Unsteady/off balance feeling.

Mental health
1

I am really struggling with my anxiety and agoraphobia at the moment but trying hard to keep up with going out in the hope that exposure to the fear will eventually reduce it again.

Anyway when I am out I frequently feel unsteady on my feet to the point where I have to lean on something or hold onto my husband's arm, usually this tends to happen in the supermarket, my anxiety hates them.

However this morning I had an attack of it that was very sudden and very intense, I had gotten out of the car and was standing on the pavement waiting for my husband to get his wallet.

Suddenly I felt an incredible surge of unsteadiness, I actually screamed out to my husband, I felt as if I was weak all over, going to fall down and had absolutely no balance at all, I couldn't move until my husband was by my side and I could hold onto his arm.

On the way there I had been feeling nervous and had butterflies in my tummy and chest, I knew to expect some symptoms but that was just horrifying and a panic level that was impossible to get a hold on.

I am used to feeling moderately unsteady but not that intense, we went into the supermarket and I felt horrid but managed it then I went to the kiosk to get some ciggarettes and it happened again although this time more briefly because it kicked in just as I was getting my change so I was able to move away and hold hubbys arm until we got back to the car.

Now because I am trying to use CBT techniques that I have been taught along the way I took a break, went for a cold drink then returned to the supermarket, it didn't happen that time, I had slight unsteadiness but nothing like the first time.

My question really is why does anxiety cause such awful and sudden unsteadiness and is there any way to cope with it and reduce it?

I have been seen by a doctor and assured that it's not physical, I know that anyway because last time I went through a very hard time I had unsteadiness but not the sudden, intense panic attack inducing horror that I had this morning, it's bad enough being anxious allof the time but when you can't stand still and have tohang onto your husband's arm for security it makes you feel like a child, I just do not know how to cope with this anymore.

2

You are doing a superb job bella! Fantastic, superb job. Keep it up. You are very preprogrammed to the immediate fight or flight response. You are doing exactly what needs to be done to undo the bad habits and connections your mind and body has sottered together. As you walk thru and beging healing you will meet challeneges. Your mind will try to trick you back into its old comfy ways and so will your body. Picture anxiety as a bully. A little ugly bully dude. So here you are doing everything right and feeling a tad better and this little bully is like..hold up we used to panic when went out,what are you doing i want to panic it feels right now you want me to do this! No i wont and hey "remember" me i made you "feel" these pains and the body says hey yes  remember that what is she doing having these good thoughts then it becomes ..why isnt she listening to me anymore ill give her a real zinger because she told us this was dangerous for so long..i will  get her attention so she goes back to the usual way to feel and then  BOOM the anxiety bully is tantruming and trying every trick in the book to get your attention. Your response was perfect. You go back and challenge it. Too bad on the anxiety bully. Too bad in what the body rememebers or the thoughts try and conjure up..challenege it. And it feels wicked at times. Too bad. Eventually as you well have learned now ..it does stop. Retrain your brain, reprogram your lifestyle and basically aspects  your personality.you are slowly breaking the habits of you. Its a long process you have been like this a long time. Im am so proud of you! You are an inspiration to every person battleing agoraphobia and have come a LONG way since a few months ago! Be very weary of the anxiety bully and his tantrums that will cime with it, its tricks and lies you so know that! It is exhausting, draining and messed up dealing and challenging it but the rewards one day will be Your  freedom and living a normal life. 

3

I too suffer horribly from balance disorder with my agoraphobia. I don't have the answer, many years later, as to why this occurs. I came to believe that the heightened tension we feel when going out, which is always difficult for an agoraphobic, triggers the unsteadiness which in turn ignites panic because there is nowhere to sit down and nothing to cling to whilst we calm our nerves.

Whenever I go to the supermarket, even if I only need a few things, I always use a trolly. It's a crutch of sorts. It calms me having something to hold on to. It grounds me so to speak and takes away the fear of falling over

Queues are another horror for agoraphobics. The tension required to stand still is enornmous.

