Week 10 - feeling good but sick!

Treatment and medication
1

Hiya all,

I’m onto week 10 now – I’m feeling so much better in myself, I can’t believe it. On week 1, I was seriously planning how to end it all & now I look back & think “■■■■, what was I thinking”. I’m having counselling once a week to, which is helping (I didn’t think it would) I just can’t get over how I’m starting to be a bit of the old me again.

One thing tho, I feel so ill. I don’t know if it’s the tablets or I’ve just caught a bug. On Friday had to pull over the car on the way home from work to be sick & then have felt a bit yucky over the weekend. About half an hour ago, I almost passed out at my desk & feel very very sick now & my head is killing, already taken 2 lots of co-codamol & drinking red bull to see if will help (at work, so am half sprawled out trying to type & not be dizzy – good job have own room)

Has anyone else had this or do you think I just have some kind of bug?

2

oops, fogot to say at the end of that, thanks if you reply & can help

kt x

3

Hey me!

I'm thinking you've most likely got a bug of some sort. I'm about the same as yourself, on week 10/11, and feeling much better too, but no sickness. Sounds as though you should be at home in bed! I'm feeling quite fatigued all the time, and I'm curious to know if this is still a side effect? Anyone have the same symptoms? Shift work doesn't help I suppose.

Hope you feel better!!

Gaz :D

4

Hi Gaz,

Thanks, does sound more like a bug. Wish I could be home, don't get paid if I'm off sick though (hmph) if I get any worse feeling I'm off home tho.

I'm tired all the time too, by 9pm I'm ready for bed (used to be 1am ish before tablets) & could quite happily sleep all day if i could. I sometimes feel as tho I'm fighting to stop my eyes closing - oh the joys of side effects! :D

5

I felt very fatigued all day yesterday, was horrible.

Looks like you may have caught a bug Here's to hoping you recover quickly!

6

You don't get sick pay? That's harsh! If you're physically sick get yourself home to bed. Not worth suffering at work. There's a few bugs going around my work place at the mo, so it's most likely that. Be worth going to the GP if it continues tho!

Yeah the fatigue thing is doing my head in. I'm normally very active, go to the gym, mountain biking, swimming etc etc. But lately I've put on a few pounds from not being arsed to do the things I normally do! Lacking motivation in some respects. I work shifts supporting people with learning disabilities which can be quite stressful, and lately I've been working lots. I'm hoping it's down to that.

7

For those of us who continue to be paid whilst off sick (and always have done during 30 years out at work) it's amazing to find out that not everyone is so lucky isn't it?!

I didn't realise it wasn't across the board until my son went in to work unwell one day. I said he should take the day off sick and he told me he wouldn't get paid - I actually said he must be wrong, but alas no it was me who was wrong. There's Statutory Sick Pay, but this is very little money. He had a week of this when he was home for a couple of weeks following a hernia operation - the rest of the time he had to take as leave.

8

I'm almost certain that a new law came into force or is due to come into force this month - I could be wrong though :oops:

Here is a link to some information about sick pay.

http://www.is4profit.com/business-advice/employment/sickness-issues-and-ssp_2.html

Melbi x

9

Hiya,

I do get the statutory pay, but its not enough to be able to afford taking a day or 2 off ill. Every where else I had worked you just got piad normal still, used to here then my gp signed me off for a week just before I started the tablets as my head was a bit of a mess, and I just thought I would be paid normal as usual & at the end of month got pay slip & it all wasnt there, due to sickness & when asked about it, just got told is company policy (no arguing about how for the past year & half that hadnt happened before) anyway it gave me the kick I needed to look for a new job (still looking tho)

Anyway after that ramble, feeling better today, finished early yesterday to go to my counsellor so I managed to last thru the rest of the day, sprawled accross my desk :D

Gonna look at that link Melbi, thanks

10

Hi there, just touching on the SSP issue. I used to practice Personnel a few year back and I am CIPD registered.

As far as I am aware, a company does not have to pay you sick pay, this is a benefit that they offer in addition to your T&C's, such as pension, car. mobile etc etc. It is called Contractual Sick Pay.

Therefore, SSP is currently £75.40 per week (I think) which is paid to you after you have had more than 3 continuous days off work, as long as you currently earn over £70 per week to start off with. This amount is based on a 5 day week so will be pro-rated depending on the number of days you work, I think it's about £25 per day. SSP can last a maximum of 28 weeks for one stint of sickness.

You either qualify for the Contractual sick pay from your company (as long as it isn't less than the SSP rate) or SSP but only one.

I don't get paid for sick in this job either, it's the first job I've had where I do not get paid for being off. I only work for an SME so they can't really afford folk to be off which doesn't help me if I need a duvet day he he!! Which I haven't since starting here (probably as I don't get paid and can't afford it - see, it does work!)

Hope this has helped clear a few things up.

