So this is a new one for me. I travel to work by bus, only a short journey, and have done so for the past 5 years with no issues. Since my relapse into my anxiety in December, every morning is a struggle when going to work, and coming back too. When I'm at work, I'm ok, my team are nice, it's relaxed and we have a laugh, so it's relaxing.
I'm sat on the bus now, trying to avert a panic attack. Recently I've been getting on the bus and half way through the journey, my heart starts racing, I burn up and start sweating, go all light headed. When I get off the bus I feel like my feet are weighted down my head feels so light. It's not until I get home and lay down for 10 minutes that I feel OK.
I think it's because the bus was where I had one of my first panic attacks since my relapse, and now I'm fearing being alone. I've got epilepsy too, which is where most of my anxieties come from. What if I had a seizure on the bus, with nobody I know around, make a fool out of myself by p*ssing my pants. Ugh, it's so frustrating! I was never like this before. I usually try to listen to mindful meditation when I'm on the bus, it does help, takes your mind off it, but alas I've left my headphones in work.
Can't wait to get home! Anyone else get anxieties about travelling alone?
How about you get a tag made up that you wear around your neck or a braclet and note medical conditions. That way that part is tucked away and safe. Suoer smart to listen to kindfullness, just always remember your headphones. Anxiety will bully you, we have all learned that, so take one moment at a time but keep going. You have to orove to yourself you can push through, you have too. No one will leave you on the ground if anything would happen..no one. So that intense myth of being alone out there ahould be dismantled. Any buisness on this Earth would get you help if something went wrong as well. I used to worry about that but i watched a woman faint from it and i ran over, but happily so did tons of people and they all helped her. I think i was being shown that people do help and care. The tv makes it like they would leave you there or rob you but they dont. I hooe that makes you feel better.
Mindfullness not kindfullness that was some ipad word changer thing.
I hate traveling on public transport just thinking about it makes me panic same with dentists I try to avoid public transport if I can I know its not resolving the issue but its better than having a full blown panic attack infront of a load of strangers russell.
It really does help to read that on a screen, thank you! With my type of seizures, it's not like I even just drop there and then, I get a long warning of like 45 minutes so I know when I'm going to have one, and I've not had 4 in ten years so it's not regular, I'm trying to tell myself the chances are low and that there will always be someone around.
I really can't believe how much of an impact the mindful meditation is having, I was sceptic at first but it really does help. I have improved, in early December I was having daily panic attacks on the bus or when out alone, I have managed to control it to a point where it's more of an uncomfortable annoyance. I just don't want to let it win, I don't want to get to a point where I can't leave my house. My dad went through that when I was a kid, he couldn't even go to the local shop for a pack of cigarettes, it was awful.
Thanks for your kind words! X