Today Is my day

Mental health
1

Hi everyone

So I have since last year been so in the gutter I've attempted suicide and been in some very low points I if you have followed my conversations have been set up at every post and fell at every hurdle

The other night I attempted again but found when I didn't die a new load of strength I'm not sure where from and I don't know how it's happened it just has today is the day I set the record straight and take on those that have put me where I am today is my day where I will fight to put the wrongs right

So my story briefly I was stopped from seeing my child by my ex because I didn't want to get bk with her I told her she couldn't do that and I'd go to court to get parental responsibility and the only two ways I'd get refused it where as follows

If I was a child abuser ( so all good there) or secondly if I wanted it only to harrase the mother

Now we were talking up until this point quite amicably however she the next day tried to log a complaint of harrasment she failed they wouldn't take the complaint because she was answering me

She and the police failed to inform me of the allegation and she stopped answering me when I messaged ( I'm sure you can see where this is going)

I grew more and more concerned about her not answering me so I messaged more asking to resolve issues not nasty at all however to weeks later I got arrested for the harrasment I'd not been warned off I kinda laughed at the time thinking that's bull however the law is a grey area and it doesn't matter what you say in the messages it's the fact they are not wanted that convicts you

And so I got convicted of that sontheres my chances of parental responsibility gone right this hurt me so much I gave up and became depressed

However to add insult to injury the arresting officer one of the two that is also claimed I attempted to assault her now that's just cock and bull I'd never put my hands in a woman I actually tried to pull my arms away from her however I thought yes I see why she might of thought crap

That was until I read her statement which and I'm going to quote here reads I managed to dodge his relentless blows what?? Lol so I compare the two statements of the officers and they are nothing alike if I had indeed attempted to assault one the other would of had that in their statement too I'm assuming

There's no mention of it at all in the other statement in fact the other statement clarifies what I have said in my version of events

Any way I look into this and what can be done about this down right lie it turns out it's false testimony as she wrote it down and was prepared to go to court although the cps dropped the charge probably realised it didn't happen to obscuring people fair cop I thought so yeah ok I did try to obstruct them I tried to run off

So anyway today is my day I file the complaint with the commissioner about the false testimony it's also the day I start to fight bk and show the courts what really happened the day I pledge wrongful arrest as I had no warning to not messaged today is the day I get to start to show them what she did was planned and to serve a purpose to manipulate the system in order to hurt me today's the day I'm have the strength to take on the world and fight for myself hopefully I'll get it removed hopefully someone will see this for what it actually is and how I'm actually the victim I've been failed by the system and I deserve to be heard out and see my child I deserve the chance to be the dad I've always dreamt of being I will not just be pushed deeper into depression and end my life I'll take the world on if I have to to say is the day I prove to my daughter she means more to me than life itself that I love her that I'll fight for her and I'll never give up on or for her

I'm happy I'm motivated I'm ready for it today is my day this will take months maybe laonger but to say I prove to the world my little girl is worth it

Hope you all get the strength I have today stand up and make a difference

2

hi superfluous, glad to know you have found inner strength to fight the darkness and depression. i hope you are able to maintain this energy and motivation for times to come. I can understand how hard it must be for you to not be able to see your daughter. she will definitely need a dad once she grows up. I remember when I was in my high schools, my mom and dad use to fight a lot and still do but that was the time I first realized the condition of my family when I got back to living with my parents from my uncle's house. My mom was always in depression and during fights with my dad, atleast couple of times she atttemped suicide in front of me. of course we stopped her but for me as a kid in teens, it really took a toll on me and the spark of life that was in me was gone. I hated my dad because he was a sore loser, nothing compared to my mom. My mom being a highly respected government authority with good job was always being mentally harrased by my stupid drunk dad. the world outisde always thought that we were a very good respectable family but only few people, the neighbourers knew what kind of a man my dad was. His only weapon was to humiliate and embarass my mom by shouting out loud and making the people outside listen purposely. In my opinion he was never a MAN, a man would never try to take advantage of someone's weak point. He knew my mom was very scared of "what people would think". My dad was just a loser with an ordinary job but its not about money or his job. Its about how disgustingly low self esteem person he was who never cared about society or what people outside would think. When i first saw my mom attempt suicide with knife(we stopped her), I was so scared. As a kid of just 15 years I was mentally broken, would keep on worrying even in school about what my mom would do. There was this constant pressure and worry about she might do something. My mom was never at fault, it was just this drunkard dad who was just not of the class of being married to my mom. well here in my country, its a big thing if someone's get divorced. My mom wouldnt take divorce because she cared about me, my brother. All i have realized is that no matter who is at fault, a kid always suffers. I havent really been happy since that time...i have lost that spark, that happiness, that glow. No child should live under the fear that his/her parents might commit suicide or things like that. It can change the mentality of the kid because this is the time when his brain is developing, trying to understand how life is meant to be lived. I feel bad for those kids whose parents are drug addict and spoil their kids lives. Today when i see my friends photos and posts on facebook with their mom and dad, celebrating wedding anniversary or birthday, I realize that this is the way to live life and feel that they are so lucky to have such family. I never experinced that side of life and never will. Thats why I wish all the best for your daughter and hope that you go on to be a wonderful dad and give a life to your child that she deserves, a normal happy childhood.You have to be there for her when she needs. My life has been sh*t, I did not wish to live. I wish i died but  never had the strength(or weakness) to end my life. I hope that you never try again to end your life because that is just not the solution. You HAVE to live for your daughter. I'll pray to god to give you the strength to come out of this depression forever and never come back to it. All the best 

3

Yes, your daughter is worth it. You have rights as her father and should fight for her and for you. 

