Time to try and help myself

I had a terrible experience in a previous job with a boss who took a dislike to me. I am hard working with lots of friends but I seem to be a target for emotional manipulation.

I have had my current boss for over 4 years and in thy time a lot has happened. My best friend was brutally murdered and I had to work with a colleague who was involved in the incident making things very difficult.  My boss decided during this time to make my life even harder and I was subject to being spoken to with disrespect. Public ally humiliated. I have been approached by two colleagues who see that this is happening and I am petrified of what will happen when I'm not working. Every day off that I have had I come back to an email of such petty things but he feeds from the fact that sending these whilst I am off builds my Fear of him as I access these whilst off. Colleagues say he is threatened by the good work I do and he feels threatened. I am no threat I come to work do my best and do well. 

I cannot escape the fear and want the wrap myself up under a blanket and never come out. My mum has a history of OCD and depression and I take a lot of her worries. It feels like everythinh is pressing on top of me with no escape.  I don't think I am asking for advice. Altho any help would be amazing butnjust needed to talk. Thanks for listening 

Sorry your boss is being less than accommodating: we work so that we can live we don’t live so that we can work. Don’t accept harassment from your boss, talk to someone about it? Find a different place to do a similar line of work? 

Contact your Union if you have on or make an appointment with your local CAB Office (Citizens Advice) and then see what options are available to you. I spent time in an office like that and eventually I was retired. Although in my case I have poor health.

Go to your GP in may be He can arrange CBT and you will be giving coping techniques to get through your day

If the job in a problem and it seems to be not a nice place a change of job may be the only way forward. Only you know if that is feasable

BOB