I was reading a few posts and saw a theme about wanting to be more self caring and self loving towards ourselves. And I thought maybe we can share what we've done to be more gentler to ourselves.
I remember over a decade ago a friend made the comment that I was so hard on myself. It took me by surprise and actually I had no idea what she even meant. Since then I've realized that I'm what you'd call a perfectionist. And now going through peri, perfectionism and being hard on myself is really working against me.
So I thought maybe we can share on what one or two things that we've done daily to be more self compassionate with ourselves.
I can start. I woke up late today. 11:30 am. I always put myself down when I wake up late. Thinking other people are at work, I've wasted half a day. I'm lazy etc. Today I followed those thoughts with compassion for myself 1. I'm still recovering from surgery so I can give myself a break, listen to my body and give it what it needs 2. I don't have any place to be today so it's OK. 3. I'm sure there's others in their pj's at that time.
I know I am the same, I hate to 'waste' a day. But sometimes your body knows best!
I am having terrible problems with my neck and shoulders (doctors haven't a clue) So when I can afford it I treat myself to a back massage, half an hour of total me time - lovely.
I cut down on all the running around I used to do. I definetly needed to slow down. I also have to say NO!!! without feeling guilty afterward. I try to stay away from stressful situations as much as possible. Less stress helps the symptoms not be so bad.
Sorry to hear you're having shoulder and neck pain. I am too. I did same thing a couple of days ago. Went to get a 15 minute chair massage. First massage in years. Hurray for us for treating our bodies with what it needs.
As I mention too often, I've been through a lot of health issues this year. I'm a very independent, stubborn, anxious person with some OCD tendencies and extremely self-critical. So I'm looking into getting help for my anxiety, possibly CBT, and living a simpler, healthier life.
I do the same at times, massages are very relaxing. However, I went to one place in Chicago and the guy almost broke my back. It was the worse massage I ever had it wasn't the typical soft tissue massage. My daughter gifted me a massage a "Groupon" for Xmas last year. My back was beaten, legs pulled, neck cracked, etc. I was not pleased with it at all. However, I was too embarrassed to inform the Asia guy who spoke no English that I was a 49 year old menopausal woman with fragile bones. Next time, I will pay attention and get a soft tissue massage only, I can't go wrong with that one at my state & age. My bone are very fragile plus I'm taking thyroid meds which doesn't make it any better.
Willingness into looking into getting help is a huge step forward Elizabeth. That's awesome! Like you quoted "... Courage to change the things I can ..."
that is really inspiring cc I too am guilty of this every since my childhood and I am trying to like my self more its a struggle but I will keep trying thank you for your post it is uplifting
Spot on Sis. It takes practise when you're a perfectionist. I bet you're a "people pleaser" type too. (both traits just like me). If we don't try & be gentler on ourselves, we actually put undue pressure & stress on ourselves!!! It's ironic really. Great post Sis. big hug to you. xxx
Oh goodness, I'm a people pleaser, too... everybody else seems to come first... so hard to break that pattern. My sister says she is the same way. It's how we were raised. Very hard.
Thanks feel free to post your self care/ self nurture/ self compassion victories. I'm hoping we can share something positive we did for ourselves. Nothing is too small or too large 😀
My "self-nurture victory" today was I put on makeup!
Since my peri symptoms escalated last year I chopped my hair off and wore a beanie if I went out and nothing on my face not even moisturizer.
Today, I put on foundation, powder, lipstick (even used a lip pencil!) and put some effort into doing my hair. No beanie today! And went and got myself some frozen yogurt. 🍦
Anyone else want to share a self-caring/self-compassionate/self-nurturing victory they did for themselves? Anything goes. Spoke up for yourself? Got a massage? Decluttered something? Showered? Got take-out?
I did not eat any sugary foods today, and I am a sugar addict. But I read that sugar feeds bacteria, and I want this infection to go away. Have followed instructions for my medicine to the letter and only ate healthy foods today. Hoping that if some good thing is meant to come from this situation that it will be starting some healthy eating habits, a day at a time.
funny enough when I had my cbt session yesterday she said the same thing she said i was good at encouraging and uplifting others but not my self its hard but im going to try and when it does happen i shall post it x
There is bacteria and then there is bacteria! There are lbs of good bacteria in our guts - at least there SHOULD be. They outnumber 'our' cells 10 to 1 and, basically, keep us alive.
This 'good' bacteria is under constant attack from the meds we take and the modern environment we live in. If you are on AB's you need to be eating live yoghurt (not those silly little pots - the real organic stuff). If you Google 'Good Bacteria' you'll be amazed.
We should all be watching what we eat. Forget the hype and the gimmicks and the 'healthy' food that the supermarkets push. A wise person told me to only eat the food our Grandparents would recognise and that would not include all the highly processed cxxp that is on offer now!
Cutting out sugar is a great first move. I know it is hard, I'm a chocoholic! A word of encouragement - since I changed my diet in January (no sugar, less simple carbs and NO highly processed food) I have lost 21 lbs, mostly belly fat. Go on girl, you can do it.
my self nurture victory today was me & my hubby put some new solar flower lights around our fish pond & some candle solar lights on our lawn that had been sat in their boxes for over a year! Looking forward to seeing them when it gets darker tonight. xx