Trying to taper off wine, need some advice.

General health and lifestyle
1

I'm a 46 year old female and I've been misusing alcohol for over ten years now. I have an anxiety disorder, am extremely introverted and currently have an intense job that is highly demanding of my time and energy. I have little to no support system in place and few people around me, including my current partner of four years, sees me as having a "real" drinking problem. I think because I don't drink until I'm slurry, have never had a blackout, and never needed to get up and drink in the morning, people around me accept my current 1-3 glass a night habit as normal. I've actually had doctors say things like, "come back and see me when you are drinking two bottles a day," or "if you aren't drinking more than me, you don't have a problem."

Well I do have a problem. I drink EVERY day. I think about how, when and where I will have my first glass of wine throughout the day, can rarely stop after one and feel regret every morning, swearing to myself that today will be the first day of the rest of my life where I just don't care about drinking anymore. My health is hugely impacted: night waking, leg cramps, night sweats, heart palpitations, brain fog, memory loss, gastritis and GERD, to name just a few. My mental state fluctuates between super motivated on days after only having one glass to saying f-it, I have no social life because I'm only comfortable with social settings when I'm drinking, so what's the point? I am a highly functioning alcoholic, may as well pour myself another glass of wine and embrace who I am.

I have reduced/abstained for periods of time in the past, never for longer than two months, usually lasting only a week or two here or there before going back to my most recent pattern of 1-3 glasses of wine per night, every night for about 2 months. Most nights are 2 glasses, few are only 1 and some go up to, but never beyond a full bottle (though a full bottle has not happened over the last two months.) I have over the last 10 years or so had a variety of patterns - heavier drinking on weekends with little to no drinking during the week and up to times where I could polish off a full bottle in a day, every other day or so. Pair that with my 5'3 female frame, and that's a LOT of wine for my weight.

So what I know to be true: I need a support system. I need to be with people who understand and are like minded and who accept and don't judge me for my anxiety disorder. Who want to quit misusing alcohol and start appreciating just being alive. I want to feel that life spark again. All the research points to alcohol or drug misuse as being a learned disorder and the ability to make new habits and be surrounded by people, places and things that are motivating and supportive will greatly increase a person's success in sobriety.

*The problem is that my introversion and anxiety disorder makes accessing those things nearly impossible for me. So it becomes easier to comfort my boredom and loneliness with my warm friend wine.

Anyone out there in a similar situation? I'd love to chat about my experience with anxiety disorder and alcohol misuse with other people experiencing the same. Any advice on how long I need to drink just one glass per night before going to every other day to avoid withdrawal? Right now I'm on day 3 of only one glass before bed. I am trying hard to taper down so that whatever anxiety complications that come with withdrawal will be avoided as I have a big trip coming up at the end of next weekand don't want to stack withdrawal anxiety on top of my underlying anxiety disorder, if that makes sense. And I have had what I consider significant withdrawal symptoms in the past.

Any comments in general are greatly appreciated. And yes, I do understand that I am not a-two-bottle-a-day drinker, but I don't ever want to get there as my current habit is already killing me, incrementally.

2

Hi Netskirt

I think joining Soberistas, it's online, woyld really help you. So much support on there from ppl going thru exactly the same as you. There are webinars to watch, blogs that ppl hv written about their own battles and a chat room where you can nip into when you hv the urge.

Hope that helps

Phil

3

Hi

I am in a very similar place. I understand completely what your going through. Recently I went to the doctors and was given a detox plan. I went cold turkey with tablets prescribed from the doctor. Only one week it took on these tablets and no drink for that whole week. I had not the nicest of weeks but I managed it. After the course of tablets I went from drinking 2 bottles of wine and some heavier stuff a day to drinking 3 beers a day. I am currently on 1-4 beers a day depending on bordem and my mental state that day. I won’t go to Support groups as I feel in the next couple of months I am going to continue to decrease my alcohol intake. I feel that you should do the same. Slowly lower the alcohol intake and the percentage. Eat lots and lots of good food. Even if your not hungry. Find some stuff you like doing, learn a new hobby. Either it being crafts or reading or music or cycling. Anything!! Distraction is a great help for addiction and bordem!! 

I go a day without and then allow your self. Never beat yourself up for having that drink just try and go a day without and taper it away. I really wish you luck and I hope this helps xx 

4

Hi there this a really good forum as lots of people are or have been in the same position!! .there is some great advice. I abuse alcohol cant remember when i haven't had a drink free day, i suffer with depression and anxiety also anorexia..i use alcohol to try and cope but i know its a vicious circle. Research the sinclair method it uses a pill called natroxene i think thats what its called. There are lots of people who have great success as it helps you taper and dont really want abstinence, but some of given up completely. I want to do it but just dont feel ready, there i also issues that gps arent very well informed and wont presribe it. If you ever want to chat privately you can pm me x

5

Hi sweety you and your body are not totally dependant on alcohol. I am a recovered alcoholic am 48 yrs old and stopped 8 yrs ago due to a diagnosis of Korsakoff's syndrome. It's a brain disorder which affects the frontal lobe of the brain which is memory and short term memory loss. I had to give up my house and job due to my condition. I drank 2 litres vodka and good old fashioned gut rott cider for years. I now not only suffer with my Dimentia but very bad circulation arthritis which is very painful at times all due to alcohol abuse. I am registered disabled due to my memory and did at the time spent 6 weeks in hospital with brain scans education in the basics of washing and eating and learning to feed myself again. Yes I was a newborn baby again all due to alcohol and my own ignorance. It is poison and so many people do think they don't have a problem but they DO !! If at any stage you do feel you are slipping down that road go to you GP and go through it all with them. I am on meds for the rest of my life and 70% of my past had gone due to Dimentia. Don't leave it DEAL WITH IT !! Take Care x

6

If you are in the UK (or elsewhere in Europe) you should look into using a medication called nalmefene (brand name Selincro) to help you in your goal of alcohol reduction.

