Hi Luke,
Yes that is a high dose and perhaps they took you down too quickly to begin with. What your experiencing is Normal, well it should not be normal but from my own withdrawals i was on high doeses of Valium, Xanax and Mogadon with a shattered arm they threw in some pain killers. So i was prob on 60-70 mgs val a day and 10 xanax a day but xanax is 10 x stronger than valium so i would probably have been up near your dose. Yes I thought i had entered hell, words can't describe but what you are experiencing is very much what i was, definatly tell your doctor, as i just had complete memory loss and had a 3 min seziure ended up in hospital, I told them what i was on and doing it was all thru a doctor and they treated me with a kind of druggie attitude, that was until i had a 10 min seziure in front of them, well doctors and nurses, interns apparantly all came running as they had never seen this before. I was hallucinating badly, acting like a child, i remember bits and peices the hallucinations were the worst i was out of body and hoping i would die. I was actually above my body watching all these doc's etc working on me and that was he only time i felt no pain. They could not stop the seziuire therefore had to induce me into a coma, tube down through the whole bit machine breathing for me, i guess thats where my spirit went back into my body. Prob all hallucinations but thats how i felt and saw it. They kept me under for around a month for my body to try and repair, I had black deep bruises all over my body. Once finally woken they start asking, do you no who you are where you are etc. I did not, had no idea id been there for that long and they had actually flown me from one hospital to another.
I had Ct scans, MRI's etc all came back normal. One very nice Doctor in Neurology privatly saw me and said, Nicola i am a man of science but what i witnessed with you actually made me think perhaps there is another realm, he thought i may have been possesed as I was talking like a child one minute then calm then screaming obsenaties, pushng them away, fighting, he said you had so much strengh even though you were so ill. No head turning around etc but at one point I was screaming out for certain names and he said they were latin names and I do not no latin. So point being the subconsious mind being altered by these drugs can do crazy crazy stuff, I thought after that when I came too and was myself again although still feeling horrid with withdrawals and like you said kept feeling like i was going to have another seziure, my body would twitch and that scared me, they put me on anti seziure medication but in the coming weeks i did have more thru out the night when no one was around me. I new this because i would wake up on other side of the floor with bruises and cuts and very sore. I applaud Linda for her recovery but we are all different I'm not trying to scare you but see your doctor and tell him exactly how your feeling, dont sugar coat it. You may need more Valium in your system and come down even slower, still not plesant but beter than your feeling now.
My Exp scared me so much and thought i was crazy, i was house bound though tried meditation etc. After over a year was not feeling any better and had not taken any Valium. Saw my Psyc and he has put me back on a smallish amount and am very very very slowly tappering, they are now listening to me due to what happened. Please go tell them, I do not want any one to go thru what i did. Yes luke i understand you cant finish sentances, inner tremmors sweating shaking sick cant eat cant sleep, climbing the walls, your not alone my dear, with care and time you will get there but your GP must take this seriously he has a duty of care to you., remind him of that. God bless you and hope you start feeling better, ill be thinking of you. get back to me if you like. Nicky TAKE CARE
