What did I do wrong?

Treatment and medication
1

Hello,

Have been in hiding for the last week.

Been having terrible side effects. Am not being as careful as I should, am missing tablets left right and centre and am working at home again today as my tummy feels like it's on fire.

What a failure.

After my initial 4lbs the first week, I put on at WW this week, 1.5lbs. Needless to say I was not impressed. WTF?! I had finished my period the day before, been taking the tablets as I should and put on. The clerk was like, \"Was that unexpected then?\" and I wanted to scream at her, \"Of course it's f*****g unexpected, I'm taking friggin Orlistat!\"

I'm such a dick, I haven't changed at all, somedays I'm really good, and have cottage cheese and chicken and am starving but I feel like that's a good thing. Then other days I just lose control and totally gorge myself.

I obviously see the pills and some kind of quick fix. I feel really rotten today and it's my own fault.

Sort of feel like giving up, I'm clearly destined to be a fat blob forever.

2

If you dont want to be a 'fat slob' forever you dont have to be.

Your success is down to you only, with the help of this forum.

Think of why your doing this, get some goals down, mine is for my wedding day and to just generally look good and beable to buy clothes just of the hanger knowing 'yes,yes i can where that'.

I dont even own a skirt or dress, everything i try on looks like a black sack cos my bumps are in the wrong places.

Now write a meal planner down, mon-sun, breakfast, snack,lunch etc

Now write what your going to have, and why not allow a little summat unhealthy on one of the days, maybe a dinner or a snack? Its your little treat, so you can say to yourself 'in only 6 more meal sittings i get my chocolate bar, or macdonalds, it's up to you, and this might keep you on track.

Also why not just focus on the next 2 months, not how long it could take up to too loose the weight, hey even if you loose 1-2stone, its better than not loosing any atall, I probably have like 7 to loose and it seems so long away but, i have a 2 hols in sept and october. About 9 weeks away for the first one, so im focusing on losing just a stone, surely its acheieveable, i only have to be super good for 9 weeks, and the weight will come off! ,and i'l go away knowing im that little bit slimmer, and closer to my goals.

Did you read post , in need of motivation, that was mine, and yes i still sometimes feel like not being bothered and gorging, then you do it and you feel abosolutley s**t about yourself aferward, which led me to writing that and led you to writing this.

It's obvious you don't want to quit afterwise you wouldn't have posted this.

You can do it.

If you can't see yourself sticking it out for say, 10 months, atleast stick to it til say xmas, you will have loads and will shock all those family members, on how well you've done, well i will on mine.

Get that meal planner and take control of your life, not let the food take control.

(sorry for the essay), hope i have been of some help to you.

nora x

3

Hi amylena, Sorry to hear your feeling so low... Dont give up,, you are not alone. I have my ups and downs, but the one thing to remember is dont let the bad things spoil the rest of your week.. Just think right whats done is done, what can i do to improve it and start a fresh... Everyone feels like this from time to time its normal.. You can do this.. :D

We are all here for you... :lol:

Take Care Lola...

4

Thanks Nora and Lola.

Have just found Food Focus. Someone else mentioned it but it really is fab. Am going to start using that to track and keep a notebook too.

I need to do this, I want to be able to run around with my little girl without feeling like a big lump!

Thanks guys, need to look forward not back.

Amy

5

I mentioned the food focus a couple of days ago, brilliant site!

6

<<I'm such a dick, I haven't changed at all, somedays I'm really good, and have cottage cheese and chicken and am starving but I feel like that's a good thing. Then other days I just lose control and totally gorge myself. >>

There is nothing good or bad about eating. Staving yourself is not good, and it should not feel good.

Take a deep breath and look at why you feel this way. I've said a couple of times that I'm having counselling to help with my issues around food. I have finally got it into my head that I do not deserve to be fat.

There is also no reason to be hungry. A plate of salad or steamed green veg has few calories and virtually no fat. Do not have a bit of chicken and cottage cheese. Have a bit of chicken and a plate filed high with fresh veg. Add salt and pepper and even a bit of chilli powder if you like and enjoy eating it. Then have some cottage cheese as a pudding substitute.

Listen to nora and build treats into your planning.

Look at the reasons you over eat / eat in an unhealthy way. Find some low fat low calorie foods you can enjoy and keep talking to people on here. There really are some nice people, who are all going through the same thing. If we support each other we will do it.

7

You could be overweight for the rest of your life,. but that does not make you a good or a bad person. and certainly does not make you a slob. On the other hand there are plenty of people who are 9 stone 2 and are slobs. (In fact, thinking about it, some of the loveliest and most fun people I know are slobs. ) Quit this self attack because your brilliance, your joie de vivre and your worth are nothing to do with what you weigh.

So. my lovely vibrant sister - do you want to lose a bit of weight? Why? To get healthier? To impress someone else? To impress yourself? To get fitter so you can salsa? To be able to buy clothes more easily? To know the feeling of walking on the beach and feeling admiring looks? Go away now and write down 10 good reasons for you and read them every day.

Forget the mountain to climb and think about how much better you would feel if you were half a stone lighter. Can you lose 7 pounds some time between now and September? Sure you can. Why don't you promise yourself you will lose that 7 pounds and will stick to it like glue until you do. When you have achieved that then tell us, and then decide if you want to set another goal and an accompanying promise. If you decide to stop after the next 7 pounds, that would be fine, but if you make the promise to get there - you have to do it.

Keep in touch - we're watching you!