I have known people use walking sticks and why not? Anything that reassures us is helpful.

Don't lose heart. I have been a long term agoraphobic and have learned to be kind to myself, not to push myself but neither to avoid things and places. Avoidance entrenches us into full blown agoraphobia where we dare not leave the house.

It's not all grim. Research all you can on the subject. It's a huge help having all the information  and how to help yourself! I now accept that it's part of my psyche. I accept it's there and get on with it. This does much to alleviate the symptoms, I promise you will feel better if you do not add panic to fear. If the symptoms come over you then let them. Don't fear them or shrink from them and they will soon subside

You'll get there

4

Oh Lisa! For once, words fail me!

Thank you dear, thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5

All i can provide are words Helen, its a forum. I am sorry words failed you.  Bella has come miles and miles forward and i am just so very proud of her. 

6

I was like this a few months back it's was very bad like you I was holding onto everyone to get around and had bad episode in Walmart thought I was gonna die couldn't feel my legs and was weak and very dizzy. It's subsided on its own as being that severe but I'm still struggling with off balance woozy feeling all day everyday.

7

Every word you wrote was so insighful and to me, anyway, inspiring. So yet again, thank you!

8

I agree that Lisa's answers are more and more inspired. What a blessing you both are.

9

You know, Cia, sometimes we cannot see our own problems clearly. Yes, from the outside looking in we can help others. But from the inside looking out we cannot at times help ourselves.

I was so grateful for Lisa's post. Anxiety Bully? Oh yes! Re-train our brain? Oh yes!

Never occured to me. But you know what? It's another lifeline to cling to!

Another positive step to take....yipeeeeeeeeee

10

Thank you so much Lisa, you are such a wonderful voice of reason and you are spot on about everything.

Anxiety loves to play it's nasty tricks and it is always intent on throwing in a nasty shock just when you think you are managing it, like this morning I was thinking 'Okay I have the butterflies but that is fine, I can manage that' and then it decided that because I could manage that it would throw something at me to really rock me and get me to a state I couldn't cope with.

I know it takes some time to work through it again, it's been a nasty relapse this time and I have been challenging it on a daily basis whilst functioning on very little sleep, it has been so upsetting for me because as soon as I felt that relapse begin I did everything I could to challenge it, I went out more than ever but it got worse.

I then had a stressful event that made it even harder to deal with so I feel like I have been going backwards despite doing the right things but persistence is key and I know that, it does take time, energy and it is a struggle, you feel like you are going to have to give up but at the same time you know that giving up is not an option.

One day the nasty bully that is anxiety will get the message, one day the hard work, tears and frustration will pay off and once again I will feel better and be able to enjoy life again.

I do lose my self belief at times and it's hard at the moment because I am distressed every day and the children are off school so I hate them seeing me in that mess, it picked a terrible time to get so bad again but I just have to do the best I can with it.

A CPN suggested I avoid supermarkets, she said that since I am struggling to get out of the door and supermarkets are especially difficult I should stop going, I said no way, you do not ever avoid places that trigger the worst of your anxiety, you go back and do it very day because it's the only way through it in the end.

It's hard though, I sound a lot stronger than I feel and am already dreading tomorrow, I know it will have me up at 6am panicking,crying and saying I can't go out of the door but the reality is that I do have to stand up to this bully or I will never get my life back.

 

11

You were told to avoid supermarkets? I'm horrified! Avoidance is the worst you can do to yourself. What's a CPN? Some kind of nurse? IF so they should be struck off! Appalling advice!

I'm amazed how good a handle you have on this and your strength of character in facing the difficulties, especially the supermarket.

Good for you!

12

In  the very wise words of some stupid little blue fish (dory) ..."just keeo swimming" 

13

Lol! Life sure isn't boring with you around, Lisa

14

Hi Helen and thank you, it's a nightmare of an illness isn't it? It makes sense though about the tension and how it ignites the panic and especially when there is nowhere to sit and you have to keep walking on.

