the soil and water, depression and suicide rates are far lower and dementia is non-existent). I recently lowered grains and that seems to be a biggie. I have been able to go off the testosterone. I noticed that my skin was breaking out like a teenager this summer (kinda unusual for a 64 yr old) so I figured my body was getting too much testosterone. Would recommend George Ede, MD’s book Change Your diet Change Your Mind.

I learned over years of chronic pain to see my health as a journey. We are all looking for answers that improve our quality of life. Doctors are largely focused on acute care (a broken arm or a fever) but don’t do so well on chronic problems. Patients need to look for their own answers. Helpful to look at everything the whole enchillada….diet, medications, stress, environmental toxins like mold, exercise. Take care.

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Hello

Thanks for sharing, and I’m happy to hear that you doing better after your diagnosis.

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Hey, thank you for such a detailed reply and for sharing your story with me. I’m not doing well, and it’s nice to hear stories of people who can relate, getting better and finding relief.

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Hello

Maybe,nits health anxiety, but why is it so physical? I feel these symptoms all day everyday.

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Louise

Thank you for such a detailed response and for sharing your past struggles, it was very nice of you and I felt a little better after reading your message.

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That’s what anxiety does, different physical symptoms which if you’re like me you fear are terminal illnesses all the time, it’s exhausting :frowning:

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I was certainly amazed at how intense the physical symptoms were. It’s as though the brain was trying to send a message to get me to stop doing what I was doing. In my case, triggering the stress response multiple times a day. The stress response is easily triggered by a panic attack, or even worry. What this does is elevate cortisol, a stress hormone to make your brain hyper-alert and directs energy to your muscles away from your gut so you can fight or run away from a life and death situation (meeting a tiger in the jungle). The stress response is a survival adaptation that allows one to handle a life and death situtation. Problems arise when we trigger stress responses to often to non-emergency, stressful situations. (ie. someone cuts you off in traffic or you have a heated argument)

Some stress is positive. Cortisol wakes us up in the morning so we can get going. In excess, it can trigger all kinds of symptoms. When one triggers a stress response, unless you calm the brain down within 20 minutes by deep breathing or meditation, your brain remains hyper-alert for hours (learned this from Ely Bay, a meditation and stress expert). Triggering the stress responses multiple times a day and your brain can stay hyperalert for days at a time disturbing sleep. If you’re having lousy sleep, you’re tired often doubling down on coffee….big mistake (did that one too). Dr. Posen, a stress councillor called coffee “Stress in a cup” due to it’s ability to raise cortisol. In the short term, your brain is sharper. Caffeine stays in your system up to 8 hrs (even longer if you’re on hormone therapy) and can prevent your brain from going into deep sleep. During deep sleep that happens in the 1st two sleep cycles, all your muscles relax, tissue is repaired and your immune system is recharged.

From what you describe of panic attacks and your heart rate going to 180 bpm, I believe you are triggering a stress response. Would try deep breathing or meditation when you experience these episodes. A walk in nature is another highly effective way of calming a stress response. Exercise also helps to burn off excess cortisol. Lots of meditation videos are available on YouTube. The chair by the Honest Guys is a good one. If you lie on your back, you will automatically start breathing deeply into the diaphram (shallow breathing your lungs rise, deep breathing your tummy rises.). Deep breathing sends a signal to the brain that everything is fine so no emergency response needed. Dr. Stephen Sideroff and Dr. David Posen both have practical tips on stress management. It’s something our society doesn’t really teach….listening to your body and learning to calm these systems. Dr. Posen was a GP who went into Stress Management after hearing a lecture about stress to the point of distress and its link to many physical ailments given by an early pioneer of stress science, Dr. Seleyne. Not surprising that the big sellers in the drug store are antacids/constipation meds (GI tract registers stress instantly), pain meds for headaches & muscle pain (poor sleep & elevated cortisol), cold remedies (depressed immune system).

Glad to hear you are getting better and finding some relief. I know I go into a quite a bit of detail here as one needs to understand how these systems work. Took me quite a bit of reading to learn these things. Hopefully, something here may be helpful. I also found I needed to adjust my priorites a bit too….less perfectionism, less rescuing others, and being more in touch with my own needs vs. trying to be eveyone’s mom. As a society, we need to learn to listen to our bodies and realize that we are not machines.

Take care.

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Hi Colibri!
I also went through menopause with different symptoms, until today. I felt like my internal organs were shaking and I couldn’t stop. My doctor then prescribed Clonazepan tablets, 1.5 tablets a day, which I still take today. I also had panic attacks, but half a tablet of Clonazepan helped with that too, and even solved the rapid heartbeat…
Not everyone has the same menopause symptoms, and unfortunately they don’t go away..
Try talking to your doctor about this medication, maybe it will help.

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Totally relate, literally thought I was going crazy. Lots of similar symptoms. Find a good female GP, and take a list of symptoms with you. My male GP put me on antidepressants & didn’t understand at all. Saw a female GP & we started trialling her suggestion of different hrt tablets. I tried quite a few HRT medications, before finally settling with Tibolone or also known as Livial. It’s a natural hrt - the only one that was good for me. You have to be patient & give them time to work. Do your homework & be kind to yourself. Good luck, you will get better! X

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