Hi well dunno were to start tbh. This is the first time ive done this, ive googled over the years and spoke to one CBT therapist when i was in prison a few years ago which diddnt help atall. Somehow keeping journals and dates and stuff dosent change my mindset and the way i am as a person now if that makes sense. I have had this since one day all of a sudden at the age of 19 as back then i smoked weed and one day walking home i just felt really really WEIRD almost like i couldnt look at people in the eyes anymore so i instantly STOPPED smoking it as it scared me off it but evwr since then i jave just blocked it out and tryed to get on with my life as normal as possible but now i feel some really crazy symptoms. (If it is anxiety who knows if i really do have that). All around my mouth always feels tense i feel like if i smile showing teeth i am almpst pulling a weird face and not smiling. My eyes are always heavy looking and feels like my eyes are almost bulging out. Getting some weird habits to do with my throat like crackling it sort of. And my nose always feels like i have to scrunch it about to loosen it up sort of it that makes sense... i am almost certain i have anxiety tho as i feel really nervous at times for no apparant reason whatsoever and my mind goes blabk and all i can help thinking is i need to walk out the room to be on myvown for a moment tobhave a breather and hope nobody is noticing. Its drained me over the years so much and i have just realised i cannot spend rlthe rest of my life this way. Id rather die then carry on like this.. i feel like my looks are changing i almost dont evan look the same person anymore . Was always a nice looking guy and i look so strange now. Just want an idea on what to do an what to say as GPs just sling anti depressents at you dor everything... my biggest problem lies with my eyes to do with it all. Why cant i look people in the eyes for long without having to look away before i freak out... gets me so angry how i aint in control of my own mind/body. Please help somebody. I have a son and dont wabt him to have a weirdo daddy.. help
Mayby wasnt the best way to explain this as weirdo but its how i feel i am now. Feel really weird i evan hate that word now so much as its how i feel i am... just cant dobit anymore and is have medication aslong as there was one what keeps you on this planet and not out of it all the time else whats the point im trading one un natural feeling for another. I just want to be normal and have a normal life... the symptoms have just got worse in the last 6 months to do with my mputh. Tensing and tightening my jaw all the time aswell. Its like an intense feeling like im drugged up or something. Whats happening??..
And what can i get or do to srop myself feeling nervous?? Like if im stood in cues its like i get paranoid and i have to look at everyperson stood around me to see if they are watching me as i dont feel like i am acting natural and its gets me nervous and i cant wait to get put the shop and stuff. But cues are only an example of this. It happens allover of i have to be in he same place or space for a period of time.. no way can i mange sat at a table around people , evan freinds or family for a long time i have to get up and walk about else i feel like i dont know how to act or how to be or what to do. Unless i am doin something active ibjust dont know how to be. Alcahol helps a little but i know its only temporary so i cant keep blocking it out with drink which i hace done over to years to manage socialising Im so confused over it all . Someone pls help. Be so much appreciated. Thanx
Lee I am no expert , but understand the way you feel . It's crazy how the brain works . All I can suggest to you for now is go to a doctor & tell them all this . Maybe some calming meds for those moments are what's needed for now . And when you settle after a couple of weeks get yourself sorted .
From all I'm learning about anxiety , you are not a weirdo , you are normal , just under stress . Not sure if this helps ..
Thanks for the advice, yeah i think i am going to go see a doctor about it. Its just i have a girlfreind and son and i havent evan ever mentioned this to her and fear if i did she would think i am some sort of weirdo and leave with my son. But i really need a break from it lately as i am losing weight from all the stress of trying to hide how i feel, it never used to worry me but now i am nearly 30 and its dawned on me that this just isnt goin away its self and i cant just be this way forever its stressed me out more and i am struggling to eat properly an all sorts. This has to be the nastiest thing any person could suffer from!! But thanks for advice and i think some sort of calming meds are in need all bee good and well antd the doctor will evan prescribe me any as i know people lie for these meds and doctors will try to avoid prescribing them as much as possible. Thanx