I was diagnosed with herpes 2 months ago. I am an 18 year old girl, I've only been with two people sexually. I keep questioning why this happened to me, what I did to deserve this. The person who gave it to me won't talk to me. I'm numb towards everything. It's impossible for me to seek help because I can not put how I'm feeling into words. I have only had one outbreak so far, but the stress of another one popping up stresses me out beyond belief. I don't know where to turn with this, so here I am. Can anyone help me? If what I said even makes sense. I can not have a good day..EVER. The thought of herpes is constantly in the back of my mind. Has anyone found an outlet to help them when they can not get this horrid experience out of their mind?
Unknown, it has only been two months for you, cut yourself some slack. I was very much in the same place as you two months after. What I can tell you is this, w time it does become easier. You start to accept it for what it is and that it is not you. Being diagnosed w herpes, most certainly is devastating news at first and it is normal to go through the grieving process. I still think about it every day, through out the day, but not the way it was the first few monthe after I got it, where it consumed every waking moment. I couldn't have a conversation w someone, w out feeling like it's whispering in my head: herpes, herpes, herpes. I kept feeling and wondering if people knew, by just standing there speaking w me. It's all in our head. I was unable the first few months to go out and have fun, w out it consuming my thoughts. By 3 months, I noticed I was having fun for an hr and it didn't pop up in my head and I was having fun even. MY first outing, almost two months later w a bunch of people, I had to experience my first herpes joke too. Be prepared that you're going to watch movies that make a joke about it or friends will make ignorant jokes. You have to just blow it off and remember, they could very likely have it and be making fun of themselves w out even realizing it and that's how I like to think
By 4 months, I could go out all night and have fun and not let it consume me. I will say, it took 5 months for me not to feel guilty for flirting w a guy, like I was lying to him. I have had this since last July and I can handle going on dates now, but I don't think it's the right time in my life right now.
You have to stop worrying about the next ob, it will not be like your first. I had a horrendous reaction to herpes and I've yet to come across a story that is equally as horrid as mine, w severe neuropathy, that required me getting on anticonvulsant medication. I kept taking daily suppressive therapy up till two months ago and had an ob about twice a month and it didn't hurt. Feels tender, but it was a bump or two and only once did a bump ulcerate. Not being on meds I had an internal ob on my period, but that only bothers me on the third day w tampon use when it appears and I'm about done w my period at that point anyway. I've had anal fissures not on meds and they don't hurt and a couple itchy bumps on my buttock, but no bumps or sores on my vagina. What I have dealt w, which everyone is different, is extreme fatigue after hrs of physical activity a couples times.
So you have got to stop worrying, because that will cause an ob. The obs after the primary are really minor and you can work out and go about your daily life, as if nothing happened. It is not gonna put you on your @$$ like you're anticipating it to do, like your primary ob.
So be patient and let your mind heal from this too. Ironically, the mont pain and injury as a result of herpes is not physical, but emotionally. Your life will go on honey, be patient you will start laughing and smiling again.
Things you can do to boost your immune system are as follows and the first one being the most pertinent: daily probiotic w live culture, high doses of vitamin C, D, Bs, zinc and magnesium.
Now hold that chin up and live your life like it could be gone tomorrow. Worrying about herpes and letting it ruin your life is a waste and nothing, when you may not even have a tomorrow to worry about it w.
Feelbroken, your response helped me tremendously. Knowing that it's okay to feel like this is very comforting. I need to learn that although I may have herpes, it does not define me as a person. I have considered talking to a therapist about this. I haven't told my parents about my diagnosis, so they think I am depressed for no reason. I really have a hard time confiding in someone. It's most difficult when I am around my boyfriend. Long story, but I got herpes from someone while we were broken up. Before we got back together I told him about my diagnosis. Surprisingly, he's very supportive emotionally and wants to help me in any way. It's difficult for me because I don't feel like I deserve to be loved. I am worried I'm putting too much on him. I feel like I'm rambling, but thank you so much for your response. I really needed it.
Feelbroken, your response helped me tremendously. Knowing that it's okay to feel like this is very comforting. I need to learn that although I may have herpes, it does not define me as a person. I have considered talking to a therapist about this. I haven't told my parents about my diagnosis, so they think I am depressed for no reason. I really have a hard time confiding in someone. It's most difficult when I am around my boyfriend. Long story, but I got herpes from someone while we were broken up. Before we got back together I told him about my diagnosis. Surprisingly, he's very supportive emotionally and wants to help me in any way. It's difficult for me because I don't feel like I deserve to be loved. I am worried I'm putting too much on him. I feel like I'm rambling, but thank you so much for your response. I really needed it.
yes we all have gone through that phase.. i have had it for 8 yrs now! its difficult because u cant talk to everyone about it which sucks. yes there are def tons of herpes jokes out there and i get annoyed everytime i hear one only because its not funny.. this is life changing . you cant keep thinking about because that will only cause u stress and stress causes ob... im actually trying some natural remedies which i think is working! im actually trying to cure even though doctors say you cant curs it.. im thinking positive! with that and prayer i will cure this horrible disease!!! you will fight this too! good luck!
