What's wrong with me?

Mental health
1

Hello! I'll start out by saying I'm a 17 year old female in my junior year of highschool.

I think I'm going crazy. Not literally crazy but something has happened to my head and I can't figure out what to do about it.

1. I feel empty. I've always had problems with emptiness and sadness from my heart arrhythmia but as my heart health has gotten worse so has my thoughts about my self.

2. I feel so detached from everything. Like I'm going to die soon if that makes any sense. It feels like nothing is really.

3. I feel so awful about myself. No one cares about me. I've lost all my friends and I'm nothing like any of the fun people I know. Even my teachers don't seem to care about. I swear I'm not a bad person. I have good manners, I keep to myself, I'm not loud and I'm very kind to everyone I meet.

4. My anxiety is so bad. I just always feel nervous about everything.

5. I can't think. My thought process is messed up. I'm surprised I'm able to write this.

6. I have awful thoughts. Like thoughts bad enough to make me hate myself.

7. Everything is a constant blur.

Everything just really stinks at this point. I could go on with the long list of everything that has been happening to me that is abnormal but its to many. I don't know what to do at this point. Everything seems so 1 dimensional and awful.

Any ideas?

2

Good Day

Dear listen your not alone. I've been trough a lot as well. You need to be positive and brave. I know is not easy. It is very difficult to face a situation alone. With no friends whom can support you. I have family support on my side. Please don't lose hope.. 🌹

3

Have you talked to your parents or family for help/support? You should try seeing a therapist, specifically one who specializes in anxiety/depression. I used to feel like you, but after I started seeing a therapist I felt so much better and she really helped me learn how to cope with my anxiety. =)