Ok so im a 19 year old uni student with a part time job at weekends (Yes this bit is important).
This is going to a long post but i really need to get this off my chest.
So i met this girl at work and we got chatting as she used to hang around with my younger sister, when one day she needed advice on breaking up with her boyfriend who unfortunaltey also worked with us. Now i hate any kind of conflict and avoid it all times aswell as never having a girlfriend i didnt know what to say, but due to circumstances she had to break up with her BF on shift the following day after i offered to give her a lift home.. which unfortunatley didnt look great.. We started getting a bit closer when i told her to message if she was upset about it. Now at this point i had no interest in her at all i was just trying to be a good person.
The following weekend we both got offered an early finish on shift and we arranged for a few of us to go out car shopping for something to do on the afternoon when everyone baled except me and her. Anyway we both agreed we were ready and bored so still went shopping being just the two of us. It was really weird as there was no awkward silences or convesations and even ended up with us pretending to be a couple at one garage to see what kind of deal we could get, unfortunatley said girl put a status about this on facebook and the rumours began around work start small and then grew and grew. At this point i didnt mind as it was totally inocent and we agreed to go ice skating the following week also with a number of other people and once again everyone baled except me and her, after this saturday afternoons started turning into our days for hanging out as i went to uni and stayed away during the week and came home on weekends. eventually i asked she wanted to stay at my uni house for a few days as all my flatmates had gone home for xmas and she was having problems at home so i arranged a totally innocent get away for her but yes feelings were beginning to form.
After a really good three days of really getting to know each other and sharing a lot of secrets i thought that we were maybe going somewhere. we kept hanging around together and messaging each other until i got a message one night saying she had been kicked out and had been drinking. I was really worried about her so i jumped in my car and drove the hour and a bit journey to collect her so she had a roof over her head for the night!!! when we got back to mine i introduced her to my flatmates and i got the impression that they didnt like her... Me and the igrl decided to have a few drinks which turned into a lot and one thing lead to another and we slept together. Being a teenage boy this was a big moment but also her as it was both our first times... the following day we had the 'chat' which with my feelings growing for her wasnt what i wanted to hear she basically just wanted to be friends... that is where the problems began.
About four days later she put another status on facebook with the basic gist of having to make big life changing decisions. So obviously i messaged asking her if she was ok which i got really short agressive messages back, at the time i was sat with two of my closest friends where i began panicing that she was pregnant or something 'STUPID' which they calmed me down by googling pregancy tests and finding it impossible to know within four days of intercourse. which meant i spent the entire night stress as to what has happened.
I then went to work the following morning where one of her bestfriends was there so obviously i asked him what was wrong and he just smirked and said that i was what wrong and that i had told everyone that i had slept with her!!! i paniced as i know she can be really mean when she is angry, so my manager sent me home just before the girl started work!!!! This turned into abussive messages and bring up previous mental problems i suffered and i trusted her to know... it was fair to say i was gutted.
The following day i was on a night out and a got an apology message from this girl saying that she felt horrible for the messages she sent and that she was wrong and it was me that was telling everyone and it was her bestfriend hence he was smirking! I was an emotional mess again and was sat outside a nightclud sobbing as the alchol had kicked in at this point.
About three to four days later we agreed to meet up at her house and talk it out in person. There was one comment though that stuck with me for a long time that brought back the pregnancy fears. she said 'I have something to tell you, but i cant tell you YET as it will break you' i didnt know what the hell to do as everytime i asked she refused to say.
things got better and i began spending a lot more time at her house and with her family i was happy kind of as i knew she didnt share the feeling i had for her even though we slept together a few more times.
whilst it was going well we had a four hour phone call where she began saying she was wanting a relationship but not directing it towards me. I then spent the next few days wondering if she meant it in general or if it was a hint.
The next time we went out i tried to pluck up the courage to ask her to be my girlfriend but couldnt do it, we then went back to hers and watched a movie where she was lied against me and i did it and i honestly thought she was going to say yes but once again NO she just wanted to have fun. Another emotional blow.
the next week wasnt great she just seemed a bit off refusing to talk to one day. anyway the following saturday i got a phone call at 3am from her drunk asking if i could pick her and this guy up and take them back to her house. NOW THAT REALLY HURT me as she claimed he had tried it on with her and he said she tried it on with him. I decide to take the oppurtunity again whilst she drunk to find out this news as she refused to sober and it was eating away at me. she said the same thing again that 'It was life changing but she now cant ever tell me' with this and my over thinking i thought she had been pregnant and had it aborted.
The day i finally found out... it was the day after the above when i dropped her off after work i said along the lines 'I need to know whats going on i have my suspisions and if im right i deserve to know' and with a bit of begging she told me that yes she was pregnant and she had 'lost' it all in the same sentence!!! i didnt know what to do or say and i was more shocked that she didnt really seem that bothered even though i have had these thoughts and worries reallt putting a strain on me mentally consuming me.
it became awkward she got out the car. and i just sobbed for like 10 minutes around the corner from her housr!!!
two weeks later the girl had a dream college interview in london with no way of getting there with the cost being insane, me being a sucker for feelings offered to do the 9hour round trip which she accepted. the miscarrage came up in converstaion on the way home and i was really upset that she didnt really care if i was there for the baby or not and she was probably going to move to london without me and claimed she wanted no support...
once again a few weeks later she sent a message saying that she just had sex with a guy and told me it was great. I was again broke down but what had me worried was the only guy at this party was my sisters boyfirend... Anyway it turns out that this message was sent by her but it was sent with the people at the party to not tell me it was a lie... but this was only claimed by my sisters boyfriend...
This story went around at work and it became awkward between me and her... i over heard her saying to someone that she had made a massive mistake and she would tell them after work, then told me that something had happened and that i would kill someone if i found out!!!!! I MEAN SERIOUSLY WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT!!!! then later that day i got a message saying 'you have probably expect this for a while but never message me, never talk to me again good luck with UNI and the rest of your life...
I was devistated i believe this message was sent as she knew i booked three weeks off work i could cope and i shut myself away the girl that i feel such more shut me out like that over a text message. this weekend was the first time i had seen and it has absolutley destroyed me and other the last however long i have been shutting out my friends and family for this girl without me realising to then get a message like this. everyone has been telling me the stuff she has been spreading about for the last three weeks and its horrible im literally in nuclear melt down and i have no idea how i can get back to the way i used to be. i dont care abou my grammar or if im rambling and i think ive missed off most of the details but i need advice anything is appreciated