Tired, could sleep 24/7

Mental health
1

I don't know where to start...

7 Years ago I was diagnosed with Intracranial hypertension, I have had many, bouts of open brain surgery.

I suffer from depression, general anxiety disorder and a personality disorder.

I take numerous medications, such as Depakote, Pregabalin and most recently, sertraline.

For about 2 years, I have been so tired. I could sleep all day, every day, if I could, but I have children and this is impossible.

My ex used to live an hours drive away, I would get so tired just sitting in the car, that I would have to pull over at the services and have at least an hours sleep. Watching a film, I fall asleep, in classroom at college, I fall asleep. I have even hallucinated because I am so tired, and I mean real hallucinations.

I have so many issues, mentally and physically, all my bloods come back normal, I have had a CT scan, normal. 

I feel like I have so many more problems than what I have been diagnosed, such as bipolar (which is being questioned at the moment by the professionals) even things like ADHD, I have symptoms of. I'm a wreck of a person. Terrible memory, anxiety, paranoia, just feel like a black hole.

My opinions are constantly conflicting with others, I argue with people, I have been kicked out of my doctors and never stick at a college course because of tiredness, and my moods, I was expelled from school.

People just think I am a hypercondriac but I actually can't cope anymore, life isn't good, I feel like I'm dragging myself through each day, just feel like a failure.

My GP surgery recently took me off their books, because I had an argument with a doctor there, and now I have to find somewhere new, and build up a relationship with a doctor which I know I will  find so hard, (Been at my old GP for 25 years, my whole life.)

I dont know whether because of all the brain operations, my brains just frazzled, and thats causing the tiredness. But it just seems as though when I have to sit, and listen, or be quiet, I just sleep within seconds.

I try so hard, I have tried all kinds.

Even drinking a redbull or 5 makes me just fall asleep quicker.

Tried excerising, relaxing, not doing as much during the day, getting more sleep, just nothing changes.

My anxiety and depression now are at the worst they have ever been, just so fed up.

Not even expecting a reply because I know my story is so complex sad 

But if anyone does answer thanks in advance.

2

Such a sad story, sorry to hear about your suffering. I'm a former nurse (specialised in neuro) and currently volunteer on a crisis line, so I'm used to hearing stories like yours. I too have a history of depression, including a suicide attempt, though that was a long time ago now, in my mid-20s. I was diagnosed with probable Asperger syndrome 25 years ago at the age of 45. I use the word "probable", because in the late 80s they'd only just started diagnosing the condition, although Dr. Asperger published his paper in 1944, the year of my birth. The diagnosis came too late to do anything about it, of course, but it helped me to understand my life-long problems. After that, I started to kind of grow into myself.

I too have assorted personality problems. Unlike you, I never managed to sustain a relationship or have a family, though I don't regret that now. No point in ever regretting anything, is there? I qualified as a nurse (SRN in those days) in the mid-60s but realised I should give up after ten years, because of attention and concentration problems (which I only discovered were down to Aspergers 15 years later, of course).

I have to say, however, that I can't offer any solutions.

I'm wondering which aspects of your condition started first - the intracranial hypertension or the personality disorder etc. The reason for asking is that it's possible that either the intracranial hypertension or the surgery has produced changes in the frontal lobes of your brain, which will inevitably affect your personality.

You may have heard of the British actress, Jane Lapotaire, who underwent brain surgery to treat a burst aneurysm some years ago. Her original condition was different from yours, but the results of brain surgery or any other kind of injury are often similar. I'm not sure whether this site allows for posting links, but I'm going to have a go anyway. She wrote a book about her experiences, called Time out of Mind that you might find interesting. I'm posting a link to an interview she gave to the Guardian (not usually my favourite paper!) in 2003. If it doesn't show up, try Googling Jane Lapotaire, Guardian and brain haemorrhage.

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2003/apr/29/healthandwellbeing.health

The constant sleepiness may well be down to side-effects of your medications, but I'd strongly advise you not to stop or reduce them without medical supervision, particularly the Depakote and Pregabalin, as this could cause seizures and I see you're still able to drive. (You've got one on me there, btw - I tried to learn to drive for years but never managed, which is about par for the course for Asperger's!)

But most important of all - stop drinking Red Bull! And that goes for any other so-called energy drinks and indeed for sodas or sweetened drinks of any kind. Red Bull in particular, with its toxic combination of sugar and caffeine, is notorious for producing a very brief high followed by a prolonged low. This is a terrible marketing scam that doctors have been trying to abolish for years. You only have a fixed amount of energy, and using up more of it for a short period will inevitably leave you with less immediately afterwards. On top of that, taking in large amounts of sugar tends to deplete your energy to an even greater extent than it increases it during the short period of the "rush". Eating a cheese or ham sandwich would give you much more sustainable energy than drinking a can of Red Bull.

You can post or email me whenever you like, but I repeat I can't offer solutions, only suggestions and emotional support. From what you say, you clearly are holding it together somehow, however difficult things are. You talk of your children and your studies. Also, you have a big advantage over many others in your position since - like Jane Lapotaire - you're aware that your own behaviour is partly creating the problem. I listen to many people in my job who haven't the faintest idea that they themselves are part of the problem, and just scream about the unfairness of the world. You haven't fallen into that trap, so there's a lot of hope for you.

3

of course you will get a reply.  sounds like you're really struggling at the moment, which i hate seeing on here. i've no experience with open brain surgery and i can't imagine how that must have been for you.  some GP's can be funny and just tell you what you want to hear, that's where arguments betweend doctor and patient start, but you know how you feel and if your doctor wasn't supportive to everything you've been through then maybe it's the best thing you do find someone else!! i've never heard of anyone being taken off the books!! a bit extreme that considering you need help from them.  depression and anxiety does make you very tired and probably all the other medication you're taking doesn't help with that, have you checked the side effects of your meds at the moment to see if it's that?? if it's your first time trying sertraline, it will take 6-8 weeks to get into your system, what is your doesage?? usually the GP will start you on a lower dosage and gradually increase you, i started on 50mg and 11 months later i'm on 150mg which has worked wonders with me.  i too am on it for depression and anxiety :-)

 

4

You people are so kind and have lifted my spirits a little bit.

I have received your inbox Lily and I have replied to it. Although i forgot to me toon i did have mental problems even as a child, i had severe anxiety despite being raised in a loving family home (up until I was ten when my brothe tragically died then it all went upside down) but my mum and dad still loved me and made the rest of my childhood as pleasant as possible, god bless them especially my mum.

Anyway, I was expelled from school, and I always had the symptoms of feeling left out: that no one understood me, always taking jokes literal, I often was told, you can take a joke! You are so socially awkward! Blah blah. Anyway please reply to my email Lily as I have replied but I am going to reply to ginge now.

Thanks for your words ginge!

I was taken off the books for making a comment about a doctor, which I know was an allegation but I swear it's true. And if karma is real, it will come out! I'm signing up with a new doctor anyway. But it may take some time. After speaking to lily I think I have a lot of symptoms of aspergers, it did take me longer to learn how to drive, at first I struggled even comprehending it, I argued continuously with my instructor, always thinking he was judging me because I pulled out too soon, or didn't do the turn right, but now I realise that it's been pointed out that he was just doing his job. 

I have been on sertraline for a month now, starting on 50 and now upped to 100mg. They could be the root of the tiredness but I swear I have felt this way for years. Due to my memory iv forgot what meds I have been taking and the times I was most tired. 

I see my psychiatrist on 29th December which to me does seem a little far but there's not much I can do to bring that forward.

Thanks for replying and any more advice or similar symptoms will be greatly appreciated.