4

You sound super empowered, take that empowerment and that sense of giving life another go and throw it all in this problem going on, This is all for your daughter show the court you are a great person and make them believe and love you, when asked about the mother you speak about her like you still like her even if you hate her, never say anything bad about her and act so mature, don't even try speak to the mother again and prove to her you are doing so well without her eventually she will get aggitated and might even message you, but never message back because anything you say will be used against her even if you are nice to her she can turn that on you and say 'look hes being nice he still loves me thats why he wants the child because i dont love him' absolutely ruin her!

Get your daughter back and don't stop till you do

give life one more chance

5

I'm so proud of your courage, your strength to get what is right down will inspire many others and the ones who read this also.

I'm happy you failed at your attempt because the world needs people like you as a ray of light and hope.

Your always so encouraging that I can't believe your suffering with such pain and my heart goes out to you.

You will find justice and peace as I will keep you in my prayers at night all the way here in my bed in Toronto Canada.

Your daughter loves you and just think of her as your angel when your feeling down and hopeless and know that she needs a father in her life.

Some little girls don't have fathers in their lives that will fight for them like you are for her and you need to always remember what's important.

You got this

May God bless you sweetie

Xoxo

6

Hey you. Rooting for u. Left u a voicemail to wish u all the luck in the world xxx let me know how it goes xxx :0)

7

Oh yes superfluous, today is your day!! You will accomplish all your goals today and be able to be the great father you are. I know that you will.

8

Well said dannie. Fathers have as much right as mums and i know u have all yr focus and fire back to prove the systems a massive failure! ☆☆☆

9

That bit to superflous lok. Xxx

10

Thankyou to everyone who has showed me the support I have on here it means so so much

So thankyou all for the messages my day is nearing its end I'm very tired and feel so accomplished I have a long fight ahead of me and it's a very tough one but my voice today has been heard it has been taken very seriously this is just the beginning If nothing else is achieved I want to show people that are struggling against enormous odds that's sometimes it's about attacking it from the sides chipping away at the web of deception yes it'll take so so long but each lie that is unraveled and seen for what it is weakens the structure it starts to lose its strength the more I fight the stronger I get whilst the web of deception and injustice gets weaker

I'm in it for the long haul I'll always have that one last round in me I shall see this through to the end I have a goal and I will succeed I want people to see no matter what odds are stacked against you no matter what your going through there's hope if you want it bad enough you will have it I'm going to prove it to you watch this space

Thankyou all so so much luv ya all thinking of you all and fighting for you all

Mike

11

Couldnt b any happier for u xx truly. U have been thru so much and still help & inspire all of us to go on every day. We were all thinkin of you as the posts show. Make it happen mike. Dont give up ♡♡♡

12

Hi Super - what a story - an example of what goes on every day in this world by bitter and twisted people who are more concerned with wounding others and will tell any lie to do it. You are right - the law is indeded a grey area, and it is frightening how we are expected to prove they are lying. But you are doing the right thing by fighting back - you need to pursue that no matter how long it takes. Once it's on record - and you are lucky her lies were not pursued and "proven" in court because your future would look very different and certainly bleak - you will have a credible base on which to rest any future allegations she may make against you. Follow through.

Next, make sure you don't give her any amo in future. If communication is necessary, keep any texts, and if contacting in person, try to have someone there to witness what passes between you, or meet in a public [place where there are people and/or CCTV that can be used as evidence should she make further outrageuos claims. What a shame there is a child involved in this, it makes it almost impossible to get away from that woman. Be careful. Try to keep positive. Pursue. Oh, and suicide won't fix this.

13

Thankyou Wayne

You really wouldn't believe it honestly you couldn't write it

So allow me to explain what happened I went to court I wish now I'd opted for crown when I asked although I did have faith in the legal system so thought either would be fine and the magistrates court would be a fair trail if anyone finds themselves in a predicament like this please go to crown court and again I'll explain why you should.

