My bf and I have been having sex for a bit. Unfortunately, until now I’ve really been ignoring what my body’s been telling me and it has caused a bit of a problem.
I am kind of a smaller girl so when we started having sex it was hard for me and it was painful. I started getting use to it but I don’t think there was a time that we’ve done it where there wasn’t some kind of pain. Every time it caused tearing which seemed to heal quickly. Regardless, a week or two ago we did it and everything was fine, except I think there was too much friction which didn’t make me feel the best. So this week we tried again and I felt a weird stabbing sort of pain on one side of my vulva. Of course I didn’t pay attention until now.
Today I decided to take a look at my vagina and then I noticed the lump on the left side of my vulva. Accompanying it I had some stringy discharge coming from my vagina which I could only get out by pulling, but I also had regular discharge that seemed just fine. Also the opening to my vagina is white, and it seems weird. I won’t be including a picture just for comfortability but the best way to describe it is that the opening is white and right below it (going towards my buttocks for reference, it’s not actually spreading towards anything) is also white.
I have already come to the conclusion that the bump is most likely a Bartholin’s cyst. I can’t be certain but it seems like it. It doesn’t hurt and I have no pain whatsoever regarding the whiteness. While on the toilet I also noted a slight odor but afterwards I took a bath and I think that took care of the problem. It could have been a hygiene problem on my part considering the discharge had hardly any odor if one at all.
My bf and I had unprotected sex twice because of the friction the condom was causing me. Once before this issue, and once after (but before I realized there was a problem). He has reported no symptoms himself, so it just seems like a me problem. I do take a combined hormonal birth control pill though, just to clarify. I’m wondering if he altered the pH of my vagina and that’s what caused the whiteness and discharge.
Anyway that is my problem currently, and I don’t have the ability to schedule an exam at a clinic or a doctor. No money, no insurance. So I’m really hoping I can treat this at home and that it’s nothing too worrying. Thank you for reading my wall of text and I hope someone out there relates to my experience and can give me some advice.
Hello Rigby
First of all I’m sorry that you are going though this. You should not have to deal with this
I’m sorry but no girl should have to deal with pain while having sex. You should be able to enjoy it and have fun not be in pain. This is not right. If your boyfriend is a little big he should make sure you are turned on enough to get enough lube if not you should tell him to stop and get some lube. No women should have to get use to the pain so he can have a good time.
You should not deal with tearing. That does not make sense you should not have to get use to it That get me mad. Your vagina is taking a beating and going through all of this . That is not right.
Your vagina is over worked and it should not be white. It should be pink. You should not have to deal with tearing, friction and irritation. If I were you I would not have sex until you are healed and tell him to go take care of himself.
You need to take care of you. Heal up and take a hot bath. No soap warm water only. Give your body some time and have a talk with that guy of your. He needs to treat you special and be caring and loving. Sex will be a whole lot better.
Best of luck…Ken
Hello, Ken. Thank you so much for your reply. So you are thinking that this isn’t an infection and more just from overuse? If so I’m glad that’s all it is because I can fix this problem easily.
Both my bf and I agree we are both to blame in this situation. I am a horrible communicator and he is too rough with me. Bad combination. He’s definitely not a bad guy and he cares for my experience, but I never really told him to the extent it hurts. I always heard it can hurt for the first time, however it really took several times to get anywhere and there was always tearing. I thought this was normal because we are both inexperienced, me even more so. We plan to buy lube though, which I won’t be having any more sex until we do. And until after I look after myself.
It really scared me when I noticed these issues and I was afraid I’d have to see a gyno and pay money I don’t have. I will follow your advice carefully and hopefully the problem will fix itself. And as far as the cyst at least it’s not abscessed. I will see what I can do for that as well. Thanks again!
Young lady
You two have to talk to each other he does not know what is going on. If it hurts you you should have told him to stop. If he is to big for you you do need a lot of lube being you are small. The vagina will take any size penis but you have to work into it and use lube. Get a water base lube That will be the best.
Now the cyst may go away on it own. Take hot bath that will help.
Just be careful God bless…Ken
I will be better about it in the future I promise. Thanks so much for the help!
hi, i believe you do have a yeast infection. When ever your vagina starts producing excessive amount of discharge, or has changed than you most likely have a YI. Without a picture but from the description i would lean on a YI. You should treat it as it could get worse and if there is white film spreading it can cause sore or lesions. Also when ever you do have sex with a new person, or first time it can and will throw off your normal PH specially if he ejaculates in you. Remember if it hurts stop, communicate and he should respect your decision. Does your discharge have a sweet smell and is it causing a itchy feeling or burns when you go pee ?
Hello, Kelly. So far I’ve had zero pain, itching, or anything going on down there. The only two things I note are that the opening is white and I have a cyst. I haven’t seen any abnormal discharge today either, and I’m not sure if my odor is abnormal. I know it was yesterday before my bath and that really scared me since I’ve never had a noticeable smell as far as I can tell. But from what I could smell today it didn’t strike me as a bad one.
If you’re thinking it could be a yeast infection I can definitely treat for it. I did have one a few months ago when I had Covid-19. Although, that time I did have burning and itching accompanying it, which is why this is so confusing for me haha. I also unfortunately couldn’t smell at all so I can’t say whether what I smelled yesterday was what I smelled like during my first yeast infection.
Anyway, I hope a yeast infection is all it is, or maybe it’s because I didn’t use enough lube during sex and the tearing that occurred caused the whiteness. I’ll still be trying to take baths and such in the meantime to take care of the cyst and keep my body clean.
As for my bf he knows he’s also at fault and we’re going to work on that in the future.
general rule of thumb for discharge smell is if it smells from your vagina to your nose something is wrong. If you have to bring it to your nose than it is considered normal. This is what my doctor told me when i was concerned about my discharge. If your opening your vagina lips and when spread open is white than i would say sounds like a yeast infection. at the very least Now a picture is worth a thousand words meaning without actually seeing what is going on is harder to determine what you have . However treating yourself for a YI is easy and will not cause you any harm.. Monistat 1 works well. If you feel like you have a lump and is painful you should seek medical attention or monitor at least so you know if its gone down or gotten bigger. As far is lube is concerned you should not have to need it as your body already makes it but if in doubt use it and one that is safe for you as some can cause slight irritation.
I will definitely monitor my smell then. It seemed normal today so that’s a good sign. As far as the whiteness, I wouldn’t say it’s on my lips, so sorry if I maybe misworded that. I believe it is on my hymen, the skin with a hole in it leading to the vagina. And it hasn’t spread to any other part of my body.
I hope that’s correct, I’ve always easily confused my vaginal anatomy, which makes me feel so silly so again sorry.
Luckily the lump is not painful and lines up for the description of a Bartholin’s so I’m not as concerned about that since I think I can treat that at home.
no need to apologize, it is good know your vagina anatomy and to know what is normal and what is not. Do not be afraid to self examine and explore yourself. Many people have only looked down a handful of times as there maybe times to not really look down and see what it looks like as long as you dont have any discomfort if you know what i mean.
Yes! Thank you for your help. I will continue to monitor it and if yeast infection treatment and rest doesn’t work I will try my best to see a doctor if possible.