What can I do please. I can't go on like this

Mental health
1

I wish I had a decent psychiatrist, mine has had me on 15mg of mirtazapine daily, and nothing else at all.

I had to almost beg my gp for some valium to help me sleep as the mirt keeps me awake. I now take 15mg valium at night that sometimes gets me to sleep but more often than not I am awake for 4 nights and sleep for one.

my day is spent sitting in the kitchen staring out of the widow. I am very tearfull and have lost ALL motivation to do anything at all. my life is just an existance, the only thing i look forward to is going back to bed.

My psychiatrist said I have to make the effort myself to get up and do things, but I can't Im to depressed to do anything. I can see no future at all for me. I am 62, I am just waiting to die as there is nothing else to live for. any advice please.

thanks

Roger

2

Dear vangellis,

You must go to your GP and tell them just how dreadful you feel, you must make

Them understand that you cannot go on like this, how you are living and feeling is

Just an existence....insist that life is not worth living..I can totally sympathize with

You, I had that exact conversation with my own GP this morning, she raised my

Antidepressants straight away and she really listens to me...I was very

Fortunate too that I had a lovely psychiatrist who was very kind and got to know

Myself and my family very well... have you got any family or close friends you can

Open up to?...

It makes sense that if you begin to feel a little better you will want to and be

Capable of doing more.. Please get help as quickly as you can, the Samaritans are

An excellent help and support, also your mental health team must also have a

Crisis team, please get in touch with them also... my thoughts and very best

Wishes are with you, take care and be kind to yourself, please keep in touch,

Deirdre X-Men

3

Taking valium is not a good idea; this is one of the old fashioned drugs that does nothing for the patient except to become dependent on them. There are drugs that can help you to sleep so your GP needs to understand just how desperate you are for some decent sleep. Without the ability to get a decent night's sleep everything else becomes a nightmare and any other medication is unlikely to provide any help.

You have not given any indication what has lead to your present predicament. We do not just become depressed; there are always reasons and these need to be tackled. The medication is there to enable you to approach your daily life in a normal way (drugs do not cure depression - we cure ourselves given the help those druge provide) so getting sleep is the first step before any consideration of change to the medication.

A first step should be to have a really deep talk with your GP. Either your GP is going to help you or you need to change GP. Once your GP understands your sleep problem s/he should realise you cannot improve without getting good sleep and that must be the priority.

You may need a second opinion from another psychiatrist afterwards if that level and type of medication is not helping you, but get your sleep sorted out first.

4

I agree with Jaguar.  Doctors don't like to prescribe meds like valium now as there are much newer and better ones on the market.  I take sertroline for my depression and mirtazapine to help me sleep at night,  

You deserve better treatment than you are getting.  Let us know how you get on. x

5

Hi, Vangellis.

You need to find a new psychiatrist.  I take Mirtazapine 30mg this helps me to sleep at night.  My doctor also has me on Abilify10 mg and Latuda 40 mg.  Both of these help with my depression.

 Valium is definetely old school.  Your doctor should be listening too you better.  It sounds like you are severely depressed.  It sounds like you are alone.  I hope you have family and friends that are picking up on your depression.

Please call NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) at 1-800-950-NAMI.  They should be able to help you find a new psychiarist, getting counseling, and new medication.

Hang in there, Vangellis. 

6

I take mirtazapine 30mg which helps me sleep. I'm also on two other tablets so they might help as well. It is so hard to do anything when your depressed. It's awful when you have no motivation. I feel like this also so I know how you feel. 

7

HHi everyone, thank you so much for your replies, I really appreciate them.

It all started about 20 years ago wnen we moved to newport from tenby (a seaside town) I was employed as a caravan site maintenance manager and was kept busy 16 hours aday 7 days a week and I loved it. Then when we moved here I had nothing at all to do so I started feeling a bit depressed, I went to myGP who put me on prozac, it worked great for 12 years. I started fixing peoples cars from home as I am a fully qualified mechanic.

Then in 2007 ~I had a heart attack which nocked me for six, then the depression gradully got worse to the stage I am in now.

my gp refered me to a shrink 7 yers ago and he put me on 45mg mirt and 60mg prozac daily. I was like a zombie, totally spaced out all the time. I went back to my gp and he stopped the prozac.

Then he noticed my ankles were badly swollen so he cut the mirt to 30 mg daily. that didnt help so he cut it to 15mg daily. the ankle swelling is fine now.

I have been to see the shrink that many times I have lost count. I have told him over and over the mirt is not working but he simpy wont have it.

He says it is all in the mind and I need to force myself to do things, but I cant, I feel that ill I cant do anything at all.

I also have OCD, GAD and COPD which doesnt help.

my children have grown up and left home now and I miss them terribly, my wife works nights so when I get up if I been to bed she is asleep obviously.

I worry over the slightest thing, for instance my cars MOT was due and although I went over it with a fine toothcom I knew for a fact it would pass no problem at all. but waiting from the monday to the thursday I was worried sick, literally, I was actually being sick with worry. The car flew through the mot by the way..

I am a total wreck now with no hope and no future. I cant fix cars anymore because I have to make sure I dont overdo it due to my heart attack plus the COPD make me very breathless.

thanks for listening

Roger

8

Hi Roger,

Firstly I'd like to suggest that you find something to do during the days, besides staring out of your window. It doesn't have to be anything you particularly enjoy, just something that might help take your mind off of things which can trigger further depression, and will help you pass the time. Of course, pick an activity which won't put pressure on your body from the heart attack.

