The bleeding, the pain, the surgeries....I see alot of this talk on here. I can't be alone with the other things I am not seeing discussed. A friend, a close friend who knows about my situation covered for me the other day as to why I was sitting in a specific chair. I felt embarrassed that this had to happen.
How about the constant embarrassment when I get to the bathroom and see what I see in my underwear no matter how clean I think I am when I leave after a bowel movement.
Going out with friends ... Why do you always get wings you use to love the pizza here? It's such a constant battle. I'd give anything to look at a plate of lasagna again and not think about the pain.
The smell. Not from the the situation itself but from the ointment. I mean seriously, it sometimes smells worse than what comes out of there. Sure, instant relief but some days it feels like a trade off.
Do I think what I am talking about trumps the medical, by no means. I'm lucky to even be able to have a bowel movement after what I've been through to get me here. Sometimes the pain is a reminder of what I've endured to be able to do what I do today, but sometimes it's just that, pain. And it's a pain in the.... You all know the pun.
I just pray everyday for a pill that says take this, it will all go away. The pain, the lies, the cover stories, the embarrassment, the smell, all of it. I may never be on here again. I may go on to forget I even posted this.
I just wanted yall to know, you're not the only one. Someone, someone you may even know is dealing with this as well. Going through the same issues. Stay strong. Seek help. And don't give up.