I have been told by a recent partner, that they have been told by one of their recent partners that they may have herpes. A visual exam by a dr who said it probably is. He is awaiting results. As is she as she had something down there but was unsure.
Now I do not have any symptoms. She was also not showing any at the time and the possible sore only showed up 4 days ago (9 Days after we had sex).
Stupidly I didn't use a condom.
I have an ongoing casual relationship in which we use protection but not for oral, I need to tell her about all of this but I'm worried it may be pointless if I'm clean.
But now, after reading 1 million things, I may never know. Also, loads of people already have it and don't know.
How am I supposed to move on with life if I don't know??
It's only been 3 days and I'm an absolute wreck.
WTF can I do? I'm going to demand a blood test in the hope I'm one of the small percentage that come back negative, and even if it comes back positive I may not even have it.
How is this the case. Why is there no solution. No wonder this thing is the most common STI.
Not sure what anyone can say to this.
Hi
Your story has lots of ifs, buts and maybes in it. My impression is that whilst there's achance you hav it you probabley dont.
HSV is very contageous during an outbreak by any skin to skin contact including oral sex.
Condoms only reduce the transmission rate by about 30% so proabley wouldn't make a difference. Stop beating yourself up about that one. (I picked up my genital HSV2 despite using a condom)
But the transmission rate between outbreaks is very low, so I think you've dodged it.
My recommendations would be:
Dont bother getting a blood test. Even the good ones (IGG) take 3-6 months to show positive.
Have the conversation with your partner becuase informed consent is important and they will respect you for fronting up. But you can reasonabley say to them that the risk is low.
Be vigilant for anything that could be a first outbreak.
Discontinue sex at the first sign of trouble and get it swabbed same day if possible.
Finally - get some perspective. Even if in the worst case you do have Herpes its not the end of the world. Lots of people, including me, are walking around with it and having happy fulfilling lives, including sex lives.
Best of luck to you