Secondly, find yourself another doctor. There are many drop in clinics as well where you don't have to register to be seen. I find this to be a useful backup when my doctor is being unhelpful! A few years ago, he told me my pains were in my head, so I went to a drop in and I have been diagnosed with a condition. Second opinions are always helpful when you have doctors who don't understand.

Thirdly, and I can't stress this enough, stop blaming yourself. I know you haven't specifically said this, but in most cases of depression the person suffering tends to blame themselves for things. But you shouldn't! The situation has been out of your hands, and you need to regain your control.

I'd suggest starting small. For me, I read and reply to forum posts about various illnesses and ailments, because it takes my mind off of my anxieties and depression. If that's not helping, I'll put on some music and just close my eyes and listen, try to memorise every single word and evaluate the meaning. Taking your mind away from everything is often the first stage to recovery, and often the hardest.

As for not being able to see your wife much, is there any way you would be able to alter your sleeping habits to reflect hers? Such as sleeping whilst she sleeps and spending time together before/after her work? That way you wouldn't be alone as much, and you may find it helps you to deal with some of the issues you're up against.

All the best! 

9

Hi Kyokyouryuu

Thank you for your reply.

I had an emergency appoinntment with my gp today who sent me by ambulance to the physc hospital. There i saa the same uselless shrink i always seee. He saidd exxacttly the   samee. I hsave to force myseelf to do tthhingds. Thatt was it he sent me away eveen though my gp advissed him oon thee phone i should be admittted.

I have decided enough is enough.. I intend to taake my own  life as i  simply cannot take annyymore. I have 80x10mg of valiuum and a bottlle of whisky and am halfway through taking the valium. Thank  youu all for your support i appreciate it. Thing iss it is  jussst to much for me to handle anymotre. Thank yoyy. God bless and goodbyyre

Roger x

10

I'd love to talk you out of this but I know all to well of having those overwhelming thoughts but roger it isn't the answer.

You have dealt with so much and can't let this beat. Your children and wife will be absolutely devastated while it may seem like the only way out. You won't be the one suffering with the decision you are making, they will.

I live onthe thought of having a family of my own and I understand how you feel, I do but if you truly love them then this isn't the answer..

I wish I knew what I could say to you, I just feel you should think of everyone you would leave behind and think if it's fair to do that do them... I hope you make the right decision and god bless x

11

Roger, please let us know your ok. 

12

I second that.  Please Roger let us know you are ok. x

13

Hi

I could'nt go through with in the end. I took 50mg valium then came to my senses.

I understand   what you mean about my chiildren. I have a son 29 and a daughter 25

and couldn't  do that to them. As far as my wife is concerned I couldn't give a crap about her. I detest the sight of her. But thats a different story

Thank you all for your concerns. Its nice to know someone somewhere can relate to my conditiion

God bless you

Roger

14

Glad you're ok roger.

I have overwhelming thoughts about doing it, I can't imagine how hard it is for you, I'm only 20 and get the the point of wondering whether it's worth it anymore.

I'll always listen and so will everybody else here, once again I'm glad you're ok, don't think I wasn't being sympathetic but it's usually what snaps me out of it, even if there's only a few people that would miss me anyway.

X

15

Thank you for letting us know your ok. We were all worried about you. 

16

Phew that's a relief Roger I was really worried about you.  Thanks for letting us know. Please don't do this again,  my nerves can't stand it!  Take care x

17

Thank you all very much for your concerns over my wellbeing.

I apologise if I caused anybody undue worry

Thank you

Roger

18

Roger, I'm sorry to hear about the bad response from your psychiatrist! I think you need to search for another one if you're able to. I understand your need for help, and the feelings of being completely alone and isolated. Having someone around doesn't alway help that. But there are lots of people out in the world who understand how you feel, and can guide you through it if you are willing to talk to them.

This forum post alone has shown how much support and love can be shown from one stranger to another. I'm pleased to see from your later comment that you didn't go through with it, and sorry I didn't see this sooner!

You're a lot stronger than you believe, and I know that deep down you can see you have something to fight for. Your children may been grown up, but I know from experience that they can still feel the pain of losing a loved one. Be strong for them, and for us, and most importantly for yourself. You can overcome this, Roger. You've already stopped yourself once, you can do it again. Please be strong!

19

Firstly, I like your username. He created the Bladerunner music right? 62 is just a number, you can still go out, date etc Maybe try some sort of dancing if you're single, can be a great way to meet people-You could also go with a partner/friend. You start out with no motivation. I forced myself to go to work with depression and anxiety. It helps to get a bit of normaility going. Maybe you'd benefit from a pet too? Dogs are great company and going on walks could be helpful for both of you-dogs are also a great way of interacting with other owners. It will help to focus on positive human interaction and using your life experience to help others. Also actively looking for things to be greatful for helps. Meditation is good too. Maybe you could look at a career? You can be any age. A neighbour of my Grandma is doing a social work degree and is of about your age, never tell yourself it's too late. The oldest person to go to university was over 90 I think. You can be happy, just keep asking yourself how you can make yourself feel better. Hope this helps, Al.

20

Hi. Im glad you like my username, but that is my surname and the 1952 is the year I was born. Theres not many vangellises in the uk. I was  bborn in the ik the name comes from my great x 8 Grandfather who moved to the uk in  the early 1800s.

I saw my gp again on friday as after the useless shrink i have rrefused to admit me even though my gp said he wanted me admitted he phoned me and told me to go and see him straight away. He put me on sertraline 50mg along woith my 15mg mirtazapine. He said very often a drug combo can be veryv effective. Have/are any of you been or are on this combo

Please excuse spelling. Its not me iyts this stupid phone :-)

Regards

Roger