Suz - what's up hun? Your post is dreadfully low for you? Do you want to reply to my huge posting with 47 entries on it??? I don't think you're okay at the mo....

Ang x

11

Hi, sorry, as long as you earn over £90.00 a week not £70.00 as originally posted! My mistake!

Ang

12

Im well into my tablets now, started back in january...

yet im still completely shattered most of the time!

To top it off ive just started my first ever 9-5 permanent job so its gonna be a struggle to get used to i think. 2 days in isnt too bad... havent actually informed new employers that im on these tablets (its not a disability therefore i dont need to declare, but for health reasons it may be good to mention - any advice?)

i occasionally get nausea and sickness still but most often if i havent eaten enough.

I also keep forgetting to take my tablets til late in the day (oops) but i dont think this has much effect....again making me wonder if the damn things are actually doing owt or not!

I still am having seriously bad 'down episodes' every week or two, times where i cry and am inconsolable, i want to end my life, i self harm and generally muck up my entire life it feels like. im horrible to people around me (those who have supported me most too) then the next day i feel so foolish and irrational.

Doesnt help that Ive got emotional problems right now with my 'love life'. I feel like my heart is just playing horrid games with me and i want to cut it out most days...wont go into details its way too complicated.

All I know is that when im alone at the moment Im a hazard to myself and anyone who comes into contact with me.

Last night I had to leave my house and just walk around randomly as i'd started trashing my room and smashing things up/self harming and if im in the open im less likely to do such things.

One minute i feel in control and the next i can lose it completely, I feel like im really struggling with anger at the moment. Might discuss further wth my GP/mental health worker...but it always seems that when it comes to seeing them i feel alright... but yet it happens again and again!!

Any advice greatly appreciated.

SJ xx

13

Hi SJ,

Just read you post and it reminds me a bit of me. Ive been on the tablets 10 weeks and am only just starting to notice a difference. 10 weeks ago I planned an overdose right down to the very tiny details, i cant believe how much difference 10 weeks makes BUT, and its a big but, even tho I am feeling bit better I am still self harming, my counsellor is trying to help me through this. I have escelated into worse things (used to starve self, make self sick its now cutting for the past 3 months) and I just cant stop. I seem to go thru an ok patch & then I will get so angry at the samllest thing & then I cant breath & need to hurt just to feel normal again - I dont understand why i do it, so its hard to explain - im so scared of the fact that i do it (i used to think people who did it were messed up - sorry - I now know why people do it tho) I havent even told my husband & have to hide it all the time (on arms)

I have such bad anger, really bad, I can snap in a second and loose it compltley - my counsellor is great & we're trying to get to the bottom of it all.

one thing she said which worked once, rather than harm yourself get a bit of paper and write all your anger on it swear/scribble/stab the paper then rip it into bits/burn it - whatever you feel like doing - but do it to the paper not you.

Its easy to write that, but much harder to do, honestly I have done it & it did stop me the once, but dont think im strong enough yet to use that as a technique. anyway it might work for you.

Sorry, I've went on & on here

Hope you feel better xx

14

Hiya,

just wanted to say thanks so much for your reply, it is interesting (i dont like to say 'nice' because i dont think anyone should have to feel how i do or that it is nice, i know i dont like it anyway!) or maybe i mean comforting in a way, to know that other people do experience the same thoughts, emotions and reactions as oneself.

Again, I have calmed down again since the beginning of this week and although my thoughts have not been too wonderful, my actions and behaviours have not reflected this.

Probably because im just too shattered after work to do anything!!

I did however, have a constructive and 'adult' discussion with someone who is involved in my emotional dilemmas and although the outcome wasnt exactly what i wanted (poured my heart out and laid it all on the line... just to be told, sorry but no!) I do feel that because i managed to deal with it positively and sensibly and come to mutual arrangements rather than be irrational, fly off the handle, mis interpret and self harm or such, I feel a lot better for it.

I know that doesnt mean that its all better, but it does however i think make me a little more aware that next time i feel so bad i can remember that it can be improved by being rational. I know also that i might not be able o do this, but i can but try!

I feel sometimes like i need to be supervised/locked up for my own and others safety...but its only sometimes!

Keep up the fluo everyone, surely they gotta do something or the medical professionals wouldnt use them... although i know that everyones unique!

Off to bed, as wor again tomorrow! Woo! I survived my first week in real life job!!

xx

15

Hey everyone,

Just wanted to say thanks to you all for always being there. SJT Im so glad to hear that you could handle things rationally. I do believe that these pills have calmed me down too.

I'm happy you're feeling better, I have good days and real down times too, but they seem to be getting less and less.

One thing though, I have a really dodgy stomach still. It's been bad for about 3 weeks, but since Saturday, it's been dreadful. It's grumbling and I need the toilet all the time. Do you think it could be the pills? I do have a very stressful life, but have beem feeling not so stressed lately. It's embarrassing as my stomach rumbles very loudly in a quiet office, and it doesn't sound like my stomach rumbling!! LOL

Anyone know anything I could take to stop this happening? HELP!!!

