Trust me the OUTSIDE WORLD have not a clue about ANXIETY and the toll it takes on our lives

Mental health
1

I printed my pain on another website I wont name .

I have had 2 responses from the personal posting i placed and this is what is said in response to my cry and pain.

Subject: my housing story is killing me-

Date: Thu, 18 Jun 2015 17:00:26 +0100

" What load of buXXXXit!!!! "

 

" Yeah, I have HIV and get on with my life, unlike you expecting every fuXXXXr out there to take care of you!!!"

MY response was this 

" 

I remain with hope that my circumstances will change and am doing every thing in my power to do this on my own.

I wish you well 

PJ  

and this is me in the photo.

I have no problems sharing who I am with you.

Maybe you can do the same.

Maybe that's not something you would want to do after hammering me with your verbal abuse."

2ND EMAIL TONIGHT 

" man up and survive the problems you have created for yourself "

THIS IS NOT THE MAJORITY OF HOW PEOPLE WILL REACT AND BE SO JUDGEMNTAL BUT TRUST ME THEY ARE CERTAINLY OUT THERE.

This to me is people speaking from thier own deep seated anger.

Saying all this  It makes me so grateful to have this FORUM to trun to at anytime and to have everything given to envourage and to keep going with HOPE , AND TO EXPERIENCE THE COMPASSION WHICH COMES FROM THOSE WITH A GENUINE LOVE FOR OTHERS WITHOUT ANY COST IS SO amazing.

no matter how bad you feel about yourself , keep safe and dont allow yourself to be open to abuse.

I shared my story at a time of deep despair onto a mainline website and can only blame myself for what others judge me for.

I cannot retaliate as neg + neg = neg.

Pleace and Love to all those in this Forum.

stick with those who know exactly what you are going through .

this is our safe ground where we can build upon new foundations to grow and become better and kinder people first to ourselves and then share it with others.

PJ

 

2

Yes, I'm not surprised. I often read many people are willing to help. I never ever ask and when I have, I've really needed it! I got that reaction and I was floored. I was homeless and desperate but it was someone whom had very little who gave me food and a pair of his pants. I knew many who said they loved me. Would always take care of me. If it was up to them, I'd never want for anything. However, it was a man who had just gotten out of prison with no place of his own who fed me and gave me his brand new pants and socks to leave him with only what he had on. There are so many beautiful people in the world and some with very ugly personalities. I guess the mistakes I made due to my illness was enough for those loved ones to feel I deserved to starve. So what if I was homeless and I did it to myself. I'll never forget that time in my life, who was there to lend a hand and who left me to die. I got my own place, my boys live with me again, I bought a car and I'm going to college to become a clinical counselor. There are times I want to quit but my boys deserve a fighter and I can't give those people who left me for dead see me fail. I may struggle and I may never love another man again but I will help others and my boys will learn anything is possible. Don't give up! Let those negative responses fuel your fire. Anger can be a good thing and I'm angry! I'll pray for you PJ! Keep your head up and don't get discouraged. Hugs!

3

tHANKS FOR EVERY WORD IN YOUR MESSAGE OF ENCOURAGEMNT TO ME.

YOU ARE A UNIQUE AND AMAZING HUMAN BEING.

ITS TRULY A STORY FROM DESPIAR TO UTTER GRACE AND SO REFRESHING TO BE REMINDED IN ALL MY DIFFICULTIES I JUST CANNOT AFFORD TO GIVE UP ON ME.

MAYBE I NED TO GO THROUGH THIS EXPERIENCE OF BEING PUT OUT ON THE STREET WITH MY LIST OF HORRENDOUS HEALTH ISSUES.

