Ok I apologise for this before I even start, moaner that I am:
I’m on week 12, the 1st few weeks I was ok bit now I seem to be getting side effects. Nightmares, waking up 3-4am ish & not getting back to sleep, headaches, nausea, very very sleepy all the time.
And I seem to go through phases of feeling ok, but as someone else said in another post & I agreed, its sort of fake happiness, inside I’m not ok, but I’m coming across as ok?! Feeling panicky not being able to breathe. Fighting self harm issues also, which I am finding so hard. I am also having counselling (about 9 weeks now) and starting to settle more into it (I’ve never discussed my feelings openly before) but now my counsellor has to be off for a month or 2 (operation) and I am so stressed about it. I didn’t realise exactly how much I had come to rely on my sessions to get me thru the week. Just thinking about it now, I’m starting to have a mini panic. She has gave me the number of another counsellor for whiles she is off, incase I need it, but I really don’t want to go to someone else, it took all my courage to go to this one in the first place.
I need to go for a check up with doc, next week sometime to see if getting on ok with tablets. I do want to stick it out as I don’t want to feel how I did 3 months ago and I don’t want to be swapped to other things & start the process all over again.
Is anybody else this far in & starting to get the nastiness or is it normally in the beginning. Sick off felling not normal & like I need to punch a hole in something.
I am on week 4 and i have hit a brick wall and started to self harm again, i dont know why just seems im getting worse, i hoped it would get better on this med...
If you are self harming then both of you need to go back and see your doctors. Maybe they can change your medication or give you something to take alongside Fluoxetine.
God you two, it's awful the way you are both feeling. Like Melbi says, pls pls pls go and see your Drs. Come on you have to help yourselves. Pls listen to Melbi
Hi-me, Im about the same time as you I think, and yes I've been feeling up and down. Have had a very dodgy stomach for around 3 weeks. I know that panicky feeling too.
Do you think these are side effects of the pills maybe? I have been dreaming too. But generally, despite all this I feel better and stronger DEFINITELY than I did before I started these. We'll just have to ride the storm I think - but you both do need to go and chat to your Drs, and be honest, pls. I want you both to get better so much. I hate you feeling so bad.
thanks for your replies everyone. I know that I need to tell my Dr, but that the hard part, only my counsellor knows (even my husband doesnt) I seem to have wrapped myself in my own little world, and im able to hide it becasue of this. Im onto day 4 of not doing it, so I'm happy at myself for that.
I never really understood self harm (even tho for the past 10 years since was 16 I've been doing it in a diiferent way on & off - starving & making self sick) but about 4 months ago I started cutting, I just cant get my head around it & why I even do it.
I will try get my courage up to tell my dr, I need to as im so scared as to what will happen otherwise.
Thankyou Melbi & Suzisue, for pointing out the obvious to me but what I was trying to ignore.
Maharg, it took me about 9-10 weeks before I started to feel that bit better, stick it out. I think the others are right tho & we need to go to our docs & try get more help.
I know it must be hard. I felt so bad before I went on theses oills, I really couldnt face living anymore. The only thing left to do was go and see my Dr.
I know it's not the same as self harming - but I swear, I know I wouldnt be here now if I hadnt gone and talked to my Dr.
I know it must be so hard for you babe
If I lived near you I would come with you.
Im really proud of you for not doing it for 4 days - just keep posting on here. I'll help all I can.xxxxx
Maharg and Hi-me, I can relate to your experiences as well - self-harm is not something I had ever done in my life but over the last couple of weeks I have, and the scary bit is how much better it makes me feel. Managed to tell my counsellor today (and now you guys!) but it makes me feel incredibly ashamed and stressed to think of telling anyone else. I'm on week 5 of fluoxetine and feel generally low still, as well as slightly spaced out or very jittery - basically still not seeing any improvement. I did get another prescription last week and told my GP I didn't feel any better (when in fact I feel worse) and he said he would look at changing the meds in a month if there was no improvement. I just don't know any more if it's me, the depression or the meds making me feel like this. It's pretty c**p, really isn't it?
Gretchel, i can totally relate to what ur saying it is like me u r describing im am starting week 5 and feel worse than ever, my self harm is not out of control but when i feel it is gong that way i will seek help.
I dont know if i should see about stronger meds or bare with it ?
Week 2 i felt great but it has went down hill since then.
I have never self harmed for a few years and dont know why im doing it again...
Yes, I don't really know what to do either. I don't know how old you are but I feel I am far too old to be doing such a teenage thing (although I know it doesn't really work like that). It feels like the only way of coping at times. I am not hurting myself badly but it is more the fact that I am doing it at all that is scary. At some points I feel ok and can see the light at the end of the tunnel; other times (quite often) everything just seems pretty bleak and I can't see any way out. I think I am struggling because I can't see any particular reason for my depression, so it's difficult to accept as an illness rather than personal weakness. Not easy. I think I will have to write things down to give to my GP the next time I see him as I just can't imagine voicing any of this, but can just about accept I won't get any better till I get the help I need.
I'm responsible for moderating all the medicine postings and it does concern me that you are not letting your GPs know about the self-harming. By letting your GPs know you will at least be alerting them to the fact that the self-harming may be a side-effect to the medication you are on - and hopefully you will get help too.
