What is wrong with me?!

Mental health
1

I'm wondering if anyone could shed some light on my situation...

I suffered real heartbreak when I was 17 and since then I've completely changed as a person. It's the first time I had a breakdown and I stopped getting up in the morning blah-de-blah. Anyway, I eventually got better... and I also didn't get better if you understand what I mean?

I'm now 22, it's been 5 years and I saw him recently and felt absolutely nothing, I don't miss him and I barely think about him anymore. I just feel like it knocked me down and now I can't get back up no matter what the situation. I'm in a 2 year relationship at the moment with a lovely guy and I have the most supportive family, there is nothing actually wrong with my life and there never has been. This is why I'm confused.

I feel really lost. When I'm away from home I feel homesick and like I'm not ready to grow up, when I'm at home I feel secure and comfortable but guilty that I'm not out making a living for myself. I'm about to graduate from uni and live in a flat with room mates who I really get on with but I feel really anxious all the time. I can't seem to deal with anything, if my boyfriend and I argue (which doesn't happen often) it makes me sick and I start shaking/breathing funny and I can't rest until we've sorted it. I worry about stupid things, I worry what people think of me and I'm paranoid people say things about me. This is particularly hard when I'm a very blunt honest person which makes matters worse.

I wake up every morning with a icky feeling in my throat, like it's compressed and I need to take deep breaths to relieve it slightly. I have this almost constantly. I get headaches and I also have been suffering from IBS since I was about 11.

Obviously it's a stressful time leaving uni as it's going into the big bad world... so when I got a small job the other day I was extremely happy. Now that I've got to do it, I'm worried and unmotivated. I just want to go back to being young and having no worries. Basically... I want the job until I get the job... it's within an area I should enjoy because its sort of my hobby too... but I've lost motivation to do this as well. Nothing shouts out to me anymore, I'm just fed up of life but not suicidal...

I'm just wondering... what the hell is going on? I don't feel like I'm depressed because I can have a really good time when I'm around some people and I laugh a lot, I've never been suicidal... but now my only way to feel remotely relaxed is to drink. I'm not what you'd call a raging alcoholic but I drink a LOT more than I used to, possibly have a cider everyday at least because it is the only thing that takes this heavy feeling away... if I drink way too much on occasion, then I cry and tell whoever I'm near how unhappy I am. I've been on various meds and had counselling, I'm on Sertraline at the moment which I don't think is actually doing anything... Fluoxetine didn't work, Citalopram didn't work...

I just feel like I'm stuck in this worried, lazy, nostalgic, paranoid, unmotivated, guilt-ridden body suffering from something I can't get rid of.

Please help! sad

I'm very nostalgic for my childhood.

2

Hi Sarah,

I am so sorry to hear you are upset.

Anxiety and Depression can be horrible and I feel it is Depression you are suffering from.

Im glad you are with someone you like now and your family is supportive, this really helps in stressful times like these.

I think the main issue here is you are unable to deal with any type of stress.

This causes you anxiety, fear and hence all the other symptoms that come with it.

Always remember, THIS CAN BE CURED or alleviated to a great degree, it is just about changing certain small things in your life.

I would recommend adding Omega 3 and Vit D into your diet as this effects your mood and you are abel to deal with stress better. Exercise regularly to ease your anxiety.

I can promise you with the above changes you will see the difference in weeks.

This could be a purely psychological issue however prolonged anxiety and depression can cause real physical illnesses as well, no point talking about it here since I dont want to put any rubbish in your head right away .

Please let me know fi you need more insight, Im no expert but Iv gone through similar situations in life and know it can be very very hard to cope with.

I wish you the best and keep smiling

3

Hi Mo, thanks for replying.

Yes you're right, I can't deal with stress and have struggled finding any sort of new way to cope with it. I will bear the diet changes in mind so thanks for that.

4

Hi Sarah,

Sometimes when we are anxius we feel no one understand and you hear stuff that you feel you might never be helpful because the other person does not understand.

Trust me light exercise, I shall make you a regime if you like and diet will help. You are a young girl and we must try to resolve this issue now, if it persists into your 30's it will be much more difficult to deal with.

I am happy to liaise with you via private message if you feel the need.

Best Regards