Ok so im 15 and im kinda depressed but its not that bad this is more on my health bc of depression so ive had a lot of family problems along with relationship problems and most of my problems come from a relationship that i had a few months ago so i really cared about this girl but to make a long story short she didn't care about me as much as i cared about her and it really made me upset for months i feel like ive been lost not motivated on anything and just want to sit and do nothing all day and before i met her about 9 months ago i had a nicotine problem but it wasn't that bad i would smoke my vape every few days and never really needed it that much and i can go days with out it and not go crazy but after i lost that girl a few months ago ive been vaping really heavily like smoking every 20 mins to an hour ive been smoking everyday and the nic in my vape is really high about 55 mg of nic per pod and i go through a pod every day or so and i am very aware of the health effects like heart disease, high blood pressure, lung/breathing problems and brain development problems im not to dumb but i guess im not the smartest either and i play sports and i notice that my playing skills are kinda f****d like from simple jogs my heart races like never before and i had a breathing problems since i was born from my cheat being caved in from a defect i was born with and now my breathing problems are even worse i feel like im suffocating when i run especially when i play football bc of my helmet and for some odd reason i found my self not being scared of death even if it happens at a young age im just not scared of getting cancer or any problems but i dont know what to do bc at the same time i dont want my heart to be really f****d up and my lungs to be destroyed and when it comes to quitting its really really hard i know i can quit all i need is a week to get past the withdraw but its so hard my legs shake and my craving for it goes up the wall its insane but i still know i can quit i just dont know how bc it helps me with stress and the depression that i have from my past relationship and i know its killing me but i dont want to quit its so bad and i know if i came out and announced my addiction my dad would beat my ass and my mom kinda knows about it but not to much bc shes not the smartest person in the world and hell i know my coaches would help me but i might get kicked off the team for it but the hardest part is staying off it bc everyone around me is either smoking cigarettes or vaping and i know the urge will stay with me my whole life even when i quit so idk i guess the summery of this all is that i dont want to quit vaping bc it helps me with stress and depression and at the same time its killing me from the inside with my heart beats extremely fast when i barley do anything and my lungs feeling so heavy and painful everyday and even if i was gonna quit idk how i would quit i dont want my parents to know or anyone and how tf would i even stay off it?