Good, I'm glad that you feel better. Hun, I'm 33 and I cried daily for two months I think and then intermittently about it for a few more. I'd have days as this will not destroy me, to the next feeling angry, to the next feeling dirty and unworthy. My healing is not quite over, but I have come to realize that it actually isn't so much about the herpes anymore, it's just I never thought I was worthy before I got it. I think so many of us get lost and hung up on something that we think adds to our reject list and forget that we had a list that existed before herpes.
I sincerely believe that although one will be rightfully upset w the diagnosis, if they had self worth, confidence and love for themselves like they should before H, they would never allow it to bring them to such a low sense of self being. In this acknowledgement of ones self, should be a wakeup call to your conscious self, that you need to give much self love to your subconscious being (where we hold 80% of out beliefs, based on experience, fears and pain).
I think kt is a tremendous idea to go see a therapist. Do your due diligence on interviewing a therapist to make sure they are right for you. The best ones I think to find, are ones that specifically deal w drug users that have contracted say HIV, Hep C; diagnosis that you have for life.
The reason I recommend this type of therapist, is I have heard some speak on having encountered a judgmental therapist. This would mean that they are completely ignorant and lack any knowledge on the disease. A therapist that deals w heavy drug users, particularly the ones who share needles, is likely very well versed and educated on herpes, because the percentage of HIV patients having herpes is extremely prevelant... Don't quote me, but I believe numbers such as 7 to 9 out of 10,infected w HIV, are infected w genital herpes as well. I just know, that is much higher than the 1 out of 4 women in the US.
A site that I think would be extremely therapeutic for you and has counselors on there who have H and are there to respond to every single post, has educational videos and pamphlets to download, is a friendly support community, not just a forum like how this is, has success stories in disclosing, in failures, in all the subjects surrounding this topic and can even provide counseling sessions, H-Opportunity. Go ahead and good H opportunity forums and check it out before creating an account. It is a very positive and nurturing environment that isn't just around the bad medical side of this condition, but the emotional experience and all the steps they go through. People come back on after a year or two being gone, as they had started living their life and were checking back in to write a story to encourage newbies, that they were just like yoiba year or 20yrs ago. It is very inspirational and I think exactly what you need.
.that's great that your bf accepted you and you are right, it is you who is not feeling worthy enough, that you're telling someone else what choice they should make to be w you. So this brings us back to what I said earlier... There was a lack of self love and respect before, so we need to get to work on that. Whenever you need someone to vent to, feel free to private message me any time. I am going to go ahead and join that site too, as I've been reading all the stories for like a month now or more.
Remember, you deserve to be loved just as much now, if not more, than you did before this. Our society wants to stigmatiz genital herpes, yet 80% of them have it on their mouth. 90% by the time they are an adult will be carriers to 3-6 at least, of the 8 human herpes viruses.
- HSV 1 aka, oral herpes. 80-90% of population by the time they are adults
-HSV 2 aka, genital herpes. Not sure world wide numbers, but can assure you especially in third world countries is very high, but in the US it is 20% w HSV genitally, not taking into account, the number of genital infections by HSV 1.
- HHV3/VZV, aka, known as chicken pox as child and the recurrence as an adult, as shingles.
All three of those HHV, reside in the Alpha herpes group and just about everyone by 40, will have had two out of those 3.
-HHV4/EBV, aka, mono, the kissing disease. Not everyone will actually come down w mono when you catch this, but just about everyone will test positive for it and it can have recurrence in life, wrecking much more havoc to your health, than either HSV 1 or 2, could ever do. If you're over the age of 18, people can pretty much bet they have this and it plays part in chronic fatigue syndrome MS and other autoimmune diseases.
-HHV5/CMV, this is another monolucios virus as isn't cousin stated up above. However, this one is usually quiet and occurred as an infant/toddler, yet deadly if you have a recurrence and are going through cancer treatment and especially for organ transplant recipients.
-HHV6 and 7, we all will likely have, especially 6, as I believe that one is transmitted by respiratory function as infants. HHV8, is found in HIV patients and is a type of blood tumor/cancer I believe.
So these very people who are making jokes about Amy of us and think we are dirty, are dirty then too, as many of those arw contracted through bodily fluids from sex and kissing.
So yeah... If you're dirty... Then so is every one else, so you're really not the odd ball out now are you? They just get to hide their "dirty" status a little easier than we can. So don't feel so bad hun and enjoy the rest of your weekend!
It will get easier. And by the way they will probably find a cure in our lifetime.