It is specifically approved for those who have 'mild to moderate' alcohol dependency, and who have found that they cannot reduce their alcohol consumption on their own.  If you are currently drinking around 5 units a day for a woman (or 7.5 units for a man) then you should look to see if you think this medication will help.  It is safe and non-addictive.

Many doctors don't know much about it, so you may need to do a little research of your own before you approach your doc.  Google 'Nalmefene TA325 Information for the public' and 'NHS Choices Alcohol Misuse Treatment' to read more about it.

The reason you struggle to reduce, or stop, on your own is because your brain has learned that it gets a chemical reward/relief from those drinks.  It expects it, especially as a go-to response to particular triggers in your life.  And when you remove that reward that it has come to expect, it starts to fight back and nag and nag you until you give in and give it what it wants.  Your brain has 'learned' what is rewarding and wants more.  Nalmefene can help you by blocking that learning experience, and after a while of drinking without that reinforcement, your brain will basically 'unlearn' it.

7

Try Naltrexone, but first read the book A Cure for Alcoholism.  Don’t be so hard on yourself.

My Dr told me that my anxiety was caused by my drinking or at least made worse.

Look into The Sinclair Method 

8

What a story and you are fairly young to be this sick..I feel for you. This is like a motivational speaker..what to do, do not drink or see the effects. Thanks for your honest reply

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Thanks honesty and truth is the only thing when handling addictions of any kind ignorance isn't a good option ever !!

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I will be honest, I had to look up Korsakoff's syndrome. You are dealing with a great deal and still managing to be supportive and helpful to others. Thank you for taking the time to read my situation and respond with caring and understanding advice.

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Hmmm. I typed out a reply and liked your comment once already but it did not show. Just wanted to say thanks for your response and agree on Soberistas as a great resource. I tried the free trial but it expired before I got up the courage to post and am sadly too cheap to pay for the membership. Plus it's UK based while I'm in Canada. I might give it a try again. I still receive their emails.

Thanks again.

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I also replied to your response once but it does not show. I just wanted to thank you for taking the time to relate where you are at with this journey, too. I am trying to take things slow, trying to replace my learned habit with other, healthier alternatives but I think I will need further intervention as I just can't do it on my own. I'm curious about the tablets you were prescribed. Other people have suggested nalmefene or naltrexone. Was it either of those? And in which country do you live? I'm in Canada.

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Your very welcome ! I wouldn't personally recommend it to anyone but it is out there and the amount of people now being diagnosed with Korsakoff's syndrome is huge . Help is there but most importantly NEVER give up on yourself ! Good old fashioned saying !! Baby steps !! It does work i am living proof !! Take Care x

14

Thanks again Smudged for having the energy to reply and give advice. I also had to Google Korsakof and wonder if my father had this since he certainly had dementia and had been drinking heavily for nearly 35 years before he stopped aged 60. Joined the AA and sober for 19 years and passed away aged 79...You are brave!

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Thanx for that yes it does sound like it and it does actually make me wonder whether my grandmother died of Korsakoff's also. The symptoms and her memory and so forth sounds exactly like I was back in my day with it all. I am now thinking more about it I am certain. She did bless her actually die of a heart attack which is also know with uncontrolled Korsakoff's with obvious starvation of the body and brain !! Not nice either but like I have said there is life past addiction and also having my Dimentia makes me more determined with life !! I would much rather deal with my health issues than go back to my past life. I am waiting for major bowel surgery at the moment for my 3 bowel diseases but do look at that as another triumph and maybe one day my knight in shining armour might ride along !! Take good care of you is also a very good saying ! People with addictions get slammed all the time. If only people really knew what it is really like they wouldn't think twice about knocking people in these terrible situations and who indeed can a day do recover !! 😆

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Naltrexone is for Canada.  (nalmefene is only available in Europe).

Google C Three Foundation and you will find a list of doctors on their 'Find A Physician' page who understand about this medication and can assess you for naltrexone if you decide that is the way you want to go :-)

17

I know your message was months ago but I just read it and it resonated with me. My drinking pattern was much like yours only I did not get up to a bottle by myself. But yes, every night 2-3 glasses of wine and more at social occasions…weddings, bookclub.
I did not drink to blackout and never got slurry, sloppy. I did experience mood swings…after a glass of wine or two would get very chatty and up and then would sit down to dinner and mood would shift to anger, bitchiness.
I also have a long term anxiety disorder for which I’ve taken an antidepressant for 15 years. It has worked very well for me and kept me out of the weeds of severe anxiety. Well, I stopped drinking entirely 2+ months ago and for the first 4 weeks felt really good! My moods were much more positive, felt better physically, really energized…almost a little too much energized. After a few stressors in the course of a week, I began to experience a return of the panicky anxiety that hadbeen kept at bay for years.
The thinking is that alcohol helped tamp it down along withmy antodepressant but once the alcohol was removed, my brain went a bit haywire. MY Gp has recommended an increase in my AD and I am a few weeks into that. Things are going in the right direction but it has been, byfar, the hardest thing related to my quitting alcohol. Just thought i’d share and would be curiousto hear where you are at these days. I wish you well!