I am scared of going to the doctors simply because it's a situation I don't want to be in, I'm scared of being diagnosed with depression but then I'm scared of being told that I'm fine because I'd that's the case then I'm left with these emotions without any explanation or cause. I hate the feeling of worthlessness and I don't like feeling numb or empty or breaking down in tears and then just feeling fine. I can't afford therapy I don't want to reveal information and become vulnerable, hence the false name. I just don't know what to do.
From what you're saying it sounds like you have classic symptoms of depression, but without seeing the doctor and telling them what's going on it can't be diagnosed and they can't start to help you. I know how tough it is to go and see a doctor and tell them you think you're suffering from depression - I had to write down things I was feeling to make sure the doctor could read my list if I clammed up. As it happens they just listened to what I had to say and asked the questions they needed to, and it wasn't the nightmare experience I thought it was going to be. 3-4 months on and with some medication I'm improving, and have some therapy planned soon to try and help some more so it was definitely worth it. I hope you can find the strength to go and see the doctor - it will be the start of your road to recovery. Take care. x
You do not have depression. What you have done is to work up an anxiety that you have decided is depression. You cannot self diagnose. Go to your GP for advice.
Hi - I understand about not wanting to go to doc, and not having spare money for therapy, sooo my suggestion to you is to read a helpful book. I don't know which one will really help you, but if I have understood a bit about you from your intro -you need to cut yourself a little slack. This is not a perfect world in which we live and we are not perfect, so we need to be compassionate with ourselves and others. Try Paul Gilbert's 'The Compassionate Mind' from Amazon. It helped me. All the Best. David.
Yes even i agree with dougied, jaguar and david7897. You should visit doctor.
If you cant afford the therapy or if you are scared of visiting doctor, then I have one solution on this.
I hope it will help you. Start doing meditation it will help you get control over your thoughts and slowly it will start boosting your confidence and finally you will be out of everything. Just start doing this you will see the change from 1st day itself.
All the best