I think serious stress is at the root of many if not all PMR diagnoses--I know it's true in my own case. I'm trying to deal with stress as I engage in slow, slow reductions of pred, but it's extremely difficult. The stress is largely caused because I am becoming poverty-stricken resulting from a severely, clinically depressed grown-up child quitting her job and moving in with me. She is unable even to look for a job and obviously has no income to contribute to the household. It's a tough one, at my age of 85.
Any others out there struggling with massive stress underlying PMR?
Barbara, I feel so sorry for you in this situation. My view would be that, though it may not be established if stress can cause a particular condition, it cartainly can aggrevate it - so it won't help your PMR. Can you talk to your GP about what's best to do for your daughter as you DO NOT have to manage it alone. There a various Depression Awareness/help groups and most of them ALSO have support meetings/groups for the family and partners of those with the condition and the're hugely helpful - and free. But do talk to your doctor also. Kind regards.
Heavens Barbara, what a situation to be in. I don't know if stress causes PMR but it definitely doesn't help the condition. What help is your daughter getting medically? I ask because if she is being medically cared for then her symptoms should to some degree be controlled.
It is totally wrong that you should have all this additional stress and worry to deal with, I don't know but I assume she doesn't understand that. I know she is your daughter but I'm afraid that if your health is compromised by her illness then something is not right. Why should she get better at the expense of your health and recovery. She needs to seek help for her condition, so needs to see her GP, etc and seek recovery herself. Heavens I must sound like a bitch, but I would never have put my mother through such stress. Have you spoken with her about your fears and condition? And if so what is her reply. Regards, christina
It is almost always a factor - recent or earlier and long-standing.
I do hope you can sort this out soon - because otherwise both of you run the risk of being dragged down - and I do have some sympathy since I too have a daughter whose mental state sometimes leaves a bit to be desired. She has PTSD from too many episodes watching her own daughter circling the drain in resus because of severe asthma that the doctors (her own colleagues) weren't dealing with adequately.
However - being rather horrid people we fled the country to stop our offspring moving back in with us. And she was so proud she would not tell us about her really bad period - it might have been better value for money if she had done so and then she might not have had such a credit card debt.
But seriously - is there no option for you to get some assistance. Do try to look after yourself - I really do appreciate some of your problems, and hers.
Sorry about your delema. Is there any other family members who can help. That would help relieve the burden. Good luck!
Thanks very much, everybody, for your helpful posts here. They mean a lot. By the way, I'm not sure where I'm supposed to reply, as I'm doing now, to persons who have posted in response to a post of my own.
If the above question makes any sense, let me know, okay? And thanks again--
Hi Barbara, you have answered correctly. If at any time you wish to join in on your own thread you simply click on the reply button of whoever you wish to reply to. All the best with your situation, I really do hope it resolves itself soon with both of you getting better. Christina
It used to be you just added your latest contribution to the end of the conversation so it was all in order of comment. Then they added the "interruption" idea which means you have the option of sticking something in the middle. Personally I think it is confusing but hey-ho.
What you've done is perfectly OK - and I think everyone will see it wherever it was put. As well as replying to each individual person you can also reply to yourself now so you can add to a comment of your own.
All the very best from me to - I hope it clears and and sun comes out very soon
Oh Barbara, so sorry to hear of you and your daughter's plight. I agree with you 120%, chronic stress (out of my control) definitely was the biggest factor or the only factor in my PMR and when I was diagnosed with ME/CFS 14 years ago it was chronic stress then. Take care and good luck. Pat
I think Pat's latest reply is most instructive. She uses the phrase "out of my control" in describing the horrendous stress which underlay her getting PMR.
A therapist used the phrase "helplessness" to describe the out-of-control misery, when no way is possible for dealing with bigtime stress.
Thanks, Christina. Ummm, where IS the reply button?
Hi Barbara, the reply button is the button in the bottom right hand corner that says reply to.... It is grey and when clicked turns green. All the best, christina
I believe that a major stress contributed to the development of my PMR - that, and a very nasty virus that lasted over 8 weeks earlier in the year.
I'm discovering that since developing PMR I really CAN'T deal with stress at all any more, and I used to thrive on it. This has meant that I have had to learn to tell my four daughters to fight their own battles and leave me out of their personal dramas (although sometimes it's unavoidable like yours, Barbara).
I have also learnt to disengage from the crap at work.
When I do get stressed I crash very quickly both mentally and physically.
Yes, me too, although already having ME/Fibromyalgia, when I got PMR, my niece who has Bi-polar/personality problems had and still does depend on me...but I now limit it to phone calls only (very draining) she has cut her wrists twice in the past.....and frequently tells me, I`m the only one she can talk to....no pressure on me then!!.(her mother died 2 years ago)...so I feel trapped, even though she has mental health workers going round, she tells them what they want to hear, so she`s not hospitalised.....She knows this has made me ill, but herself dosen`t realise how much I am struggling. Don`t allow yourself to be dragged into her problems, however harsh this may sound....because she will be consumed with herself.....
I am struggling with lowering pred....I`m only just able to go out of the house because of being stuck with blurred vision etc...and the stress definitely made this worse......look after yourself, to be able to help her in the future.....Good Luck.