So, I feel like I'm back where I started.. I was having some great days.. Then my cycle hit on Wednesday and since Tuesday I've been on ups and downs.. I went a good few weeks without heart palps. But last night I got some flutters that lasted on and off probably 10 seconds, which of course felt like 10 hours.. Now today I had a few and I said enough is enough, I'm not doing this.. They went away and I decided I would enjoy my might. Made some dinner and then drive someone somewhere.. I was about to turn and got one of those oh my God moments.. The dreaded symptom of all health anxiety people.. The shooting pain in the chest and left shoulder.. A few seconds later, I noticed a gas bubble low in my stomach. Whatever, out two and two together, gas.. Well then I got home and had to belch, so I did and felt a big palp.. Then maybe some flutters but I don't know if they were flutters.. I'm just lost at this point. I'm telling myself not to get upset, I'm really trying. But the past two nights it just isnt working. Why isnt it working? Do i maybe need a higher dose of my meds?
I seriously cannot live in constant fear anymore.. I thought the past few weeks I was over this. I had high hopes.. How is it that I get the news that my heart is good (from an echo/ekg/24 hr holter) and I still don't believe it, or I think I've developed something overnight?? Is it a definite that the heart would show signs of something if anything were to happen soon? I feel so stupid for being back into this funk.. I just can't get out of it and don't know what to do..
Debating maybe giving myself a "sick day" from work sometime this week without the kids and just having some "me" time.. Nails, new makeup, some coffee (or water in my case) with a friend.. Something.