Unwanted implants: removal

Hi, I am pretty sure that I have some implants in my anus and foot, and likely in my back.  I frequently get people making weird hand gestures at me and then I feel the electrical shocks in my anus and foot.  It is like they are pretending to do it with their non-existent psychic powers, but I think I it is merely small implants which use the photoelectric effect to electrocute me in the anus and foot with their remote controls.  I want to get them removed because I do not like it when people have a remote control with which they can electrocute my anus and foot.  What would be my starting point for getting a full body scan to detect whether or not there are implants?  What kind of scan detects such objects?  MRI, CAT...?