So I went to see my doctor today and had it confirmed that I have genital herpes. I feel like an absolute idiot and am already dreading future relationships.
I've read a lot on the subject. I know a lot of people have it, I know the stigma attached to it is unwarranted, I'm aware of all the facts. But I've only recently come out of a horrendous relationship. I suffer from anxiety (yeah, some of us have all the luck). But I was looking forward to moving on and starting something proper.
As if explaining years of depression and anxiety and the fact I already have ridiculous hang ups about sex, I'm now expected to be open and honest about this? I know that the 'right person' will be kind and understanding but I feel like my selection of 'right people' was already vastly limited and is now even more so?
Frustrated, confused, upset and feeling rather isolated?
Hello rosey23, i was diagnosed yesterday and like you have done extensive research and trying to tell myself its just like a coldsore, but am feeling pretty disgusted about the whole thing. What I dont know is if I had it for years and only just had an outbreak, been pretty stressed lately, or if I caught it from the guy I was seeing at the time.
You are certainly not isolated as the forum is proving to me. And the common question seems to be how to meet someone else?? today I've been thinking, this has no other impact on my life, I'll just be single... for the rest of my life... never have sex again.. it wont be that bad! Not what I wanted tbh..
Hey, I'm sorry to hear that If it makes you feel better once the first one clears up it's much easier forgotten and I definitely feel so much better than I did a couple of weeks ago.
I've spoken to my doctor and she said if you're careful there's no reason you have to shout it to everyone... Just explain when you feel comfortable doing so. You will have sex again, I have! I think if you keep reading and especially look on forums like these you'll realise it really is SO much more common than you'd think. And you're absolutely right that it is EXACTLY like a coldsore, hard to accept at first definitely but you wouldn't judge someone for a coldsore (even though they're clearly a lot more obvious!)
I hope yours clears soon and you feel better in yourself
Hey guys! Sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I've had HSV-1 for around a year and a half now and I was feeling the EXACT same as you guys are just now. I was so upset about it I even stopped having sex for a long time and stayed away from any potential blooming relationships..
I always thought about how I could tell any new partners - do I tell them from the start? Do I avoid sex with them until they ask why? But after a while I realised that my condition may be a blessing in disguise, at least in terms of finding the right person.
If you start to develop a really good bond with someone, and you feel things may have the potential to go further (and you decide you may want to be intimate with this person), just tell them. Easier said than done, right? Well I've been there and trust me, it's the best decision I've made. Think of it like this; if you tell this person you have the condition and they don't want to pursue things with you because of it, then you'll be lucky to be shot of them! And if they are okay with it; perfect. You've found someone that is interested in you enough to look past something that you have worried so much about!
Rosey23 - I felt the exact same as you in terms of not always being spot on in selecting "the right person" but since I've been diagnosed I've thought more carefully about if potential partners are "right" by contemplating how this person may react to my revelation - if I think they won't take well to it then they certainly aren't right for me.
I hope my rambling on has helped, if even just a tiny bit! If you guys wanna ask or chat about anything then go ahead, we're in this together x