The start of citalopram

Treatment and medication
1

Hello everyone

I am new to this, and firstly just want to say how happy I am for finding this site….after reading a couple of your experiences I burst into tears as I now truly believe I am not suffering alone.

I started to type out my whole story and where I think all my problems started, got halfway through and my laptop ran out of power, gutted!

Anyway I’ll explain a little how Im feeling now instead of telling the whole story:

Im a 24 year old girl who has never given depression a second thought in my life, until this month. I have started a course (14days) worth of citalopram today (26th September) at about 9.30am this morning and thought it would be a good idea to monitor my experiences and share them with you guys.

I recently have had a major episode of depression, I basically hit rock bottom 3 weeks ago and lost sense of reality for about 2 days. I now realise there has been a big build up towards this and feel better knowing that I have a problem, whereas before the scariest part was not knowing.

Ive lost nearly all my confidence, Ive had panic attacks, fear & anxiety, trouble sleeping, I can’t concentrate properly, my mind drifts and my thoughts race through my head. I’m struggling to talk and hold a conversation, I cant socialise and I find it hard to leave my house. My moods are up and down. I’ve had suicide thoughts (when I was having the panic attacks….and when Im feeling so low that Im scared I will never get better). It’s the feeling of being alone that is the worst.

My parents have been brilliant throughout this and without them I feel like I have nothing. Im not working because of it and Im taking everyday as it comes. I feel I have to tell my mum and dad how Im feeling throughout the day as I don’t want to push myself into doing anything Im not comfortable with.

I felt a bit anxious earlier, so Ive not left the house today. I just feel like laying on the sofa and watching telly.

Im already on sleeping pills, and have been for 3 weeks. I have felt more positive as the weeks has gone by but I still have down days which knock my confidence. I know I will get through this, its just understanding that it will take time and hopefully the antidepressants will give me the push I need.

I hope this has helped some of you, just remember your not alone.

x

2

Hello

After reading your experience I thought I would have a go as well. I have been on citalopram for nearly 3 weeks, and have been off work for 3 weeks as well. I went to the doctors with headaches, feeling very low, tired, not really wanting to go out or see anyone, making mistakes at work and have no confidence. After 3 weeks I still dont want to go back to work, I imagine being there and feel I couldnt cope with the job which I have always found stressful. Some days are a bit better than others, but some, like today, I got up had breakfast and went straight back to bed til 2.45pm, then just laid on sofa watching tv, and thats all I want to do most of the time. I dont seem to have any energy most of the time and seem to have a contant headache and all I want to do is lay down. I just want to feel well enough to go out to work and earn some money as I live on my own and have all my own bills to pay which is another worry, but dont feel I can go to work or even find another job. Will it ever end and will I ever feel happy and contented. Cheers

3

Hi there Rose2

Is it not time the government accepted that we are human?

Take the time off that you need to recover from this illness - YES illness.

If you had a broken leg would they not accept you are unable to work?

There are so many people who fake bad backs, pain etc and receive all the help on offer yet as it stands we as depressives have to prove our illness for at least 12 months before accepted on the disabilty register. We are expected to suffer in silence.

Stand up, be proud of who you are and accept your illness with no shame.

We have rights too - we are human afterall.

Melbi x

pee'd off with how society treats depressive illness

4

Hey everyone

Its been almost 2 weeks from starting the medication and I am really feeling better. My moods have been stable, I have had no bad anxiety/panic attacks, I have been able to think more positively (also from the help of a homecare team), I am able to get out of the house more - see friends, I smile more, and even laugh. The good days are defanately outweighing the bad, whereas before it was visa versa.

I still have a long way to go and am seeking professional help, and I am so lucky to have a strong support network of family and friends. One positive outcome from this experience is that it has helped me become closer to my parents and it has improved our relationship.

Don't get me wrong I still have bad days, and moments where I just burst out crying - but I find its easier to talk about it and you should never feel embarressed or ashamed (as I did before). My main problem now is that I still struggle getting to sleep, but it is still early days and until I feel 100% I think it will take time. I now also need to work on my self-esteem and confidence, which is the next step.

I hope my story/experience helps and gives anyone out there some faith. Stay strong. x x x

5

Hi all, Im new to all this too, Im so happy I've found this site, I dont feel like a crazy person!!!

Ive had depression for over 10 years, and thought badly of it, I never went to get help as thought a pill would never be able to me feel better and didnt realise that it was illness not madness.

I hit rock bottom last week and decided enough was enough and went to see my doctor, who has been fab! He's put me on citalopram, its only my second day, but I do feel better just for asking for help. My boss has been amazing and given me a week off to get used to everything, which was very unexpected, after explaining to him what was wrong with me, all my wierd behavior just seemed to slip into place to him, someone actually understood!! It's amazing how much has opened up since I've started being honest with people and opened up to my problem. So heres to the road of recovery! I hope other people see all this and realise that thier are NOT crazy, or alone, there IS hope and all these feelings really symptoms of an illness and nothing to be ashamed of!

Love and peace to you all xxx

6

I too have been in denial for years, pretending that the depression was just my version of normal and the more acute bouts something I should just face and hang on through. Because I could retain functioning I thought it wsn't bad enough to seek help. recent events have pushed me further and made me seek help - I started on Citalopram yesterday, and just hope it is the right med for me because I don't fancy a long drawn out try this then that etc.

Now I am being open it is a huge release, i feel like telling everyone 'My name is Helen and I am depressed, and not ashamed of being ill' The black times though have been worse than any before.

Cheers