I think it must be true what they say about one has to hit rock bottom before deciding giving up drinking. I tried many times and failed. I am now trying again. This my 4th day and don't have long time projects. I try to do it a day at a time and when I feel like a drink I try to go over all the list of pain and problems that alcohol has been causing me for years in my life. It is v early days but the main thing is that now I feel I have no more options left. It is staying sobre or losing completely control over my life... Thanks for listaning and sharing. Wish you strength. M
Hi Mary I'm in the same situation you do have to hit rock bottom which I have , I am only starting my journey and like you I can't wait to feel the benefits of quitting due to physical symptoms, 4 days that brilliant keep up the good luck keep strong and try not to look back look at the amazing future you will have x
You don't have to hit rock bottom, that is a misnomer. Real rock bottom can mean death or serious damage to the internal organs. Usually we get a jolt, that stirs us into action and gives us some determination to do something about it.
How long have you been drinking for?
Thanks Leilalouise. I am quite fearful and anxious. But it will keep getting better. It would be nice not feeling guilty or sick... How many days of sobriety has been for you? I am glad for you :-) and wish you find the strength you need.
M x
I don't know how much damage there is to my health but there must be some I guess.
There was always alcohol around in my family but looking back I can see that my consumption and dependancy kept consistently increasing. It is time to draw a line and find a better way of being.
I feel awfully tired and sad too...
I only started posting today as of tomorrow I am determined to be sober, alcohol has been controlling my life for around 18 years , and I'm so tired and fed up it's definitely breaking point for me, I wake up with guilt everyday that oh I've done it again and it's became a vicious circle, we can do this it's great how supportive everyone on here is x
Mary, the classic point of view is that people return to drinking because they haven't hit rock bottom and/or they aren't making good choices. That premise is obsolete. Alcohol addiction is actually a medical condition that comes about due to the changes alcohol makes in the brain. Have a look at this link, under the heading for The Sinclair Method:
http://patient.info/forums/discuss/useful-resources-487627
Also, google:
Claudia Christian TEDx talk
This will tell you why you have tried and failed so many times, as do the lion's share of those that try to quit drinking by following the traditional "treatment" guidelines.
The link that ADE has sent you and the Claudia Christian talk on TED was a huge turning point for me - after watching that I read up about TSM and received so much help on here that I know my life will change for the better now - yours can too - take the advice from the people on here that you will soon realise know exactly what they're talking about! I'm only a few days in so on auto-excited-burble 😃 But a much preferred feeling to desperately craving my next drink! 😬
Hi mary, glad you posted - great guys on here. I think maybe by "rock bottom" you probably mean in your head - you are not at rock bottom in reality. I know you get to a point when you are sick and tired of feeling sick and tired and waking up in the morning with the guilts. Then the day starts all over again. You are being pro-active and that is positive and you are taking control. You may or may not need some help with meds and the guys will explain. I, so far, have tapered down by about 65% and can see and feel the difference. You will too, and that spurs you on. You start realising you are not so knackered - it is so good.
I, too, have tried and failed so many times - I have been drinking every day for about 40 years - but the last year got real bad in terms of upping the ante - and I knew I was on a hiding to hell. I confessed to my doc who just referred me to Alcohol Recovery which is not in my area - no thanks, not my scene. So I demanded my willpower would come forward and save me - so far it is doing me proud and please let it stay that way. Lots of us on here have a (in our mind) good reason for blanking out stuff in our past - and I really have - but that keeps going on and on when suddenly the lightbulb moment struck and I realised, well what is done is in the past - I can't live in the past anymore, I need to live in the future just like so many of us here.
Whatever had you take to the bottle is in the past now - your future is with your stronger way of thinking, it has to be because as the TV advert says "You are worth it".
Keep calm and follow these posts.
G.
Good replies from LeilaLouise and Mary indeed!! your journey has just started and please try to stick to being sober. Robin
The 'rock bottom' concept is an outdated one.
Do we tell people addicted to smoking to keep smoking until they get lung cancer, or do we encourage them to seek early treatment?
Do we tell a woman who finds a lump in their breast to ignore it until it becomes life threatening, or do we encourage them to seek early treatment?
Do we tell those with diabetes to carry on as they are until the early diabetes become type 2 diabetes and in the process shorten their life and damage their internal organs, or do we encourage them to seek early treatment?
Hopefully, you see my point.
There are many ways to treat the various stages of alcohol use disorder, and the earlier help is sought, the better. When that rock bottom concept was 'born', we knew nothing about the brain and how the pathways that influence the reward system in the brain are changed when alcohol (or drugs) are involved. Each time you drink, there is a pathway in your brain that goes 'wow, that was a nice sensation, what a nice hit of chemicals that released'. So, if caught early, before that pathway becomes super strengthened and starts endlessly to want (crave) alcohol, the easier it is to interrupt the process.
As I say, many treatments are available - including some safe, and non-addictive medications - that can help you weaken and eventually completely break down that strengthened pathway in your brain that now associates alcohol = chemical reward.
If you break your leg would you hobble around without an aid, or would you take the crutch that is offered and use it to support you until you heal?
You are right Joanna, thanks. But I meant "rock bottom" psychologically. Also my life became more complicated than necessary. Sure the earlier one realises and gets out of the vicious circle the better it is.
Thanks Gwen. You described so much better the way I feel than I did it myself. Also, as you rightly say one of my reason for turning to alcohol was to blank the past hurts but it took me some time to realise that I was just making things worse for myself. I just pray I will learn to cope better with anxiety, fears and upset that life can throw at us...
Nice talking to you,
M.
Leilalouise, we are on the same boat.
I am tired and fed up. It is awful living with the guilt day in day out.
Let me know how you are doing. We should hold hands and keep going.