So I go to court the messages I sent which I've sent to so many people now to ask an honest opinion of how they view the content ( you know I thought maybe I'm over looking things)

Anyway everyone I've sent them to has said oh my got you tried every possible olive branch technique there is even offer to go to a contact centre or deal with it through mediation and open communication through an independent third party

Anyway I go to court thinking considering the content this will be laughed out of court I was super confident

Well I arrived at court and my solicitor said to me look you are going to be found guilty no way because you admit to sending the messages and she is saying she didn't want the messages

So I said but the content surly has some thing they are not nasty I'm trying to resolve issues it's evident

So he says yes but that's doesn't matter the fact you sent them and admit tonsending them and she is claiming they caused her distress is what they are going to be looking at we can not use the messages as a defence as I said the content is irrelevant ( yeah I know pathetic)

So he said it's inevitable they will find you guilty so you can plead guilty and many get a community order or probation or you can go to trail they will find you guilty and you can go to jail for quite a long time (I was fuming) given the choices in front of me and my state of mind I decided the best option was guilty ( if only I had the fight then I have now huh) any way I was shocked the magistrate court jailed me lol yes alongside murders I served my time in a maximum security jail (I know this is what I'm saying you couldn't write it)

In addition to the sentence I got a year licence on probation and a three year restraining order oh believe me the faith in the legal system has well and truly gone

It's seems if your a father you can either walk away or try to resolve issues and go to jail lol

Anyway as you can imagine I hit rock bottom felt like I gave up the fight and spiralled into depression

Now I'm on probation and what got my goat is they have to show the court I'm a year that they have done what they need to do to rehabilitate me for the crime I committed ( and this is where I get my fight back) you see apparently they umbrella offences of this nature it all comes under domestic abuse ( I've never been happier of such stereotypical attitudes) I'll explain you see they have to show I've been rehabilitated for domestic abuse you know so it won't happen again right?

So the probation said to me look there's this course as I felt I don't need a course and to sit there with people whom openly admit to beating on their partners and such I don't need it

So I investigated what I can do about it turns out I have the right to refuse and tell the probation to go to court and justify them wanting me to do the course ( oh thank the lord ) you see to justify that and for me to put across the reasons I beleive i don't need it I can use the messages I sent I can put them down and this is the extent of the abuse I'm guilty of this is what they say ( I'm allowed to do this because my ex is not there to be futher tramitized by having to relive the horror as she would have at trail) I hope you can follow what I'm saying

So I get to put in front of a judge the messages and say so I do a course to help me with domestic abuse even the probation yesterday on seeing them said I don't ( there hands are tied because there job is to show I am rehabilitate ( an impossible task if I'm not guilty afterall ) lol so probation have now said we don't know what to do we can't show your rehabilitated because your not guilty in the first place of domestic abuse ( thankgod some one that's sees it) once a court find they can't send me on the course and I have now the backing of probation I can officially request the conviction to be over turned and squashed ( my silver lining) you see I've been to jail I've done time I have nothing to lose and everything to gain it's all about time and patience and the fact that the law contradicts itself I guess so I may not get it resolved and sorted over night but I will get this overturned I will get justice it'll just take longer it will take ages but I know now have the opportunity and the evidence to show this whole thing was a woman scorned that managed to manipulate a flawed system to get her own revenge on me saying I didn't want to be with her the police and this officer that lied is the starting point from there it's going to have a domino effect and I single handedly will take down the web of deception and show people the truth and that the system is completely flawed

Again thankyou for your support and message

Hope you are ok too

14

Hey read waynes post ealier. See everyone knows the flaws n our system! Were all behind ya 100 %. Kp fighting and others wont suffer the injustice u have & the resuting affect it has on your mental wellbeing xx great post 2wayne xx

15

The legal system has nothing to do with justice. It's just legal mumbo jumbo. 

16

Thankyou Amanda

I just think I got so bogged down with the size or the task I couldn't find away of approaching it I was disappointed I threw the towel in so early

My suicide attempt that Saturday and my new found strength I found from where I don't know maybe a higher power allowed me to spot the chings in the armour of the task o was able to see my stance point and what best way to approach the fight I use the system to fight itself instead of me fighting the system turn it back onto them and say here you go

This is what I sent this is what I said and this is my conviction can you explain what I would gain and how it would help ( rehabilitate) me to do this course once they admit it would be ( superfluous) for me to do the course it puts into question what exactly am I guilty off whating to be a dad that's it does that warrant the extent of punishment I've endured truth. E know for my daughter I do it again 10 times over the system is flawed and I will throw light onto it

Ps did you like that see what i did there ( hahaa superfluous) hahaha you free for a call it's early ya know prefer to check x

17

That's the truth if ever I heard it Phyllis thankyou x hope you aren't ok x

18

(Are ) (are ok) what the hell damn predictive text the ordastity of the phone thinking it knows better than I what it is I'm trying to say grrr

19

Lol xxx

20

  My depression is being managed very well since July 2015 with mirtazapine and venlafaxine. I also follow the alcohol abuse forum because my husband is an alcoholic. The meds I'm on help me deal with everything much calmer than I used to. Hope all goes well with your fight for justice. I can't think of a more worthy cause than your child. Good luck and take care.