Feel awful today trying to get ‘going’ but there is not one glimpse of energy or drive or happiness . Keep lying back on the bed ...
trying to get that glimpse of hope and a crumb of happiness would do right now .
You talk to yourself endlessly and say ‘come on be happy get moving get motivated ‘ it’s just so tough .
Hi, I really hear what you are saying, I understand it. How far through all of this are you? What kind of help are you getting? If you haven't got any HRT or antidepressants maybe this might be something you could talk over with your doctor. I had a total hysterectomy last year, and I am on HRT and antidepressants, and I don't think I could cope without them.
This is a hard hard time of our lives, keep reaching out, and take what the medical people in your life can offer.
Take care
Hi Lori, I’m sorry you’re having a crummy day. I know from previous posts you are trying different things to try and get better, it is so frustrating. Have you considered giving an AD another try? I had to take Lexapro kicking and screaming. The side effects weren’t pretty, but I was so low...I pushed through them. I certainly am not dancing in the streets, but I am not as down as as I used to be. It takes time. That was my problem...I tried a couple of ADs and the minute the side effects came, I tossed them, I only lasted 2 days on 1 and 3 on the other. Not pushing meds, but of it saves our sanity, then we deserve it. Take good care 😊
You will get through the day. I have to work around all these women with hormones. I'm not jealous because two of them have awful lives, but they have no idea. I would have enjoyed my hormones much more if I knew the havoc it would wreak losing them. Lol!!! I see men my age(58) and older walking around laughing and talking at work not a care in the world.
HI I am on day 4, of 5mg, how long did it take to feel abit better,
Hello, I would say by my 8th week...I increased slowly though, so it may have prolonged the improvement. I did 1 month on 5mg...1 month 7.5...now on the 10mg I was prescribed. On week 10 now. Hope it helps you! 🙏🤞😊
Hi Lou
I read your post, ,and agree. If you can find a shred of help anyhwere and that includes AD's then by all means do it.
Like you, i did the exact same thing, an tried atleast 3-4 diff AD's, and the MOMENT i felt weird i tossed them.
So i guess i am not compliant at all either, but because i have been so off ..i just couldnt bear to add creepy to already creepy you know what i mean?
but then again, maybe had i really waited it out, i would be feeling better and not struggling to the extent that i do.
I lasted 4 days on one, 3 days on the other, and the longest ive ever gone was 10 days on lexapro, and quit it.
I dont like feeling numb or like a zombie, i hate that lack of emotion, its scary.
im considering it again though, heck i try anything if it will maybe help.
x0x0x
I am also working around ladies in their 30's and 40's still with hormones.
And the men have no clue, they really dont. I work with health providers so i know just how 'little' they know with regards to this.
I see how the care of some of the women is handled, even by the nurses practitioner who i really like, but shes 64, and over it, and didnt do bad during menopause,(doesnt talk about it anyways) so she just hit and miss prescribes things in hopes that it helps.
I too would have worked those hormones 
had i known how i was going to feel without them...wow.
x0x0x0
Hi there Lori
I dont mean to be nosy but are you on the west coast?
Im with you on this journey, as are the other lady strugglers. 
you can do this. If i can ..you can..
i went into a yoga class this morning - all senior ladies-
and i felt sooo welcome. it was a very calming, supportive group, with lots of deep breathing and gentle stretching. I felt like their post meno energy gave me hope that i too will get to their stage of calm and acceptance.
They didnt care or compete to see who whas doing what, they just did their own thing. I feel very lonely and almost abandoned like..(part of this transition i suppose) and so being in the same room with them, felt like a very light blanket around me, no looks no judgement, just human woman understanding without words..
brought tears to my eyes twice during the class.
like it is now...
x0x0x
You will make it!!! And it's OK to go back to bed- tomorrow may be a better day!! I got kids off to school today and I went back to bed which I slept hard!!! My body needs it. I did have a busy weekend so my body might be playing 'catch-up'. And yes sometimes you need to talk yourself into doing things to get moving.
Lori,
It's almost 5:00 in the afternoon here in the states as I post to you. I just finished reading the 9 replies that you've received so far and this is why I APPRECIATE this group! My eyes were watery reading the replies from Lou, Maui, Juanita, Meno, Mrssusan and Kelly!
This forum is such a place of encouragement and hope and inspiration to keep pressing on!!!
I have had to FORCE myself to write things down every day - how I am feeling mentally, how I am feeling physically, the symptoms I am having that particular day, the hours I slept etc - at times I have felt like I just couldn't do it; but for my well being I am realizing that I need to. I have to see the truth in writing!!!!! I want so much to forget and move on from all that I am going through at 49 and yet if I continue to have faith and hope that I will be better - I will be so grateful when I can reflect and remember these times and that I made it and came out stronger than I ever was.