I DID VOLUNTEER IN SAN DIEGO S AFEW YEARS BACK TO PUT $1 IN MY POCKET AND GO HOMELESS WITH AN AMAZING ,INSPIRED YOUNG GUY WHO TAUGHT ME SO MUCH ABOUT SURVIVAL , AND DO YOU KOW WHAT LAST YEAR HE WENT FROM BEING HOMELSEE TO A MULTI MILLIONARE DUE TO THE COURT TRIAL HE WAS OFTEN TELLING ME ABOUT WHEN HE WAS ASSULTED FRO STEALING SOME FOOD TO EAT WHEN HE WAS HUNGRY FROM RITE AID. THE SECURITY GUARD BEAT HIM TO A PULP .

HE WAS AWARDED OVER 9 MILLION $$

I AM NOT A MONEY HUNGRY GUY AS IT DONEST BUY ME THE HEALTH I WANT BACK IN MY LIFE, IT DOESNT BRING ME FULFILLMENT ALL IT DOES IS GIVE ME A FEW OPTIONS TO CHOSE FROM.

hUGS AND MANY MANY HAPPY YEARS FOR YOU TO COME.

hUGS

pj

4

I know exactly what you mean! I'm so glad he has the means to take care of himself now. It's just a shame he had to endure such abuse. I am not money hungry either but we need it to survive. I know people hate to hear this but I am a huge believer that everything happens for a reason. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. I'm here if you ever need to talk. Much, much happiness to you! I believe PJ!

5

HI Ozzie, I truly, truly, truly hope and pray that you get the help that you need and deserve, every single person is worth as much as anyone else....I am so, so sorry that you are facing these worries at the moment...I pray that everything will turn around for you.xx

These nasty people are beyond belief !! In fact, in one way I feel sorry for them...they must live a cold life without compassion..

You will be in my THOUGHTS every day, I truly, truly hope that your situation improves...sorry...that word was the only one I could think of...this time of morning...big, warm hugs to you...please take care...DEIRDRE xxxx

6

what a beautiful late night message to make me reture to bed and have a good nights sleep.

You are a UNIQUE and AWESOME human being with the tenderness and compassion of a woman filled with Grace.

And like Obama said last week in his speaech , its that Grace that clothes your body will lead you home in His time .

Thanks 

Mighty Hugs

PJ

7

I believe exactly as you do , everything does haooen for a reason its what i call my journey that was laid out by my Maker even before i was conceived.

he knows every hari on my head and He watches over me lke he does the sparrow.

My faith keeps me able to keep getting up from falling down on the floor every time.

and having people like yourself to turn to and share and care back is what builds us up .

I often find even when i am at my darkest moments to come in and respond to those who are in need helps to divert the tensiona d distress and to give  comfort and love and show compassion to another in distress.

This certainly is a Forum that keeps me hanging on by the skin of my teeth.

PJ

8

The media promote the belief that people with mental health difficulties are weak.

Only yesterday Fi Glover on women's hour congratulated the women who avoided Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, saying they 'got on with it' and 'soldiered on'. Obviously the polarity being the women who allowed themselves to get PTSD. 

In this climate the abuse will flourish.

Be sure,  those who leave abusive comments on forums reflect only their own illhealth, lack of intelect and personality. 

I wish you well.

 

9

Hi Libbie, 

How shocking that another human being can be so thoughtless and critical in her expression of those who were able to fight off PTSD and got on with it.

They Soldierd on no they didnt they werent suffering sdo how can they solier on.

Those that are the Soldiers are those whao are challenged by illness , challneged by the xtreme changes in our lives that deal with Anxiety everyday.

This woman is an ignorant moron.

I dont know who she is but i will google her name.

Its no different tomen feeling they are losing thier masculininty by opening up all the damage they store deep inside and "soldier on " in a life of misery, resentment and anger.

Soldier on is a term for the fighters not the losers that cant face themselves and want to change.

you see that in a number of old miserable menn the grump ones that have always grown up and had implanted in them to admit they have a problem would be a threat to their masculinity, i see so man grumpy ,old and angry men, i think to myself what is the point to live like that with yourself day in day out.

I may of gone a bit off track here

lol

but thanks for your comment 

Hugs

PJ