Hi everyonei was wondering if I could make a new friend/s on here I'm suffering my 4th bought of depression and suicidal feelings . It always happens after a huge change in my life. I taking citralopram for the last 4 week snow but I'm feeling so desperate I just want to die instead of live . I'm trying my hardest to remain optimistic and all my friends and family know how I feel yet I feel so alone 
can anyone help please ?
Hi Lisa. The feelings you have are overwhelming and awful but you do have friends and family so hold onto that. Some go through similar things with no support at all.
is there a reason this started lisa?
Thanks Carmel .you are correct however no matter how many family and friends tell me it will all be ok ... None of them have suffered depression . I am so lonely x
you cant understand depression untill you have felt it
Yes Kirsan .. I have events that happen in my life and then I can't seem to pick myself up from them ... I get blacks journeys and just want to kill myself . In the last I have attempted this twiceand it hasn't worked .im unhappy and sad all the time . Thanks for you kind responses though x
i know how you feel, i havent recovered yet but the people on here are really nice.
Inbox me
Well I have had this depression - it is gone now and it can go for you too.
Thank you Kiran , I'm so sad it's untrue yet I know others feel the same , but I'm so absorbed in myself I barely can notice others pain x how are you feeling today x
Thanks Carmel it's the 4 the time in 25 years I've experienced this so I don't know if I will ever be free from depression . I'm thinking I've always been depressed and just have periods of time here I forget it .??? I'm so lost
Hi Lisa. There are ways you can get better from this and believe it or not positive thinking is the best way and works the quickest. Whenever I get bad I remind myself of all the good things in my life, make a list of them, no matter how trivial they seem to be. We get swamped with negative thoughts when we are like this even if our lives are far better than other peoples.s
Hi Lisa, I'm sorry things are so bad for you at the moment. I'm 29 years old and have suffered with depression since i was 11 when my dad died, so i can understand the bad times you are going through. I'm here if you want to chat x
Hi Lisa I am glad you had the courage to write on here, we all care has we are all suffering similar experiences. I have no support other than on here. This morning i rang who i thought was a friend and she said to just get on with it, of course it's not that simple. If you can try going for a walk. if not put the telly on even if your not listening to it, it will feel like your not totally alone. I didn't get up till 2pm, i wasn't sleeping but had no motivation, just managed to wash my hair at 4pm. I am anxious and have panic attacks. I find that people are very supportive on here and you can write to me anytime. You are not alone, just a click away. Please talk to people on here. Hope this helps.
Hi Elizabeth. You have to be careful when talking to "friends" because they can say the most tactless and stupid things that make you feel worse. I know what it is like to reach out for support and just be given advice - stupid advice at that. It never occurs to them that if putting on th etv or going for a walki would have helped you would have thought of it yourself, you are not stupid.
Lisa you can always ring the Samaritians if you need to talk with someone on the phone. It may get you through till your GP is open, they are very good and will not dissrespect your feelings, it's worth a try. No's are national.
The charity NO PANIC are better for these things. The samaritans believe it or not are often out of their depth and just advise you to go for a walk or watch tv too.
I didn't mean it like that it was just what i found helpful for myself. I wasn't meaning that this girl is stupid just that has a sufferer myself it might help. Sorry if it was taken wrong. Others on here have advised me the same.
Oh sorry again i've not heard of Panic . Thanks for your input.
Citalopram itself has side effects that in many people can actually increase the suicidal feelings and make you feel worse. Depression when it hits, hits hard - it does make you desperate and it is hard for people not going through it to understand such as family and friends, and even if they do understand they might not know how to help. I've suffered depression for most of my life and been given every and all therapies available.. sometimes what helps most is to talk to someone who will listen to you rather than tell you what to do. As someone said it's not generally a good idea to walk into a hospital and ask to be treated but there are agencies around that can offer some support. If you feel you need to chat give me a message. Keep smiling, you have it in you to come out the other side of this stronger x