Since around 5 hours ago, I have this new fear that one day, my anxiety is going to get so bad, I'm going to go crazy/lose control of myself and kill myself without knowing/wanting too. I know I sound ridiculous, but it's freaking me out. Has anyone had this fear before? I'm losing my mind. My anxiety is going haywire right now.. Please tell me I'm not going insane. My friend who also has bad anxiety like me told me he had that fear/something similar to that when he first got anxiety. I've had anxiety for 3-4 ish years so I don't know why'd I'd randomly get this fear along with health anxiety and a fear of dying. Ugh.
Hi, aweshumy: You have to stop thinking like that. You have to start thinking positive thoughts. I fell fours ago on hard concrete and I've never been the same since. I sit around and worry that I will never walk right again, which I may not, but I have to focus on the positive. Let's all put those nasty negative thoughts out of our heads and just live for today...Baby steps...
It's just so hard when every positive though is filled with negativity short after. I'm trying to stay positive and distract myself but it's just scary.
It is scary, sweetie...I won't deny that, and most of our energy goes toward trying to keep from having panic attacks or depression, etc. While others are at the park, picnics, reunions, shopping, etc., we are sitting at home worrying about everything. It is soooo hard to keep your sanity when you are stuck with anxiety..Just try to do the best you can, and you will be stronger for it....HUGS.
Yeah, have a hug, I know this is horrible. I am going through it right now and go through the same every winter when I can't get outside and blow away all those horrible thoughts. I think the reason we feel like this is because our anxiety has escalated to such a level that we feel we can no longer control our brains. In this instance I have to employ the safeguard plan: this is basically when you have to pull all the tools against anxiety out of the box and implement as many strategies as possible to look after yourself and make yourself feel good.
These are some of the things I do when I'm feeling at my worst and most vulnerable:
Relaxation/meditation for a minimum of 15 minutes every day
Exercise, a minimum of 20 mins outside every day whatever weather. Even if it's raining I will still go outside because I have two. If I don't do this I will feel awful.
Thirdly and most importantly, I write stuff down. I try and identify the things that scare me the most then I write down all the evidence that supports these theories, after doing this I challenge them. In 99% of cases I find that my theory is unfounded, and that the evidence that challenges it is actually much more convincing. For me, sleep is the biggest anxiety. So I have a whole host of negative beliefs about the fact I won't sleep tonight. When I wrote all these thoughts down and challenge them, I realised I do sleep quite a lot actually, even when I'm feeling at my most vulnerable and scared. It's a really hard thing to do, and I've often cried my way through this task as it is so arduous and makes me go inside myself in a way I really hate. However, the end result is definitely worth the pain. It feels like you don't have the strength to do all these things, but actually it's much more tiring not doing them. Oh, I forgot, the other thing I do is to make sure I always eat and drink well. If I'm not hydrated, that sets off my anxiety to. So does too much sugar. I have recently stopped drinking any alcohol, and I do feel better for it as well. I know this is loads, but if you could even start doing one of these things every day, that might help you feel a bit better, just a tiny bit. I would advise relaxation if you're not already doing it. It's the first step to being kind to yourself and excepting what's happening to you. Good luck and hope you feel better soon. As was said before, baby steps, it takes awhile to get through this but you will.
Thank you so much for all that advice. It means the world to me! I only have been sleeping under 5 hours or over 10 hours (which both are unhealthy I know) and I barely exercise because of winter which I think makes my anxiety worst (I'm use to biking 10+ miles a day). I noticed when I drink 6+ cups of water and do at home workouts and stretching, even if its for 30 minutes, I feel better the next day. Also, I'm going to start meditating but I don't know where to start to be honest. I do keep a journal for everyday (mainly when I feel anxious /how I feel after panic attacks) and it distracts me for a good hour. I'm just so scared of dying or losing control. I've only been like this once in the past 4 years and it was never this severe. It's driving me crazy!
look for some guided meditation on YouTube to start