I'm 65 and my wife has stop desiring sex for about 15yrs . I'd rather have sex with her but what can you really do. I've been masturbating since I was about 10yrs. old and it hasn't killed me yet in fact my doctor says it's good for me. I do have an enlarge prostate but that just comes with age :(
I presume that you discussed her reasons for this 15 years ago. Why not shock her by asking if you can go elsewhere. Explain to her that proper sex is good for your prostate. Perhaps she has a vibrator that she uses when you are at work so does not need you.
Me too I am masturbating very long
Have you tried talking to her? She must have her reasons for not wanting sex. She needs to feel loved, not just someone who is wanted only for sex. Obviously I am speaking as a woman and we feel differently about these things, but it’s not uncommon for the sex drive to lessen as people get older, women particularly. Buy her some flowers and chocolates and spend a nice evening with her, cuddling, but not expecting sex and maybe gently approach the subject without her feeling pressured. Forgive me for asking, but do you tell her that you love her?
Not a very nice thing to suggest Derek if you don’t mind me saying! If you love someone, you don’t threaten to go and have sex with someone else. You try and discuss the problem gently!
I think if they lived you they already understand and would let you went out to them.
He didn’t say he still loves her and she basically has cut him out of her life. He doesn’t say how well they get on or what the rest of their life together is like. They have had 15 years to discuss the problem and presumably did.
He has evidently raised the matter with their doctor perhaps they should discuss it together with him or go to Relate.
He didn’t say she had cut him out of his life, just that she didn’t want sex any more. Yes I agree that Relate would be a good idea if they are both willing as a third person might help them listen to each other’s needs. It takes two to make a marriage work and when there is a problem, each needs to hear the other and respect them.
I actually meant a major part of their life. But that part must lead to other problems in the intimacy of living together. Does she ever visualise what he is having to do in private ?
Maybe she does but it seems as if there is a breakdown in their communication with each other so couples counselling could really help them both.
If you only knew. if there’s anybody that believes an open line of communication that’s me. typically men keep a tight lip if they’re not happy which turns out tragic in a relationship and stupidity on their part. no you’re definitely wrong on this I’ve done everything possible to be open about the problem but still she would rather not talk about it. we’re not newlyweds either going on 48 years of marriage I would have never thought we would have this kind of an issue. but like I said it is what it is and I have learned to live with this circumstance.
Did you get this from patient info?https://news.patient.info/4HSP-HGK8-6A3ALPT4E0/cr.aspx
she she doesn’t even no what I’m doing it’s all done in . I’m sure she wouldn’t approve. I have seeked help from my medical professional, family members and a close friend. and all agree that I have made every effort possible to make things better.
I did some research on what was going on and I realized that menopause played a big part in this problem. it was recommended to me that she might need hormone treatment but she said she would have no part in that due to the health risk.
I 've been told that women give sex for romance and that man give romance for sex. I’ve given her flowers, take her out to eat, cuddle up to her while we’re watching TV, and even give her a massage when we go to bed and all that does is put her to sleep. you just don’t know what I’ve been putting up with I even go to a psychiatrist for this and other stressful problems.so I just go on accepting things the way they are and yes I do love my wife and desire sex from no one else but her that’s why it hurts so bad.
It sounds a sad situation all round. I hope things work out for you both. It’s nothing to do with anyone but you two but as you posted it on this forum, people will have an opinion and make suggestions, which is all I was trying to do.
Very sorry for you. It must be very difficult. It’s a shame that she won’t address the problem though it seems as if she doesn’t see it as a problem, which is sad. You do sound as if you have respected her and tried to be respectful.
No I didn’t Derek. I have my own views. It’s great for both in a relationship if sex is still important and very difficult if one’s sex drive diminishes. I hope things will work out for the chap who wrote on the forum.
She is probably past the age when hormone therapy would help. How is her general and mental health. She is of an age when a medical check up and blood tests might be of benefit. You never know she may have worries about her health and many ladies hide them out of fear or embarrassment of examination. Often better to see the practice nurse than a male GP.
Presumably as reluctant to even discuss it with you she will not have confided in anyone else or did any family members raise it with her after you spoke to them. Does she have any sisters?