I got to the cinema the other day, walking in I had the balance issue, moderate that time, I sat down and felt very anxious at first but my husband said 'Give it time' and besides the kids really wanted to see that film so I tried to loosen my body as best I could and the anxiety reduced as I remained in my seat, we went for lunch and sat there it wasn't too bad but walking to the restaurant was dreadful.

I agree about queues, absolutely hate them, I hate the checkout area of the supermarket where you have to stand still, the kiosk where I buy my ciggies is awful even if there is no queue because of course you are trapped, tense and having to stand still to the point where by the time you have finished being served it has built up and whooshes you with panic, I will be so unsteady by that point that I will run to my husband to grab hm for support.

I know I must not avoid and that if I do it will only worsen the situation but my own courage or lack of it scares me, I get worked up just leaving the house these days and feel like I can't do it, I have done it every day so far but each morning is the same feeling of fear and feeling I can't get past that door again, I just have to keep pushing it.

I am a great believer in accepting symptoms because I know they depend on our fear of them to thrive and keep going but sometimes it throws a real nasty at me like today and that was so sudden that I just couldn't grab it, there was no time to prepare for it, at least I know for next time though, I know it might happen again and can remember that as awful as it is it did not harm me and even though it left me shaken we even still managed to get the shopping done, go for a drink and then I went back so that should teach it a lesson.

If I have to hold onto my husband's arm I will do so, I did that for a long time last time things got bad and then gradually found I was able to let go for a few seconds, then longer and longer until I realised I wasn't holding on anymore, you sound like you are doing a wonderful job with your agoraphobia, you are in charge of it which is great, I think that is the ultimate goal for me, right now it has all of the power, all of the control and I just need to keep working to get it back.

15

Hi Pamela,so sorry to hear that you have been struggling too, it is a horrible feeling but I am glad that it has subsided to some extent for you and hope it continues to improve.

I honestly think that you saw some improvement because you kept going with it even though it was so hard, it takes an awful lot of time but accepting symptoms and facing them does work in seeing them reduce, we just have to be very strong but we are strong, we live through these struggles every day and that in itself proves how stong we truly are.

16

I was horrified too,honestly I sometimes think that we are more qualified than the so called proffessionals! A CPN is a community psychiatric nurse yes, they give advice and support.

That however is the worst piece of advice I have ever heard, we all know not to avoid,surely they should know that too.

Thank you, I try so hard and can only hope I have the strength to carry on trying until things improve.

17

No, no, no, it doesn't hold all the power, not in you! I see a woman taking the symptoms by the scruff of the neck and dealing with them as opposed to crumbling before them and giving in

Going out, that first step is the hardest as is the desire to "Get it over with as fast as possible"

But what you did yesterday you can do today and therefore tomorrow. You especially because you have accepted exactly what it is and what you must to to deal with it.

I'm filled with admiration, more so because I know how hard  it is..especially  where unsteadiness and balance are concerned because most people suffers symptoms others are unaware of. Balance and unsteadiness are visible and this adds extra anxiety in trying to look "normal " when out and about

I think you are an inspiration. people like you fly the flag for all other agoraphobics and don't you ever forget it!

Hugs

18

Lisa that is the movie we took the kids to see the other day and I keep singing that little song to myself, all through the journey today and then when I returned to that supermarket I was singing (in my mind, not out loud) 'Just keep swimming, just keep swimming'.

19

Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee is exactly it.

20

Thank you Helen, I am trying so hard to tackle those symptoms but gosh they really are a stinger at times, I panic and cry every morning, anxiety wakes me at 6am and from that very second the fear is there.

I have no idea how I have managed to get out of that door every day so far and no idea how I will again but I have to believe that I can because as you say I did it yesterday, I did it today and so I have to believe that I can do it again tomorrow.

I agree about the whole trying to look normal thing, some symptoms can be hidden but when you are gripping onto things and so unsteady people do notice and it makes you very self aware which is horrible.

Thank you so much, the support and encouragement I get from here is invaluable.