I have tried so hard to keep busy this week while off work, car got serviced but needed other work so had to drive 70 odd miles back another day for it to be fixed. Drove to somewhere never been before, took photos, good empty fast roads nearly lost the car a few times, got a buzz, booked appointment and saw bereavement councillor I hadn't seen for quite a while due to other therapy, got sun burnt sitting on a beach felt very ill that night, tried not to drink too much alcohol this week, even changed my bed, tried visiting grandkids but every time been they are out being looked after by their other gran, as son is away, haven't eaten well, overdone some drugs this week spoke to samaritans quite a few times in a state, suicidal thoughts even when out taken various items with me, contacted friend to see if she wanted to go for a walk she's busy, sitting here wandering what is the f...... Point in keep trying when I just can't or don't want to do this anymore. Sorry for the long rambling as I just don't know anymore. I'm lost I need a hug. Thanks if you got this far x
Hi Tina well it sounds like you have done quite a lot but it's a shame family and friends have been letting you down like this.
Anyway lots of hugs for you sweetie. Take care. xxx
Thanks, ended up getting a migraine took drugs for that, afraid to say hurt myself too haven;t done that for over a week too, shameful disappointed in myself. Fell asleep for a while.
thank you for the hugs. xx