If anyone really wants to beat this illness - and I mean REALLY wants to beat it then we have to be completely and totally honest with our doctors and other medical professionals involved in our lives.
Doctors can only help if we can tell them what we feel or what we are doing to help us cope. Unfortunalely they aren't mind readers.
Self harming is quite common amongst mental illness and you can bet on your life all GP's will have heard patients tell them what they do to themselves in way of self harm.
For goodness sake, get yourselves off to the doctors and tell them what you are doing - unless of course you enjoy doing it so much and don't want help in stopping it.
You really are going to have to start being open with your doctors and tell them everything if you want to get better. Doctors can't help if they don't know.
I know exactly what you mean about it making you feel better (when I do it, its like Ive had a shot of something & my whole body rlaxes) & being ashamed. I am so ashamed of it, it took me a few weeks to tell my counsellor & she asks me now & then if I want to show her, as showing it to someone may make it that bit more real, bit i still havent showed her - part of me wants to but im so disgusted in myself. Im 26 years old and evrywhere i read about it, it goes on as tho its just tennagers who do it for attention (it hurts to read stuff like that).
Melbi & Hilary are right tho, I so dont want to tell my doc as im emabarassed and feel stupid, but i know that i need to.
What happens when it stops making us feel better, what will we move onto then? Something more dangerous to just get that feeling of relief which only lasts for a bit anyway. i only started scrathing with sharp bits of plastic, then onto paperclips, now I've cut with a knife, & they go deeper each time (that scares me like I cant even explain)
I'm saying this now, when it comes time to go to my doc, I know I'll feel different & il be terrified but right now I'm determined to do it.
Feel like Ive lectured a bit, but Im so scared and i dont want you guys to be going thru these feelings either, it really is hell. Just think about it, please. I'll keep you posted to as what I do & we can all maybe encourage each other along the way. xxx
Thanks to everyone who replied. You have given good and caring advice, and I will do my best to tell my GP asap. It does help to be able to talk about things on here, however, so I am glad that this is still an option and these posts have not been removed. It is the first step towards getting the help I need - if I can tell people anonymously without being judged, then I should be able to voice it elsewhere.
Im going to see a pstchologist on the 12th of this month, should i tell him or my doctor first, i will tell them eventualy but im not ready for this step yet, i also have no reason that i can think of that would cause this depression or me to self harm.
10 years ago when i was 17, i cut my right wrist quite bad but i managed to get to hospital, i told my parents i fell on glass, i felt soo ashamed with myself, i never really knew what i was doing but i knew it made me feel better.
I never want to go to this extream again but i feel i will get drawn there, it is easy for people to say u need to see your GP, but there is no easy way to just come out and tell them and im not passing a note to them like im in school, dont worry i will tell them in my own time...
Yes it is easy isn't it for people to tell us what we need to do - the hardest part is for us/you to take that advice and do something with it.
At the end of the day it is entirely your choice and your decision.
No one can make you do anything you don't want to do.
So it is up to you to decide if you tell your doctor or you wait until the 12th of this month and tell your pyschologist.
Then again, you might decide not to tell either of them. Your choice.
It is also your choice as to how you go about telling them, it will be the way you feel you are able to.
I know I'm a lot older than you and many times I have to write things down for my doctor or therapist to read because I can't bring myself to say it - I don't see this as me behaviing like a school child - it is me admitting to myself I have a problem I want help with but I don't know how to ask for it.
To me that is me acting in an adult and responsible manner.
I'm sorry that you see it another way - I wish you well and hopefully one day soon you will feel brave enough to let them know what your are doing so they can help you.
Well, after the posts of the past few days and generally feeling worse than before, I decided that I would do something about it and ask for help. Didn't sleep well last night so got up in the middle of the night and wrote down some stuff and printed it off. Phoned the surgery this morning and got an appt but unfortunately with a GP reg. I did find her quite annoying as I had to go through everything again, but I had written about the self-harming and she was sufficiently concerned to send me to the hospital to see a psychiatrist. My OH had taken me to the doctor so I figured I had to tell him exactly why I was being referred to the psychiatrist. He looked understandably shocked but has been great. And the psychiatrist was really good too - it definitely helped to feel that I could take my time and tell her everything. So my dose has been increased to 40mg daily and I will see a psychiatrist for a follow up appt, as well as being referred for CBT and anxiety management. It was absolutely terrifying and I felt so ashamed voicing things; however it was absolutely the right thing to do as I feel I was listened to properly and given good treatment and advice. Writing it down and handing it to the GP reg first was a good way to start things off, and the psychiatrist said it helped to have it written down in such an articulate way.
Anyway, I hope my positive experience will encourage others to seek appropriate help, and I really hope this is the beginning of my road to recovery.
That is excellent news Gretchel and a huge well done from me, It is one of the hardest things to do - telling someone what is really going on in your mind or body. Writing it down is so much easier and like you say, having had the time to write it down helped you to say it clearly and consicely.
You have made the hardest step you will ever have to make now with your illness. When things start to look really tough for you - think back to today and remember what you achieved and you will get through everything else.
I'm really pleased for you - I'd hug you with delight and pride if we were in the same room.