You're all great, want us all to be OK xxxx

16

I know what you mean, my stomach is the same with rather loud grumbly noises!!

sometimes worse depending on what ive eaten too. Not sure if this is re-occuring IBS for me or if it is related to the tablets?!

they certainly did make me unwell in the first few weeks i was taking them.

Occasionally i will take some Milk of Magnesia just to settle my tummy if im not feeling too great, seems to help me anyway!

Hope that helps xx

17

Thanks for that, im gonna get some Milk of Magnesia then tomorrow as still bad stomach x

Bad news - Sunday I took Mum out and had a few glasses of wine as my sis had come up as well from Hornchurch, and my brother in law was driving. BIG MISTAKE!!

It sent me on a downward spiral so quickly, and everyone left me, and I was so alone, and honestly don't even know exactly what I did.

I'm just going to say, DON'T DRINK WITH THESE PILLS.

Just trust me, I have been so poorly, have had to take Monday and Tuesday off work as have been so ill, and they are NOT happy with me. Planning on returning tomorrow, though I really don't want to.

I am happier in my own life (still with Pete who is amazingly supportive) yet I still managed to feel like dying again. Why is that?

I love my children so much, and now I love Pete too, and Mum has had some quality days, yet this weekend was terrible again.

I cant just blame the drink, although I do think this was the main reason.

Feel desperate to talk to someone now, as sometimes my head feels like a honeycomb with a thousand things going round at the same time, and I am so tired. I slept nearly all day yesterday and today.

Is anyone else feeling like I am? I started these pills on Feb 4th, and am now wondering whether they are bad for me, or if it was just purely because I drank with them?

Anyone have any idea?

18

Hi Suz and everyone,

I also started Feb 4th and feel like poo at the moment. I'm constantly tired, I have mega bags under my eyes and I too have had a dodgy tummyfor about the last 10 days. Put it this way, I'm glad I have an office to myself!

I have resorted to not only taking my 20mg Flu tablet before bed but also a 400mg Ibuprofen and a full extra strenth Nightol tablet. I have had the headache from hell the last week and it's in the same place and the Nightol is so i can sleep all the way through.

Last night I was awake with chest pains and started thinking I was going to have a heart-attack!!! :oops: I'm only 30!!!

Back at docs on Friday for next months prescription :twisted: so will mention these things to my GP.

Still, I'm better on them than off them as I'm calmer, controlled and I the last suicidal thought I had was in the first week back at the start of Feb. So not all bad.

Suz - I'm so pleased that you and Pete are still strong and great that your family was together at the weekend. I do agree though - STAY OFF THE DRINK!!!

I had a single Malibu and diet lemonade last night in the hope it would knock me out, this has been the forth drink I've had in 12 weeks and each time it does the same, makes me feel rotten. Don't know if the chest pains are off the drink but I certainly don't feel better for it. It was such a chore getting out of bed this morning, getting the little fella ready and now I'm in work, I could quite easily have 40 winks at my desk. I don't want my P45 however so I'll stay awake he he!!

We're getting there, slowly but surely and yes, there will be a few set backs on the way but that's life isn't it. If it doesn't kill us, it can only make us stronger and by being on this site, by taking these pills, by admitting to how we feel - well, that to me is making us individually stronger.

Take care all, enjoying the posts.

Ang :lol:

19

hey suzisue

sorry u not feeling so bright have been wondering where u have been & how u doin! I'd have to agree with Ang - I think this is just how it rolls on these meds I've been up down & here there an every where on these now feeling like I wished I'd not started them - if I feel happy then its seems fake down to the meds & if I feel like sh** then its also down to them lol I dunno m8 I started mine 14th Feb & I not overly sure what I feel like most the time if I'm not yawning then I'm asleep if I'm not asleep then I in my bubble world on so on........

guess for now we all keep ploding on wot else can we do eh?

But remember if u gotta let off steam u know where to come u held your hand to me.......I can only offer mine backxxx

Keep posting m8 we still got many miles to end of the roadxxxxxxx

Fellow fluoxters...................it hard but STOP BLOODY YAWNING LMAO!!!!!!!

20

Oh yuk!!!

Dont think it was a bug I had (at the begining of this topic) I still feel the same, had to make myself sick last night, to just be able to not feel so horrible.

Im so so tired, these past 2 weeks, the tiredest I have been so far, and my head - ouch. Im living on red bull & co-codamol & they seem to have little or no effect. No matter how tired I am, Im waking up around 5am-ish every morning & then cant get back to sleep. Evil, evil meds.

Addy, I know exactly what you mean about the \"fake happiness\" thats what i feel like, im being happy-ish on the outside yet inside im screaming & angry & wanting to cry & just argh!!!

I feel so dam crazy!