Tolerance withdrawal or not?

Treatment and medication
1

I have been on diazepam for about 19 years, current dose 22mg per day, it wasn't always that high and I went 10 of those years with no increase at all, last increase was about a year ago.

I feel like I am in withdrawal, I am having all of the physical symptoms and 24/7 fear with agoraphobia so it does very much seem like tolerance withdrawal.

The only thing that makes me wonder if it's not is that I have had periods of a few months in between these breakdowns where I feel much better despite not tapering off.

Can tolerance withdrawal symptoms 'come and go'?

I had my first breakdown Novemer 2015, increased dose, didn't make any real difference, recovered by march 2016.

Second breakdown July 2016, increased dose, again not much difference, recovered by october 2016.

Was fine until January, felt another breakdown coming on, did not increase dose, was over it in about 5 weeks.

Started feeling awful again about 6 weeks ago, initially woken by panic from my sleep which built up to attacks of terror, worsening agoraphobia,stomach issues,hot flushes and constant state of fear, that is my life as of now.

I think it is tolerance withdrawal but my husband wonders if it is because I have bouts of getting better,as I said when I got bad in January I did not increase the dose and still got better.

Anyone able to help with this? Can it come and go or am I just suffering these breakdowns and it's nothing to do with the diazepam at all?

I fear coming off them so don't want to taper only to discover it was never tolerance withdrawal in the first place if that makes sense.

2

Hi Bella, you could be having side effects form the Valium..... But I don't know, it sounds like tolerance , but odd that it comes and goes . 

some people feel a lot better when they get off the med.... And their symptoms go away . Also not everyone has a hard time tapering. I am tapering Valium at the moment , for me it's hard , but I know that's not the case for all. Good luck. 

3

Thank you Mareset, it does feel like withdrawalbut yes certainly strange that it comes and goes, before this episode I had a very good 4 months, much less anxiety and no signs of tolerance withdrawal.

The other strange thing is that updosing does not help, my doctor updosed me last week because i am woken up by panic but rather than panic waking me at it's usual 5am time it woke me at 3.30am instead, since that night I have just gone back to my normal dose.

I'm sorry your taper is hard but you are so brave to do it and I am sure that once it's done you will have no regrets, good luck with it.

4

Thank you Bella.im glad you've gone back to your normal dose .... I do know that during tapering something similar happens.... Symptoms come and go, so perhaps it's something like that? I wonder of there are triggers that are causing the symptoms , a food or stress , anything that would aggravate your nervous system , another medication? 

By the way , I wake up in the early hours suddenly very often.... It's common in withdrawal , for me it's a cortisol or adrenaline surge that makes me feel anxious . I wonder if that's what it is for you? It doesn't happen all the time , but when I make a small cutback I get it more , so I know it's withdrawal related ......