You are trying new things, Lori, and I am so hopeful you will start seeing improvement slowly but surely! My little cream I am using says it might take 3 months before I see improvement. YOU CAN DO IT!
Hi Mauiblue, thanks. I’m in a tough age bracket too. At 41, I’ve been told I cannot do HRT until I am in menopause. I get offered oral BCP only. Took them for years before... I went off them last year, then I started with bad symptoms. I assume I was already going through peri, but it was masked by the pill. Tried going back on to no avail. Have an appointment Next month with new gyno, going to ask about creams or giving the BCP another try or whatever wisdom she thinks. 🙄Just terrible that we get backed into a corner due to limited treatment options. I was also getting to the point where I didn’t want to get out of bed, and I got scared that I was falling into depression. 😊
Lou - thanks for sharing your willingness to stick it out and not give up on that AD! Thanks for sharing those details of how you took it one day at a time, etc! It is inspiring! I am not opposed at all to trying an AD for the first time ever at the age of 49 when this all hit!
I started that over the counter bio-identical progesterone cream (the one from the wild mexican yams) that I have read about in several books. I went into it and prepared myself that I would have some new symptoms - question is, how tough am I going to be??? Have I wanted to quit it in less than a week already, yes. Why? I've been reading, reading, reading - does this one cause cancer - this one says the synthetic ones do - etc, etc, but I"m trying to dig, dig, dig to see if I am making my life worse by rubbing this on my body! I am feeling better - or is placebo? Do I care if it's placebo or not, LOL??? I can deal with the physical symptoms that are many - but the anxiety coming and going? The sadness off and on - that is hard. My progesterone levels were so LOW - and all of those symptoms of sadness, anxiety, lethargy they say can be from the progesterone levels. That's my current update.
Thanks for sharing and being transparent about your trying and tossing - I'm at the trying/considering tossing point, lol!
Maui,
What a beautiful experience you had today - made me well up with tears; the picture of it all.
Lately I've noticed as I am out in public that I am taking the time to look at the women who are in their late 70's and 80's and finding this yearning of wanting to ask them how they made it through. Maybe they'd tell me it was a breeze like it was for my mom. Maybe they'd give me that look, tilt their head and tell me it was awful but that they did it! I have such compassion towards others now - I am different.
I watched a beautiful video today of a women who is turning 113 in North Carolina. I'm finding I need to continue to watch and read inspiring and uplifting stories.
Thanks for sharing yours today.
Finny
Lori, I hope you are feeling better. I love all of the comments on this post.
You are so welcome.
I do not like to post sometimes because anything that takes my energy away. Or if im really low, then so much negativity is there, and i dont want to go that far either as it is of no use.
but sometimes we need to hear it all, as its therapeutic,
I know that ive asked some women, and ofcourse seen many women in the clinic so i would say for sure that lots of them truly did get through it smoothly, with a discomfort here and there.
There are also a few - 20% maybe that are verry impacted by this, lie myself and they dont even know it. They are totally on meds, and reliant upon them to get through. Their anxiety is debilitating, they are depressed etc.
I really feel horrible seeing and knowing about them, because its haunting in a way..you know, when you see someone worse off than you, your like "oh my gosh, yikes will I get this bad??" The mind plays tricks on me, its just so up close and personal you know...
wow 113...unbelievable, and a beautiful thing
x0x0x
Thanks Finny! When my primary dr prescribed me the AD, he wanted me to get counseling too. Told him I didn’t need it...I said I already attend a group therapy! 😀I wish we could have a 24 hr meno hotline, with us ladies answering the calls. Have a great night, here’s to a happy tomorrow 😊🤗
Hi Lou
Yes perhaps the bcp might be in order again if the doc thinks it will help, especially at your age, its a good age to get away with taking it.
Yes we do get backed into a corner, and thats kind of why i gave up partially with my provider because they could never figure me out.
So im just trying different things. Im open, and i educate as much as possible like everyone else here.
Let us know how you go with this.
x0x0x
Me too Juanita ! If we knew what it was going to be like 🙄 they’re should be online videos of ‘a life without hormones’ depicting our lives and the struggles .
Hi meno
Yes I’m on BHRT now but read it takes time to kick in fully . I had my last period December but then on BHRT I’ve had 2 more since then .
My holistic dr has told me stop working out as my adrenals are fatigued ... it’s the only pleasure I get all day ! Will try to take more days off though and see if I improve