Yes, it is nice being here and getting so much understanding and support. It means a lot.
Hug,
M x
Hi Mary and Leilalouise....i can so empathise with you both,,,alcoholism is not fun...
I had a VERY, very, bad alcohol problem for more than ten years, I was SECTIONED four times...weighed 5st 10lbs, near death quite a few times...i never ate, I just drank...went from wine....to vodka...then on to cheap white cider....
I admit , I was forced into stopping...but my God..!!!! I have got my life back..i feel healthy, I do not avoid seeing anyone I know...i actually like myself again. And I am not SCARED STIFF 24 hrs a day...
You can do it, honestly...ask your GP for help, also your local DRUGS AND ALCOHOL SUPPORT TEAM...for help...
Remember,, !!! WE are not bad...weak...stupid...evil...selfish people...we have a problem that we loathe, and we also hate ourselves...you can get help from many services, PLEASE ask your gp...
You can get your life back..even better than before !!!! Because, you have had the COURAGE. AND THE STRENGTH...to overcome, an ABSOLUTELY Hellish addiction...it takes guts, hard work, and many tears....
Your life will be wonderful, you will have great empathy and understanding of others facing their terrifying demons !!!
Hold your head up high...if you slip...just pick yourself up !! And carry on...you can. And will get there...
We all deserve to be sober, and to like ourselves once more....we are not BAD...EVIL OR WEAK...we just react differently to others...i wish you both...and all others, hope...joy...love...peace...and a wonderful future....the future you SO..SO..SO DESERVE,..XXX my motto is...never give up...giving up....much love...warm hugs,...and truly sincere love to all who are struggling at the moment....you WILL GET THERE, HONESTLY...TRULY...AND VERY, VERY, VERY ...PROUDLY XXXXXXX
HI Deidre..what a story and I do remember you from the previous posts. How long sober may I ask?? You are an inspiration to us all. Robin
Hi Deirdre,
Many thanks for your lovely letter that gave me hope and strength to face the day.
I am so glad you have your life back and can enjoy being you.
Yes, people consider you bad and selfish; they don't know that the more you hate yourself the more you are bound to drink.
I tried AA many times but didn't work for me.
Now I know it is down to me.
It is my 5th day. I can't think about the future. I just keep going.
I am grateful for the understanding and the support I find here.
It does really help.
Big hug to you and best wishes,
Mary
Hi Mary and Robin...many sincere thanks for both of your lovely replies....
I have been sober now for 14 yrs...i drank for 10 yrs from the age of 40 to 50.yrs...
I got hooked very, very quickly, I drank because I was bullied at work...i just walked out in the end....my family and the mental health team were an amazing help...they supported me all the way through...after my fourth section, I never had a drop of alcohol for 1 yr.....after that time period, I found that I could have a couple of drinks, and then stop...we go out twice a week as a family. I have two drinks, and a little more wine when I get home....
Very, very occasionally I have a few too many....BUT....AND IT IS A BIG BUT !!!! WHEREAS in the past I would have craved another drink the next day...but that has been gone for 14yrs....thank God....
The worst part for me when I drank heavily, was the SHEER TERROR of having NO ALCOHOL IN MY HIDING PLACES...the sheer, utter panic was crippling !!!! But if I knew that I had a bottle for emergencies, I was okay....i have a couple of drinks twice a week, and I go home sober....if I can stop. Then never lose hope for yourselves...my whole life has changed, so much, I sleep, eat, garden. And when I look at my families faces now...when they look at me..all of the fear has gone...thank God, it helps all of us to relax....
NEVER, ever, ever !!!! punish yourself or feel guilt wracked if you have a slip..Just pick yourself up....and try again...it took me a very long time to think every single day..that I have not drunk for days, weeks or months....but PLEASE..PLEASE...PLEASE....never ever, ever, GIVE UP....GIVING UP XXX I WISH YOU ALL STRENGTH, COURAGE, FAITH, RESPECT FOR YOURSELF... we can all be totally alcohol free and happy. No matter how many times we have to try....much love, warm, loving hugs...and huge SINCERE HUGS...AND GREAT COURAGE TO ALL OF YOU LOVELY, LOVED, AND STRONG PEOPLE
And WORTH IT XXX PEOPLE....MUCH LOVE...ALWAYS....XXXXXX
Yes Robin, I have posted on this sad xxx but also inspirational topic....alcohol the highly
Addictive problem...nowadays....almost every single one, will make you desire another....
But ROBIN...we can, and will be sober,,,we DESERVE TO....much respect, warm hugs...and very, very, very good wishes for your future....
HUGS...hugs.....hugs.....hugs.....hugs.....I ALWAYS, my friend...much love today and everyday....xxxxx
Hi Deirdre,
Many thanks for writing and supporting us.
I guess my drinking got out of hand because the unhappiness I experienced in my work place. My life there became hellish despite the fact that I liked my job. I had a breakdown and at the end resigned but still miss the fulfillement the job part gave me.
I tend to look back and get depressed about it but I feel better about it now. So, I can understand that bullying can push one to the edge. Hope you found a better job. I couldn't since I wasn't that young any more.
Your story gives me so much hope. Not drinking for a year is a dream I am looking forward to achieve. Then I will see... I try not to make too many big projects. Now my aim is to get over this week and then the next...
I recognise the fear you are describing too well but it is bound to get easier now that I made this fresh start.
I failed many times but as you say, we have to try again and again until we make it.
I can't cope with the mess and hurt drink causes in my life and especially the life of my loved ones. Nothing will make disappear the misery I caused them. I am lucky I still have my family.
Yesterday was trying as I was alone most of the day and the devil was tempting me to just have a little drink! I got busy having a bath, doing my hair and then watching the soaps and, the bad time of craving passed.
Thanks again and wish you a lovely day!
Love, M xx