thinking of increasing to 50 or 60 mg.any Advice?

Treatment and medication
1

I mentioned in my last post that things seem to have taken a bit of a downturn over the past 5/6 days and Im wondering if I need to increas from 40m. I know that you can stilll have bad days on the pills, but after about ten days of feeling a lot better, I think 6 days of feeling shitty is too long, or is it, maybe this is a normal setback. Anyone had this long a setback before? Obviously I need to consult with my very elusive doctor first before I get the go ahead but I just wondered if anyone else had increased to this high a dosage and how did it go? I guess Im worried that 60mg is as high as you can go, then what? Also wondering if Im becoming too dependent on them? Im just feeling rather confused about everything because in previous depressive episodes 40mg seemed to do the trick, so why not now? Id really appreciate any advice.

thanks

2

Hi ali-b, sounds like your going through a right horrid time at the moment. I cannot answer your specific question as I am newly on the drug myself (20mg). I would definately suggest that you speak with your GP as it may even be achange in medication that you require, rather than to up the dose. Hang on in there and good luck, hope you get sorted out soon. :wink:

3

Hi Ali-b, have just read your previous posting and found out that you have just purchased your first house. This is bound to have been a really stressful time for you, no wonder your feeling low. You have done incredibly well being a single parent, buying a house as well as experiencing the dark side. I hope you dont find this patronising, as I dont think I could have coped with all you have on your plate. Take care and good luck.

4

thanks for the encouragement barney. It is a struggle being a lone -and sometimes lonely -parent, along with holdiing down a full time job etc. In spite of the dark moments, I felt Id somehow managed ok.

Actually, you might be right about the house buying thing. Buying a house is something Id been aspiring to for a long time and before the move, a lot of my focus and energy was spent on all the usual deposit, mortage, solicitors, organising etc, so i was on an adrenaline high up to that point. I coped well with the moving process, and I dont regret moving house, I love my new house. But I guess its the anticlimax that triggered the depression this time. Its like 'ok, so Ive fulfilled my ambition, great. Now what?' I guess I thrive on having a focus, something to work towards, but now I feel a bit lost, dont know where to put my energy, so my energy has turned inwards and become depression, which starts the downward spiral of 'uh-oh... I,m depressed, what if i cant cope anymore, then I lose my job, then I cant pay the mortgage, then I lose my home, then my son gets taken off me......' Im basically worrying about things that havent even happened, and then I get more depressed because Im depressed, if that makes any sense.

So its good of you to applaud my achievements Barney thank you. Maybe I should be doing more of that myself. applauding my achievements instead of worrying about the future that might never happen.

Anyway, went back to the docs today and got my dose upped to 60mg, doc said I should try them but keep pushing for cognitive therapy as well because it looks like I need to learn how to not let negative thinking overrule me. I know that when Im not depressed I can be a very strong person but when I get down, depression just seems to hold me in its vice like grip and its hard to feel positive about anything.

Anyway, enough of my rambling on, Im going to treat myself to an indian takeaway tongight because I deserve it, (and I cant be bothered to cook). I see youre from scotland barney, how is it up there? Im also a scot, relocated to London, enjoy it sometimes but sometimes get homesick for edinburgh.

5

Hi Ali-b, Scotland is just fine thanks, as usual weather could be better. Glad you got on well at the Doctors and I hope it helps you settle down. Sounds as though you are thinking too much of the bigger picture to the extent that you are getting a blurred vision. Try and not think of everything at once and concentrate on the here and now. You need time to heal as you have obviously been through a lot. I also experience a lack of confidence and so tend to think negatively. Try standing back and see the real picture, you have a full time job, your now a home owner and you have gods gift a child. You have much more than a lot of people, its a medical condition that is making you feel the way you are. You will be you again, just keep strong and when you feel negative, think of 2 positives. Keep well. smile